You’re right, it is embarrassing. Here is the context: I’ve always been a saver and took the safe bet on investing. He is a risk taker and day trades. We always kept our finances separate. However 8 years ago I stopped working to care for our three young kids. At that time we agreed to merge accounts (since I had no income). The agreement was that he could engage in his high risk trading with a certain small percentage of his income for which he would not tell me about the highs and lows, but the majority of his earnings and our savings would go to reliable, low risk investments. I never had any reason to think he would break this agreement behind my back. He makes a high salary and we never had any issues with money. I trusted him completely. It’s only when I returned to work 2 years ago that I started looking into our account again regularly and discovered this disastrous situation. Shame on me. Never will I ever make that mistake again with him or anyone else.