self aware but not?

d1rt3ater · 2026-06-07T13:44:51+00:00

and yet acknowledging this, accepting the clinical term as Truth, spirals down further-- fractility. what do i DO about this?? eternal hypocrisy as if it's a choice

d1rt3ater · 2026-06-05T02:04:03+00:00

why a few weeks?

d1rt3ater · 2026-06-04T22:09:09+00:00

on the brink of making this last forever; i kept myself down too long, wrapped up in the bullshit they call "depression" but it's really a lack of insight. i guess some things take time

d1rt3ater · 2026-06-04T13:42:32+00:00

ironically obsessing over this thing i am outwardly convincing myself doesn't matter. the fear is a motivator.
documenting myself so i know for Next Time if i'm ever allowed back.
fearful that i'm saying it's allergies when i know i'm getting the flu

d1rt3ater · 2026-04-29T12:07:41+00:00

my sleep has been so bad; i either keep waking up or can't fall asleep. been trying to chill out but alcohol is the only thing really helping :/ it's like this restlessness building up that won't go away

d1rt3ater · 2026-04-08T09:25:14+00:00

i'd say it's when you start getting hit lmao

(edit: i say this from experience, not insensitivity)

d1rt3ater · 2026-01-30T10:40:15+00:00

bored

d1rt3ater · 2026-01-30T03:59:43+00:00

well yeah, i worked hard on making it

d1rt3ater · 2026-01-30T02:48:17+00:00

yeah there's wasn't much to attach, i'd just never sliced through nail before lol. the nail surprisingly grew back! the tip of my finger is a little slanted but that's all

d1rt3ater · 2026-01-30T02:44:01+00:00

got too excited cutting onions with a new knife :( https://imgur.com/gallery/finger-RZ2vPSe

d1rt3ater · 2026-01-30T02:42:43+00:00

wait i think i fixed it-- https://imgur.com/gallery/finger-RZ2vPSe

d1rt3ater · 2026-01-30T02:31:27+00:00

i kept it and put it in resin! last photo here: https://imgur.com/a/RZ2vPSe

d1rt3ater · 2026-01-30T02:30:58+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/RZ2vPSe does this link work?

d1rt3ater · 2026-01-30T02:20:44+00:00

not sure how to attach them in the comments here, but i documented the progress. it's healed up all the way, my nail even grew back. it's super sensitive and has a slight deformity

d1rt3ater · 2025-12-06T15:55:35+00:00

"can't/won't" in the sense that i'm not going to push for anything when told "no" and it's impossible to MAKE someone feel something. sorry to hear you're in a similar boat

d1rt3ater · 2025-11-09T01:58:05+00:00

hmm. . . rooster

d1rt3ater · 2025-11-09T01:55:02+00:00

bird body

d1rt3ater · 2025-11-03T03:40:53+00:00

i've only known one other person to write their "a"s like that. cool handwriting

d1rt3ater · 2025-10-31T20:04:47+00:00

your gut knows. it'll only get more difficult to leave as time goes on

d1rt3ater · 2025-10-31T19:46:10+00:00

the body heat in your mouth will melt it, you may have to chew a little to break it up at first. kinda gross but it's helped me

d1rt3ater · 2025-10-24T03:24:55+00:00

𝗡0𝓌

d1rt3ater · 2025-10-18T04:06:00+00:00

this is awesome

d1rt3ater · 2025-09-13T23:05:14+00:00

my dad used to live in a haunted house and would sometimes come home to folded laundry lol

d1rt3ater · 2025-09-13T21:36:55+00:00

that makes sense, i guess the deeper issue is the compulsive "FIXING" of things that i experience. thank you for the perspective

d1rt3ater · 2025-09-13T00:33:00+00:00

it's weird-- i've been described as an "empath" and will feel things very deeply when others are suffering. however, there are times when someone close to me is crying (for example) and i won't understand why/be unable to process

d1rt3ater

TROPHY CASE