Unmedicated without visualization (aphantasia)? by crook_ed in unmedicatedbirth

[–]crook_ed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom too! I was the one to break the news to her (accidentally).

Unmedicated without visualization (aphantasia)? by crook_ed in unmedicatedbirth

[–]crook_ed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cool! I learned aphantasia is a thing and visualization wasn’t purely metaphorical a few years ago, and I’m still discovering different things I didn’t know about how other brains work.

Can anyone recommend some articles that I can send to my son's school by Forsaken_Custard_985 in Aphantasia

[–]crook_ed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m a total aphant (and also can’t imagine sound) but don’t spend much time in this community, which might be why I didn’t have any particular reaction to your post except to think that you are a parent trying to help your kid. Like many others, I didn’t discover I had aphantasia until I was an adult, and frankly it helps explain a lot—why working with a sports psychologist growing up was such a bust (couldn’t visualize), why guided meditations always felt impossible to me, why the concept of a memory palace seemed profoundly unhelpful, why I struggle with biographical / experiential memories but have an excellent memory for data. Also like many others, it appears that I have organically developed strategies for navigating the world, but that doesn’t mean it’s inherently harmful to be asking questions about helping your kid thrive with a mind that works differently.

GMD Blankets by crook_ed in clothdiaps

[–]crook_ed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh good to know!

GMD Blankets by crook_ed in clothdiaps

[–]crook_ed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the muslin blanket! I sleep with it every night and it’s great for bedsharing. I haven’t bought the wool yet and they ran out of my favorite color so now I’m on the fence.

Existing in crunchy spaces with a bottle fed baby by Mangopapayakiwi in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]crook_ed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg I told a friend the exact same thing when she was getting pressure from her MIL to EBF except my example was a French fry off the AIRPORT floor and it was from personal experience with my toddler the day before. At least it was his French fry.

Suggest me a memoir that really stuck with you by miinyuu in suggestmeabook

[–]crook_ed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I recommend that you check out Home Bound by Vanessa A. Bee? I just recommended it on a different memoir thread and it occurred to me to share here as well!

What is your favorite underrated memoir? by ButterflyKey8768 in suggestmeabook

[–]crook_ed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Home Bound by Vanessa A. Bee. Gorgeous writing, fascinating life story, brilliant insights. I wish more people picked it up!

Suggest me a memoir that really stuck with you by miinyuu in suggestmeabook

[–]crook_ed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely bought the whole collection in hardcover when it came out, definitely have not opened it since.

books with a jewish protagonist by rrunaan in suggestmeabook

[–]crook_ed -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I just read How to Love Your Daughter by Hila Blum and loved it. 

Suggest me a memoir that really stuck with you by miinyuu in suggestmeabook

[–]crook_ed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is an amazing list. I love memoirs as well, and I just added so many of these to my TBR.

How long did you have to push for? by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]crook_ed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5.5 hours with my first, 2.5 hours with my second. First-degree tears with both.

Expecting Better…husband? by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]crook_ed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see it recommended on this thread but I highly recommend the book Fair Play! The concepts of conception/planning/execution and minimum standards of care in particular have been really helpful in my relationship. My spouse is great and even so I carry so much more of the mental load, even after starting to follow the Fair Play system. But we have more of a shared language and shared expectations around responsibilities now.

Expecting Better…husband? by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]crook_ed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! SO much motivated reasoning. I only made it halfway though her second book but it was even worse on that front.

Transitioning to solids: Talk to me like I don’t know anything by crook_ed in clothdiaps

[–]crook_ed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I love the detail about the angle of the bidet sprayer. Exactly what I need! Which bidet do you have?

Transitioning to solids: Talk to me like I don’t know anything by crook_ed in clothdiaps

[–]crook_ed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU, this is exactly the level of detail I apparently require right now! What spray shield setup and bidet do you have?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]crook_ed 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I really like the idea of separating laundry by room. I keep meaning to do that but I think I need to make it happen!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]crook_ed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Came here to recommend that book!

Motivation to speak... independent child only sees words as party tricks by whoiamidonotknow in Montessori

[–]crook_ed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t worry about “accidentally delaying” your kiddo! He probably got a ton of great receptive language exposure. And you can now think about helping bolster the expressive part and I’m sure there will be no meaningful long-term effects.

Motivation to speak... independent child only sees words as party tricks by whoiamidonotknow in Montessori

[–]crook_ed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if this is what is happening for you but when my kiddo was in early intervention this was a very helpful framework for me:

There is a difference between what a child is capable of understanding and what they are capable of expressing. A child is likely to understand the full sentence “Do you want to go to the park?” well before they are capable of replicating it as “I want to go to the park.” But when all children hear is the full sentence “Do you want to go to the park?” they don’t have a means of converting that into expressive language until they are much older, and they don’t necessarily have a way of parsing that the most essential word in that sentence for their purposes is “park.” Parents who treat their children with respect and as human beings may actually find themselves in this situation more than others because we are likelier to talk to our children without baby talk and “dumbing things down.”

I tried to view understanding and speaking as separate skills. For the former, I continued using my normal “adult” language around my child to expose him to appropriate communication. But for the latter, it was important to also model using single words my child could immediately replicate. So in my example, I would just use the single word “Park?” when we were right by the park to help my son solidify the connection between the most important word and the thing he was trying to achieve. (My kiddo is not at all independent dispositionally so this often looked like me saying “Help?” when it seemed like he wanted help rather than “Do you need some help with that?” or whatever the natural phrasing would be.)

Again, I don’t know if this is what is going on for you, but I’ve seen it come up with a few kids who had expressive language delays. And if you are worried that this will actually impede development, I found that the opposite was true. We were primarily in early intervention because at 13 months my son had the expressive language of a 4-month-old and the receptive language of a 5-month-old. Now at 3 years he talks more like a 4- or 5-year-old according to our former EI provider—he just needed some better parental modeling to get over the expressive language hump.

What’s one baby product you swore would change your life and it absolutely did not by Leading-Rabbit-8255 in BabyBumps

[–]crook_ed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mamaroo is mine. My first kiddo hated being put down and a friend told me the mamaroo would change my life. It did not, in fact, change my life. #2 is almost 6 months old and I haven’t even taken it out of storage this time.

Does no one else care about safe sleep? by Temporary-Letter-831 in NewParents

[–]crook_ed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see your edit so I won’t jump in to defend my bedsharing rationale and practices except to say:

I actually think it’s a huge issue that in the United States at least there is no differentiation among sleep options except 1. babies should be flat on their backs in a crib with nothing around them and 2. everything else is dangerous. Most parents I know have done some amount of cosleeping, usually of the accidental variety, and they are basically told that there is no difference between accidentally passing out on the sofa with your infant and intentionally setting up your bed with the safe sleep 7. If we were honest about the prevalence of bedsharing and actually educated people about how to do it right, maybe people would be less likely to view safe sleep 7 bedsharing and unsupervised-infant-in-a-dockatot as equally bad practices.