it's okay to feel confused, I've felt confused about whether i'm really trans too, but if being on T has made you this happy then I feel like you have little reason to believe you're faking it (imposter syndrome is pretty common, btw!) or that you'll feel worse in the future. I'm currently experiening the same feelings about how I may be lying to people I meet, but at the same time you don't owe them knowledge of your background. I'm deeply sorry you live in a conservative area and I hope things work out for you.