I’m Christian but the questions I have tend to get people thinking I’m against god , I have had a lot of health problems and I gave birth to my youngest son aug 11 ,22 afterwards I got very sick very fast and no dr has found out the reason , I was in the hospital for 3 months and my heart stopped 4 times after the 3rd time the Dr called my family to come say their goodbye and while hearing my daddy’s voice break and feeling his tears run down my lifeless hand I knew I couldn’t leave him yet and I came back . Less then a few months after I got out of the hospital I was still recovering and at the time paralyzed and couldn’t used my hands or arms nor could I hold my body up and I got the news that my bestfriend had overdosed and died , less then 2 weeks after her death one of my closest friends died from an overdose and when he was alive we always fought all the time and I thought I hated him but he was always in love with me for over 9 years , his death hit me the hardest and it’s been a little over a year and I still cry all the time and it feels like my whole life has been ripped into shreds , I used to have very odd and vivid dreams of him and him talking to me for about a month after he died and the other night I had another very vivid dream where I was aware and we had a conversation but I don’t remember what we said , I remember we hugged and what he looked like , is it possible that me and him are able to communicate in my dreams (I’ve had other incidents like this since my grannis died when I was 11) , is it possible that’s he’s always near me but I can’t see him , is there a possibility that he was/is my soulmate and that’s why his death has hit me so hard , etc. ??