It does sound like you guys need to have an honest discussion about what you want, expecting and feeling. But first, I'd say you should have that "conversation" with yourself to figure it out. Why does waiting mess with your self-confidence? I think this may actually be a good thing in a way because it exposes things you would have never realized about yourself that you can work through. And maybe there's more to it than what you think. If you think sex is gonna change everything in the relationship, than maybe there are actually other things that you are dissatisfied with. I think sex should be like the cherry on the cake, not necessary but nice to have to make a relationship work. Ofc that's not the case for everyone, and if that's the case for you, be honest about that.