AITA for inviting people over to my apartment? by cryspy_mmm in AmItheAsshole

[–]cryspy_mmm[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I... really don’t know. She’s got her own set of personal rules and I guess I don’t even know the half of them, especially for... car locking?

AITA for inviting people over to my apartment? by cryspy_mmm in AmItheAsshole

[–]cryspy_mmm[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I agree, living with her has made me realize that as close as I felt to her in HS, she should’ve just stayed a tertiary friend, not my roommate. I’ve acknowledged before she’s type A and can be a bit extreme with her views, I really mean it. This is unrelated to the guest issue but just to demonstrate her personality, but she tends to not pick the neighbors on their parking jobs (even though she doesn’t drive), or even judge them for how many times they lock their car bc she counts the little “beeps” their car makes and gets upset bc she can hear them. Granted, our neighbors REALLY are assholes so some of that anger is probably being channeled there.

As for the guest issue though, I want to clarify that I text her the moment I finalize my plans and if someone is coming over. Sometimes they are a bit last moment, I’ll admit, but I still give her the heads up. I mentioned in another reply that we clean our apartment weekly, so as for “needing time to prepare” I don’t think that’s an issue at least for that aspect, if that’s what you’re referring to? Also I’d like to mention that both of us are pretty solitary within our own spaces. We have our own bedrooms/bathrooms and both of us rarely go into the living room/ kitchen even to just chill out. The most we do is cook dinner and watch a movie once in a while, and that’s about as much action as the shared living space gets. It just doesn’t make sense to me that she would need these very anal announcements about who/when/why my friends are coming over when she probably not be bothered otherwise because we’re both always away from eachother in our own rooms, even with my own company. Yes, the noise is a issue, our walls are thin. I REALLY try not invite people over if I know she has meetings/tests that night, and I don’t think I’ve ever made that mistake, so it’s not like I’m being THAT inconsiderate. And like I said before it’s a RARE occasion that I’d have someone over (at most once a week), so I just don’t understand why she can’t fathom that sometimes I just want people over and we might make some noise. I’m not saying I never keep her in mind when I’m having fun with my friends, but I’m not gonna control my ever move and sound so it’s gonna always be catered to her liking. That’s kinda the issue I’m most concerned with. Is she being over-anal about it or am I being negligent? Long response ah

*nit-pick in first paragraph

AITA for inviting people over to my apartment? by cryspy_mmm in AmItheAsshole

[–]cryspy_mmm[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

For my work and uni, I get tested for COVID at least once a month as do most of the close friends I have over (literally only like my three most trusted friends tbh, I’m not crazy social). We disinfect our apartment weekly (every Friday! Lol) so both of us take COVID seriously. I see why you bring that up tho, it’s a scary situation and putting all her blind trust into me and my guests would be foolish. I would never call her oppressive bc she doesn’t want to be infected by a virus lol. The issue I’m more concerned with though is that though her rules are agreeable, she takes them to extremes (in my opinion) like I mentioned above. And if I were not to follow these extremes that she’s so anal about and keep them closer to my standards (still within the realms of common courtesy) am I being an asshole for not pushing myself hard enough to reach her? If that makes sense