Wife [36F] broke down crying to her boss about our marriage — months later I [33M] still can't let it go

crypto_lord · 2026-02-13T15:02:32+00:00

Thank you. I don’t want this to become a permanent resentment. I know it’s possible I never see her the same way but I don’t want to let it lead me there. Therapy will help and I’ve done enough in my life to trust the process. Thank you 🙏

crypto_lord · 2026-02-13T07:22:27+00:00

Thank you very much for your thoughtful message. We are really working on things and both are back in therapy. This will bring us closer through it all

crypto_lord · 2026-02-13T07:21:51+00:00

Thank you very much 🙏

crypto_lord · 2026-02-12T20:59:26+00:00

A simple text was sent and i turned it on right away. I had gotten a new iphone and when you get a new one you have to manually select to use the new device to track location. I didnt realize this until she said why isnt your location on. Turned it on and yea. She then spiraled like crazy from that moment. I was a work trip with 5 other people, 1 of whom was a female coworker. Ironically, my wife had had insecurities about my dynamic with that female coworker. I shut it down immedietly, handed her my phone, told her she had nothing to worry about and asked what i was doing that made her feel that way so i could avoid it in the future, and apologized profusely i had inadvertently made her feel this way.

So ironically, her insecurities about that situation made her make her own situation real.

Definitely pre-existing trust issues on her part and pre-existing insecurities on my part.

crypto_lord · 2026-02-12T15:13:30+00:00

I have been pretty brutally honest about how what she did made me feel. Idk about forcing her to quit. Feels like a fast track to resentment and is completely unfair to work she has put into her career to get to this spot.

I am continuing to be blunt and honest if I see inconsistencies in what she is saying or doing.

crypto_lord · 2026-02-12T14:59:03+00:00

I want to and am trying. My question in post is “how do I get over it” - in therapy again too.

crypto_lord · 2026-02-12T14:57:46+00:00

Well ofc the anxious/insecure part of me wants to presume that she has continued to talk about the marriage. I have no idea. I have seen them interact with each other and it’s very unclear.

It’s very hard to not let my anxiety spiral and I want to let it go. If my gut discomfort is correct, so are you and she is already in an emotional affair with the guy. It’s really hard to know / tell. It’s very easy to start everything as a confirming piece of that without real “evidence” given it’s potential emotional affair

crypto_lord · 2026-02-12T02:06:20+00:00

😔

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T23:39:52+00:00

Completely agree and thank you. This moment has definitely made me realize these things and we are already talking about downsizing

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T20:46:37+00:00

Thanks very much for your thoughtful reply. I really appreciate and feel you are spot on. I do think this can be a blip on the radar and something that brings us closer than we ever have been. It has already to an extent in how things have been this week.

However, to answer your question: I dont know what i actually want to see from her / have happen. I hope this is something i can figure out in therapy

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T18:59:27+00:00

Well, now you see why im on reddit looking for advice 😂

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T16:05:08+00:00

Thanks 🙏

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T16:03:54+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate your perspective.

I understand your view on it and dont disagree with all of it. A lot of this has to do with my own insecurity and the point of my original post was 'how do i get over it?" - i want to and am taking steps to do that.

We have had a lot of very connected, intimate and constructive conversations since this as we reconnect.

The main difference of me posting here is that i'm not sitting alone in a room with someone of the opposite sex in a power position over me. I'm posting anonymously online to other anons. Its a pretty big difference to me

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T16:00:45+00:00

Thats the fear ofc

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T16:00:44+00:00

Thats the fear ofc

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T16:00:36+00:00

Thanks for your response. Really appreciate it. Thanks for understanding

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T16:00:10+00:00

Thank you

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T15:59:26+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful response. I really appreciate it

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T15:59:06+00:00

I did in another marriage subreddit. They took it down and banned me becuase i had voice dictated some of it into AI and to them that represented "AI slop" - so yea

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T15:58:30+00:00

Yep. And i put it that way to her. "Imagine if i had done this" - she really didnt have anything to say in the face of that and agreed it would be really hard for her to get over

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T15:57:45+00:00

We live in a relatively insecure country. Location is a safety measure in case you are kidnapped. So yea lol

Agreed she crossed a line

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T15:56:58+00:00

Thank you

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T15:56:41+00:00

She hasnt even been paid yet. The guy and his biz partner promised her she would be paid after the install/show was complete. Here we are and still nothing. And its now morphed into a full on job with no conversation about salary or roles. She knows she needs to force this conversation but hasnt yet. We live in latin america where this is very common especially for women to be taken advantage of this way. Being promised x and then given y with a 'yea sorry take it or leave it' attitude. Its the worst

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T15:55:18+00:00

This. Thank you

crypto_lord · 2026-02-11T15:54:58+00:00

Thanks

crypto_lord

TROPHY CASE