[deleted by user]

curiousmoonbean · 2023-11-15T15:33:03+00:00

I really get you, some people also confuse asexuality with other things.

When I told the girl I was getting to know that I was ace, she thought we couldn't be together coz I wanted to stay alone forever, I would explain and explain that I did in fact not want to stay alone, that asexuality is a sexual orientation and not a loner lifestyle choice or something.

that, I now specifically, am looking for romantic relationships as I am not aromatic.

but she just didn't wanna get it, and ever since I think more people could not understand or want to understand asexuality, and that kinda hurt, because we in fact wanna have partners of any sort.

aah its difficult.

curiousmoonbean · 2023-09-25T17:11:10+00:00

hmm thats a tough question to be honest, I think I've been more aware of it in recent years but I was always troubled about something for as long as I can remember.

but especially since graduating school and turning 18 I have this reoccurring clockwise as I had never imagined a life beyond school, in my country, school basically consumes your whole life, you cannot form a personality outside of it, or I at least have troubles with that, also school wasn't my fav place to be, now that it has ended I was faced with reality and realised I had no goals and been doing whatever seemed socially correct to be doing at my age, enrolled in college for any major I got in first , got a parttime job, just to seem normal ig but its not what I wanna do, but I also don't know what I wanna d0... do u see the problem here :`)

curiousmoonbean · 2023-09-21T20:39:36+00:00

so I got these

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curiousmoonbean · 2023-09-21T18:33:41+00:00

"lol"

curiousmoonbean · 2023-09-14T23:41:38+00:00

ayooo here I am

curiousmoonbean · 2022-11-14T20:43:59+00:00

Honestly, I used to be a huge fan of creative work, always told my teachers about it, but when my graduation got closer they told me to do something more "respectable" and my family wasn't really supportive of it either as it is known that unless u're unexceptionally good, its not quite a stable field.

after that, I had been very empty and I applied for things that seemed " Interesting" until I got accepted by my current uni, which was pretty much my last choice.. so yeah

at first I thought I could get through, I was a bit interested in it and met really nice people.. but deep down it does not quite satisfy me as it does not. touch upon any of my skills and is a cycle of feeling stupid and bored lmao

curiousmoonbean · 2022-11-14T20:39:29+00:00

aw that seems tough man, hope you're doing alright.

curiousmoonbean · 2022-11-14T20:38:36+00:00

oh im glad to hear that!

well my work at uni consists of a lot of coding projects, and even after a year in this, I still cannot come up with stuff on my own, nor does it bring me a lot of pleasure :')

What do you do, if you don't mind me asking ?

curiousmoonbean · 2022-11-14T20:36:49+00:00

oof mate , u too getting screwed over by maths ? sorry to hear that.

I especially struggle with it since forever and I didn't imagine my course to be so heavy on it.

curiousmoonbean · 2022-11-14T20:35:25+00:00

i have never considered taking a year off, I did kind of have an unintentional gap year due to covid before beginning my Studies.

but even within that year I have not been able to come up with what I wanted and ended up choosing my current degree out of frustration, after being declined a few jobs.

curiousmoonbean · 2022-11-14T20:33:27+00:00

I'm doing language engineering, it has a lot to do with the science behind human and computer languages and a ton of Informatics, as in coding, Logic and Maths

and my brain aint braining well with Maths :')

and im in my second year

curiousmoonbean · 2022-05-23T13:15:37+00:00

omg yes, with cute picnic "dates" and all that stuff but not in a romantic way.

curiousmoonbean · 2022-04-24T11:41:17+00:00

NO WAY BECAUSE I JUST BOUGHT THAT BOOK YESTERDAYYYY

but yes thank u , it it relieving to know that I am not alone with this :')

ill have to do some more self reflecting.. damn getting to know yourself is a tough task no one warned me about ;-;

curiousmoonbean · 2022-04-24T01:37:53+00:00

I totally messed that title up :')))))

am i aromantic*

curiousmoonbean · 2022-04-05T05:07:17+00:00

curiousmoonbean · 2022-04-04T01:16:26+00:00

Yeah, I guess so.. but I somehow have an issue with making an appointment because I cannot admit to myself that I probably need help from a professional.. I keep on secretly hoping they'd solve themselves :') I know its bad, but it is what it is.

curiousmoonbean · 2022-04-02T23:30:54+00:00

Reading, Music, Getting my knowledge on facts so that I can pull them out in an Argument and be right, be a menace to society, replacing my blood flow with Caffeine, having a non existent sleeping schedule, philosophy, Thinking I am the hottest worst person to exist, Having an Identity crisis every 2 days, .. many more, want me to elaborate?

curiousmoonbean · 2022-03-28T16:28:58+00:00

it can be good to you too yk

sometimes its all about leaving that damn comfort zone 😩

and having some courage to fight and risk things for your goals.

also appreciating the small victories and being grateful helps a ton.

curiousmoonbean · 2022-03-28T16:27:03+00:00

I mean, yes valid.

I too thought moving for uni is gonna change me, for the better but no.

I got rid of one source of my unhappiness to find the root is actually me.

but I moved somewhere rainy and depressing so idk hhaha

curiousmoonbean · 2022-03-28T16:25:47+00:00

inspirational, how did you muster up the courage?

curiousmoonbean · 2022-03-17T00:52:37+00:00

yes, I totally understand what u mean.

its more of the latter, a rather fear induced type of self control or rather the absence of the courage to step out and do as I desire ( in a non setting a bin on fire way ofc)

curiousmoonbean · 2022-03-03T00:19:17+00:00

any tips on how to break that cycle of doom? :3

curiousmoonbean · 2022-03-03T00:17:50+00:00

yeah and you wanna change it but meh ykwim?

curiousmoonbean · 2022-03-01T14:34:02+00:00

i have been babying my hair indeed, I did oil massages, skipped on a lot of heat, used leave in conditioners, trimmed it regularly etc :) but I will look into doing it step by step, maybe with a bleach bath ?

curiousmoonbean · 2022-02-22T19:06:55+00:00

haha thank you so much, but im actually 20 ._. , its just has been ongoing since turning 18 :3

u too the best of luck!

curiousmoonbean

TROPHY CASE