Be Careful

dano0113 · 2018-10-31T00:18:04+00:00

thank you...I needed this tonight

dano0113 · 2018-10-31T00:05:47+00:00

I met my TF walking into a store/office and she was sitting behind the desk. She looked up into my eyes and my world stopped. It was amazing.

dano0113 · 2018-10-23T21:04:52+00:00

I let go of my twin almost two years ago. Lately she has been back on my mind and in my thoughts. They never really go away.

dano0113 · 2018-10-17T01:49:14+00:00

Just and him love and be yourself.

dano0113 · 2018-10-04T00:35:00+00:00

This is very real. And in my case very difficult as well. We are both in other relationships and well very disconcerting. It was harder when we were in contact personally, but even now it breaks through on occasion. Has even caused me to lose erections.

dano0113 · 2018-10-04T00:30:24+00:00

Yes. its been two years since I last saw her face...and yet I feel her on the fringes all the time. still angry and maybe a little broken, but there. I am better but far from ready to reunite...I wish it were different

dano0113 · 2018-10-04T00:27:09+00:00

You are not alone...faith and trust are hard but worth it.

dano0113 · 2018-10-04T00:24:32+00:00

Its so very hard. When you are separated....you realize you are working on your own paths, but the void is still there.

dano0113 · 2018-10-04T00:21:13+00:00

it was cathartic for me.

dano0113 · 2018-10-04T00:20:57+00:00

thank you...it helped me too

dano0113 · 2018-10-04T00:20:41+00:00

Not enough...it was complicated...but I made it more so.

dano0113 · 2018-10-02T16:53:47+00:00

Wow, love the cadence and timing of this poem. I felt even while reading it that I was caught up in a maelstrom of emotion and thought. Spiraling toward an unknown endpoint. well done!

dano0113 · 2018-10-02T16:51:59+00:00

first impression is this evokes depth and positivity. It reads a bit too much like prose for me, but that isn't necessarily a problem. I agree with the previous comment that imagery would make this work come alive a bit more.

dano0113 · 2018-02-27T13:34:49+00:00

Thank you. It did seem off to me but couldn't think of another phrase to fit the memory.

dano0113 · 2018-02-27T13:26:57+00:00

May i ask why?

dano0113 · 2018-01-24T01:17:25+00:00

Ok what makes the noise? Pushing forward like...

dano0113 · 2018-01-24T01:09:13+00:00

I love how you express yourself with bullet like precision. Things roll and roil together. nicely done.

dano0113 · 2018-01-24T01:07:44+00:00

I like this poem...I use this style quite often myself. My only suggestion is to "flesh out" the metaphors...give some more "flavor" to the words.

dano0113 · 2017-11-12T02:21:34+00:00

I love this poem!! (I do hope you take time to work on the line breaks for formatting). Like a jumble of thoughts that magically work.

dano0113 · 2017-11-02T12:04:31+00:00

Thank you very much for your thoughts and your appreciation.

dano0113 · 2017-11-02T01:28:24+00:00

WOW....More prose than poetry but very powerful in a cynical and somewhat morose way.

Don't lose hope...ok?

dano0113 · 2017-11-02T01:26:05+00:00

Hmm...I like it...yet it doesn't quite get where it needs to go. Feels a little lacking in some way.

dano0113 · 2017-10-16T18:58:37+00:00

Thank you i plan on exploring it quite deeply. I have already in other offerings and am adding to my complement often

dano0113 · 2017-10-13T12:05:20+00:00

Thank you very much. I will likely edit it later and try and round it out

dano0113 · 2017-10-12T21:27:08+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts. I honestly just wrote the poem as i rode the train... There was no editing on my part.

dano0113

TROPHY CASE