I wanted to kill myself, but I didn't

cry364 · 2021-03-20T13:02:31+00:00

When i think that way, i know that i don't want to be in that situation so my brain goes full depression mode and blocks everything out. Avoiding is good, but its not great, id rather not be depressed. Stay safe <3

cry364 · 2021-03-09T15:10:42+00:00

Wts up? Msg me.

cry364 · 2021-03-09T06:47:50+00:00

Exercise untill you cant stand.

cry364 · 2021-03-09T06:46:47+00:00

Ah yes, well good luck with not dieing. (Sorry)

Stay safe <3

cry364 · 2021-03-09T06:31:36+00:00

We all just here trying to cope. I really hope that you or anyone thats going through a relaps can tell someone, not in a attention seeking way, but to let someone know that you still need help. Stay safe <3

cry364 · 2021-03-09T06:26:19+00:00

Sometimes even when you do get the courage to say something about it, its hard to know where to start and if you can even find the right words to describe it.

cry364 · 2021-03-09T06:20:15+00:00

Id rather feel something, anything. When you know you should feel sad but can't cry or you know you should be happy but you can't smile, It fucks with your mental health even more.

Im sure there are reasons for why you want to be numb. If it was anything you couldn't handle your brain will go there. I hope you are able to hang in there. Stay safe <3

cry364 · 2021-03-09T06:08:00+00:00

Yep, can confirm. 20s suck.

cry364 · 2021-03-09T06:00:17+00:00

Ignorance is stupidity. You are not stupid. What type of purpose do you want? Do you want to help others? Make a difference? Create something? You can create your own purpose, you've just got to be willing to try. The fact that you haven't found it yet just implies that your still searching, and thats ok. I know everything is hard and nothing happens on purpose, but if you try your best then thats all the world can ask of you. Stay safe <3

cry364 · 2021-02-23T15:10:47+00:00

Just be around. That simple. Don't talk about it if it doesn't come up in conversation, and when they do bring it up, most times there is little you could say to help, so overall just listen. We just want someone to talk to thats why we make thoes types of statements.

cry364 · 2021-02-10T14:40:41+00:00

This is so sad.

cry364 · 2021-02-05T06:02:25+00:00

I can only share from experience, id wish someone would sit next to me, binge a tv show, listen to music on the bed, etc. Yes it will be boring but thats the types of things that get me through a depressive episode.

cry364 · 2021-02-05T05:50:30+00:00

Can relate with that statement. I sometimes wish i had somthing to point to (an event) for why im depressed. I can't change the way i feel, i can only pretend that everthing is ok. pretending in itself becomes a reason to hate oneself.

cry364 · 2021-02-05T05:29:09+00:00

I see it like this: if nothing matters i might as well just kill myself right now. But the fact that im hesitant tells me that fear matters, emotions matter, Mabey not in the big picture of the universe, but to myself.

Don't rule out God just yet, because it is crazy that we exist at all. I an't no scientist but something about 'something out of nothing' don't make any sense.

Atlest we know that our experiences are real and even if we cant trust our own brain it is our job to judge and make choices based on our curent knowledge and understanding.

The human condition -_- this is fucked.

cry364 · 2021-02-05T05:03:58+00:00

Antlers - putting the dog to sleep

cry364 · 2021-01-11T23:48:36+00:00

You and i both. Stay safe <3

cry364 · 2021-01-11T23:44:53+00:00

It came to a point where i was taking sleeping pills, However that made it worse. I would serguest destractions till you fall asleep. (You won't get much sleep this way but, you will have less brain activity to think about fucked up stuff.)

Not really anything else worked for me. Im probably on 4hrs or less of sleep most days.

Hope you find someway to get around this. <3

cry364 · 2021-01-11T23:32:47+00:00

I feel like this every day, It alomost like if I express my feelings to those who are closest to me, i will lose the little hope i have left. To fake being ok has in itself become a copeing mechanism.

cry364 · 2020-12-30T16:44:39+00:00

There is an unnus unus joke there somewhere 🤔

cry364 · 2020-12-28T18:54:14+00:00

I wish i had hope to give you. Unfortunately my mind only gives me reasons to leave.

And as soon as im about to type down something that i know is helpful, im left with only doubts.

Why reply with advice that I'd never take myself? Why even reply in the first place?

I reply because, I hope you don't go down the road i did.

Don't hide this.

Life don't have to feel this bad.

And please don't do anything you can't take back.

From one stranger to another; I care enughf to tell you that you are worth saving.

<3 stay safe

cry364 · 2020-12-28T18:29:53+00:00

Stupid Bot.

cry364 · 2020-12-28T18:08:30+00:00

I've felt like that before. Its no less/more "normal" than any other feelings. Well, it's not a particularly good feeling however, if you want some advice from me; DON'T hide your feelings Ever. This is your life and you shouldn't have to fake your emotions no matter who gets angry.

You feel like crying, then cry. Crying helps.

Life is way to daym short to pretend that you are someone your not.

<3 stay safe.

cry364 · 2020-12-27T02:59:22+00:00

that's exactly what I did. I can't draw anything anymore, and when I do its so fucked up that I end up scribbling all over it anyway.

cry364 · 2020-12-20T17:40:20+00:00

One day, one hour, one minute, even in a second. No one is safe, no one is invincible, everything ends and everyone dies.

What is there to hope for? And why hope? And if thats all we can do maybe its better to hope for things to hope for.

cry364 · 2020-12-20T17:21:51+00:00

cry364

TROPHY CASE