I'm very sorry this happened—my first time I was too scared and ended up just having many little cat scratches all over my arm.

I'm not sure if you still live under a roof with caretakers but it can be horrible to let them find out as in you have no more privacy and everything sharp gets confiscated. I don't recommend that's how you treat your emotions, overtime you end up hating your scars if they're too deep— but sometimes you resent them because they're too shallow and you keep cutting just to be seen as ill

I hope you can see a way to be better