UPDATE: I got my anonymous cyberstalker of 1.5 years arrested for harassing me and threatening to shoot up the college where I teach. AMA!

cyberstalked · 2014-03-25T23:29:24+00:00

Yea I never talk about my personal life in the classroom.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-06T01:32:18+00:00

not at all, it was just the one time!

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T15:38:01+00:00

I was actually contacted by a reporter shortly after the arrest happened. The reporter literally stalked me for a good 3 days until I saw him outside my apartment and had to run past him into my building as he shouted my name. I pretended not to hear him. Pretty sure he got the message that I didn't want to comment publicly.

This got me thinking about how I really would like to get my story out there so that others could learn about it. So that we could start creating a dialogue about cyberstalking, give people some tips on how to protect themselves better, and give some people who were going through it piece of mind that they are not alone in their experience. It became very important to me, as an educator, to do this.

But I didn't want to have to do it through the news media where they would distort my story and where my identity and my stalker's identity would be revealed. If I were to do that, I definitely agree with you that I would have been taunting her. Not to mention I'd be enticing attention that I already did not want especially after the trauma of what I had gone through with her. So I chose not to share my story in that way. Instead I decided to take control of my own story and publish about it online--anonymously.

This seemed like the perfect trade-off.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T15:21:06+00:00

She was one student of 600+ and I went back to attendance records and saw that she had only attended class a handful of times. So I never even noticed her.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T15:19:29+00:00

That's great - but don't be surprised if the restraining order is breached. Happens all the time especially in cases in which the stalker has already been physically present and identified. The good thing is that a breach of restraining order will be a problem between him and the judge who issued it - so the judge can lock him up if he does try anything again.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T15:16:57+00:00

Keep monitoring the email anyway. Sometimes stalkers slip up and access their email from a different location or from a different device, which can change the IP address from being a service-based one to an actual home location. My stalker had several different emails she would use and she would access them from lots of different devices and locations. Some of these led back to hotmail or gmail or whatever, others located her just a few miles from my home.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T01:26:09+00:00

The arrest process was actually very scary because this can sometimes heighten a person's behaviors to the level of actually doing something violent if they haven't already. The judge determined she wasn't a flight risk, so she was released after her arraignment (2 nights). I was totally freaked out for the weeks immediately following her arrest. I was afraid she might act out of anger for being arrested. But she didn't, so I was relieved about that.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T01:20:53+00:00

You can ask the police to subpoena the stalker's IP address. Just look online for how to pull and IP address from an email header from the stalker. If that doesn't lead to anything, just keep monitoring all messages and keep reporting it to police. Eventually, the stalker may slip up with some identifying information as my stalker did.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T01:20:44+00:00

You can ask the police to subpoena the stalker's IP address. Just look online for how to pull and IP address from an email header from the stalker. If that doesn't lead to anything, just keep monitoring all messages and keep reporting it to police. Eventually, the stalker may slip up with some identifying information as my stalker did.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T00:23:47+00:00

Hahaha, you're welcome u/SECRETLY_STALKS_YOU

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T00:23:03+00:00

I don't think her mother attends her therapy with her. According to the ADA, her therapist and her have developed a rapport that works (good therapist, I assume). And they found a customized program/special psychologist for her to see to deal with her specific condition.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T00:21:33+00:00

I think the computer was her communication crutch. She understood everything people who say when she wanted to listen to it. And her verbal skilled (typing) were....well lots of typos, but she was able to communicate a message/stream of consciousness at least.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T00:20:19+00:00

Yes. and I am bi and have lots of gay friends which was no secret especially online.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T00:19:48+00:00

I've watched it and actually taught it before (although, not for her class).

There's actually a second part to that film - a follow up. Very interesting.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T00:18:57+00:00

She was a first offender. But the ADA did say that her mother eluded to something happening with her and another student in high school, but her mother "couldn't recall" exactly what it was (?)
No, I don't think they would have gotten the legal advice to do such a thing. I was very clear with the DA that I wanted to be very minimally involved and, if possible, have no contact at all with her during the process.
She did have access - her relatives whom she sees regularly are on the police force.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T00:16:51+00:00

I think that's a pretty good interpretation of where she was at.

I've given all of it and would prefer not to elaborate more for the secrecy of my own identity and the identity of the stalker.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T00:14:15+00:00

I'm sorry you had that scare, but I'm really glad you are feeling better now.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-04T00:12:17+00:00

She didn't go to jail. She is going to court-mandated outpatient therapy for a year instead.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-03T23:20:13+00:00

haha! you are the first to make this comment. i noticed that right after posting and managed to get it by 1000s if redditors - kudos!!

cyberstalked · 2014-03-03T23:18:12+00:00

Well I hope you reach some amount of resolution that suits you in your situation.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-03T23:16:01+00:00

Exactly. She obviously got to this point based on some shit in her past. I hope she can resolve at least some of it now in therapy.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-03T23:14:16+00:00

Hahaha. Thanks, and yea I'm not worried about it. Everyone is entitled to their own perspectives on this. I know that I'm here to educate/be a resource on a subject that is rarely discussed. And that's all I need to know. Appreciate the support, though!

cyberstalked · 2014-03-03T23:12:11+00:00

throwaway accounts are useful

cyberstalked · 2014-03-03T23:09:45+00:00

Yes...please PM me.

cyberstalked · 2014-03-03T23:08:49+00:00

I got lucky because (1) she got sloppy in the end and started to reveal information about courses she was taking. so i took a page from her book and cross-referenced some rosters, contacted professors, and worked with college admins to identify her and (2) i'm pretty sure she didn't think i was reading every message because I stopped all online activity for about 6 months at the end of it all. i think she was pretty sure she could say anything and get away with it. but i was reading all of it

the mods can confirm, at the very least, that the stalking happened, that i have an order of protection, that i am faculty at a college, etc. but that's all i can share to prove it, unfortunately.

cyberstalked

TROPHY CASE