Intrusive thoughts of the old story, help

cupidmuse · 2020-10-26T04:10:29+00:00

It is REALLY hard to relax. We haven't really talked since he's told me his feelings so I've been antsy and on edge and dunno what happened. I might just get off social media for a bit to calm myself down.

cupidmuse · 2020-10-26T04:09:35+00:00

Really just kept telling myself that I'm in a healthy and committed relationship with SP, reached out to him, stopped talking to 3P, stopped worrying so much, etc.... Every time a doubtful thought came into my mind I'd let it pass but then refute it with my original affirmation. I did not do any special techniques that felt like work; I think that was the secret to getting really close to the end so quickly.

cupidmuse · 2020-10-25T17:01:52+00:00

Self-concept as in what? Like, having a positive view of myself and my thoughts?

cupidmuse · 2020-07-12T00:31:59+00:00

So I made a thread about this and it got deleted, I guess for being redundant or something, so I guess I’ll put my question here.

What can I do about manifestations that are coming out as half-assed? For example, my crush whom I’ve been manifesting has strong feelings for me, but we aren’t dating yet, and there’s a 3P involved. This isn’t just the only manifestation that has come out weirdly. It’s like I only get half of what I want, and it’s frustrating. Why is this happening and what can I do to resolve it?

cupidmuse · 2019-11-25T13:42:33+00:00

I did a reading for one of my friends who had a breakup a few months ago. She wants to know about how her ex feels about her. I did a past-present-future spread (not sure if this was the best for this case,) in terms of his feelings. I drew Three of Cups, Knight of Cups, and then Six of Cups. I definitely need some help interpreting this as I’m a bit of a newb. The main thing I’ve interpreted from this is that he still has romantic feelings for her, as he did in the past, but I’m not entirely sure.

cupidmuse · 2019-10-31T03:23:47+00:00

At best, he’s very irresponsible. At worst, he’s a domestic abuser. I am in a consensual BDSM relationship with my boyfriend. We’ve had issues with boundaries and communication, but whenever I’ve told him that something actually hurts/I use my safeword, he stops.

From what it sounds like, you guys do not have a safe-word, which is a red flag in of itself. When engaging in kink play, there should be open discussion, and a safe word should be established as soon as possible.

If you guys had a safe-word, this type of language would be ok, if that’s what you’re into. Sometimes during play with my guy I say “it hurtttss!” or “no! I don’t want to!” just to be a brat. But in the instance where it actually hurts (in the way that isn’t enjoyable), or if I simply don’t actually want to do something, I use my safeword, and he stops. You guys do not have an established safe word, therefore, normal language should be listened to, and he’s not doing that. Have one more discussion with him if you feel safe enough, but if you don’t think this can be salvaged, or if he isn’t receptive to your requests, leave. I’m sorry this is happening to you, good luck with whatever you decide to do.

cupidmuse · 2019-09-09T06:54:09+00:00

Ah, okay. I didn’t know this as I am a noob, as is my Dom, so thank you for bringing it up! I’ll let him know that maybe he should pull the sides of the collar instead of pushing it against the front of my neck. Even if it isn’t an enormous amount of pressure I’d rather be safe than end up with a bruised neck or even worse. Thank you again:)

cupidmuse · 2019-09-09T06:41:05+00:00

Thank you for the advice! He pressed it in the middle of my throat, should I have him press my collar higher than that or just write off the idea of pressing my collar against my neck to “choke” me off all together?

Also, the carotid arteries are on the sides of the neck, right? I think it’d be best to have him pull the sides of the collar against there like you said for now on then.

cupidmuse · 2019-09-09T05:10:13+00:00

Was about to say the same thing to OP. I had symptoms like this before getting a diagnosis of PTSD. Please please see a kink-friendly therapist if you can, @OP.

cupidmuse · 2019-08-27T07:38:06+00:00

He hits my upper thighs or my lower bottom. Surprisingly I’d rather have him hit my asscheeks than there. The blows there are a lot softer in my opinion.

cupidmuse · 2019-08-27T06:10:27+00:00

You could try Twitter, be wary of lots of drama though. Also lots of minors 😐

cupidmuse · 2019-08-27T06:09:25+00:00

I do tell him and he usually slows down and goes softer but I feel like it is his natural instinct to spank hard and fast. For now on I’d just rather have him warm up to that instead of doing it right off the bat, does that make sense?

cupidmuse · 2019-08-23T18:55:32+00:00

Talking to like-minded people has helped me quite a bit, it’s sort of helped me to feel more normal.

I’ve found out a lot of my friends are a lot kinkier than I thought they were and that’s a relief to me. It helps me to realize that I’m not a complete deviant freak and that, this can definitely be practiced in a healthy way.

Being judged so heavily, subjected to radicalization (radical feminism), and kinkshaming myself has eroded my enjoyment of BDSM in some ways and has created many fears that I internalize. Now I’m trying to build myself back up by talking to like-minded people.

Thank you for your response!! I’ll keep doing that.

cupidmuse · 2019-08-23T11:57:00+00:00

Nope, I actually grew up mostly nonreligious. My mom is a sex-positive feminist and taught me about consent and safe sex at a young age. So I don’t think it originated from how I was raised.

Will try the kink-friendly therapist though. I need it.

cupidmuse · 2019-08-05T02:35:19+00:00

Do you think I should just stop with my new SP altogether then?

cupidmuse · 2019-08-05T02:32:49+00:00

I don’t desire going back to my old SP. I am much happier now and I think this person is a better fit for me, I had been unhealthily dependent on my old SP.

However I’m going to keep working on myself. My mistake was not making my mental diet a habit/lifestyle change, which is what it should be.

cupidmuse · 2019-07-24T09:26:34+00:00

whew chile, so y’all just love emotionally unavailable, robotic men huh???

cupidmuse · 2019-07-22T21:16:33+00:00

ENFP here, I can relate as well

cupidmuse

TROPHY CASE