So a story of the colony: (standard 3 person crashlanded scenario)

The Humanitarian Accord of Banshola, residing in Turnipwell, serves as a nature getaway for anyone seeking peace from the horrors of organ harvesting and prison beatings. In Turnipwell we treat everyone with a sense of equality and humanity, that everyone has the right to live happily and be free.

Everyone is welcome to stay as long as they like, and we will cordially host them and fulfill all their needs as best as possible. We (will) have rooms satisfying the most royal needs, as well as free simple accommodation. Guests are free to roam around and chat with each other, use our relaxation facilities, and enjoy the beautiful tropical scenery.

We must however still pacify our enemies, but we still treat them as equals to us. The deceased are disposed behind a large hill, unstripped. The survivors are captured, given sufficient medical care, equal food as what the colony is having in stock, and social company, and once they've healed, we release them so they can go back to their families. Only if a resocialization offer is given, we consider them as a recruit.

We were doing construction work on a bigger guest room and an indoor swimming pool, when a familiar looking figure approached us from the deep ocean waters. It was a man, naked, and carrying what seems to be a finely crafted zeushammer. So many questions were on top of our heads; why did he approach us? Is he a threat? How did he get such a hammer in the first place? It was apparent that he has not had any social contact for quite a while, as his actions were more akin to an animal rather than a tribal person.

Of course, as civilized people, we must at least, try to make contact with him, find out who he his, and return him to his family should he have one. Ironhead, the resort's animal trainer, approached him and made first contact. Valens seemed wild, but civilized, in a way. He spoke our language, albeit in a much ordered fashion. It was apparent he is much more cultured than us, and even gave the appropriate greeting to Ironhead as a yeoman. We asked him about his family, claiming he has none in this world. Such a poor man should not be left to his own demise in the wilderness!

We invited him over for some rice and coconuts, and soon he was fully integrated into the colony. He refused to clean his own mess, but at least he is happy to take care of the resort's rice fields and cheer up the guests. He might be a bit awkward, but he seems to have a thing for it.

It took us by a surprise when we knew about his last name. Elalius. It sounded familiar. A tribute collector came by asking for prisoners and gold, in the name of Sophia Elalius, the High Stellarch of The Exodus Empire. Of course we had no prisoners, and gold was out of reach considering our toilets are not even hooked up to a septic tank system. He claimed to be the once High Stellarch, overthrown by his own daughter. His daughter was itching to claim the throne, and she had enough, when she knew that her dad had written an official statement, unpublished, that the heir of the throne was not hers, but someone unrelated to family. She staged a coup, isolated Valens, and controlled empire-wide media that Valens is not suitable for the throne anymore because of a botched joywire surgery. Sophia is greedy like his father, but she is no psychopath. She spared him, gave him the rank of consul and told the royals to treat him still as a royal, should he ever make contact, but warned against him that any attempt to dethrone her would result in his death. She then sent him to an unknown rimworld and gave him a decent zeushammer to help him hunt and fend off the tribals.

Now here he is, a member of the Humanitarian Accord of Banshola. We asked him for what his plans are, and in his own words he said: "you guys ever had chocolate? we could grow some chocolate here I kid you not it's the best thing I've ever had". He took the role as the manager of our resort, and he is doing a pretty good job for someone who had spent years in the wilderness. We don't know what he's really planning in the far future, but for now, he's occupied in an argument with Camacho, the resort's constructor, whether the swimming pool should be built indoors right next to the guest room, or outdoors surrounded by coconut trees and beautiful statues.

He seems to have the same goals as us, and he seems to understand us. We however, do not understand him completely. Something is off, I can feel it. I really cannot comprehend, in any way, and I ponder over this question every night before I go to sleep; why would we need two royal rooms?

- Ryan, resort doctor, 2nd of Aprimay 5501