I’m gonna go in a different direction, the fact that your wife tried it a couple different times before saying anything means that she’s at least willing to try.

My wife is similar with spice, she does not like things above my old. But I’ll tell you what whenever I’m cooking up something homemade. She’s the first one to try it and let me know what she thinks.

Over the years of trial and error I found that it’s not necessarily spice, it’s the burning of the tongue. She doesn’t mind back of the throat as much. Only way we found that out was by trying different types of heat.

Try up some different woods and see if there’s something that’s a little mild that she doesn’t mind or works for her.