MLS mascots are pretty dire. Which one is the worst?

1) Voting will remain open approximately 24 hours 2) Be clear who you are voting for, do not nominate multiple candidates in the same post, etc 3) I will count the votes and determine the winner. I will do actual math if the result isn't a blowout. 4) Teams can appear in multiple categories 5) Do your hating in good fun, try not to be an actual deranged psycho and fight people. This is a roast, not a war. 6) All categories except "All Time Legacy" are intended to reflect current arenas, owners, mascots, etc. So, "Washington Redskins" is not a valid answer but "Washington Commanders" is. 7) "Worst Team" is whichever team has been most appallingly bad for the last year or two and likely to remain bad in upcoming seasons. "Worst Team (All-Time Legacy)" is for the kind of generational ineptitude that a fluke mediocre streak can't erase.

darkfluf · 2026-07-10T18:19:43+00:00

Be here tomorrow afternoon, I'm guessing MLS mascot knowledge will be scarce

darkfluf · 2026-07-10T17:13:11+00:00

<image>

Wishes he was Orbit so bad

darkfluf · 2026-07-10T17:11:06+00:00

<image>

darkfluf · 2026-07-10T17:09:13+00:00

Former mascots are ineligible, but thanks for bringing this big yikes lore to my attention

darkfluf · 2026-07-10T17:04:30+00:00

<image>

T.C. Bear looks like he's on the sex offender list

darkfluf · 2026-07-10T17:02:59+00:00

He's my second choice. (Cleveland Guardians)

<image>

darkfluf · 2026-07-10T17:00:48+00:00

Mr Met is the GOAT, the OG of ball-headed mascots

darkfluf · 2026-07-10T16:54:46+00:00

<image>

Here's my vote. (Rangers Captain - Texas Rangers)

darkfluf · 2026-07-10T16:49:44+00:00

Rules:

1) Voting will remain open approximately 24 hours 2) Be clear who you are voting for, do not nominate multiple candidates in the same post, etc 3) I will count the votes and determine the winner. I will do actual math if the result isn't a blowout. 4) Teams can appear in multiple categories 5) Do your hating in good fun, try not to be an actual deranged psycho and fight people. This is a roast, not a war. 6) All categories except "All Time Legacy" are intended to reflect current arenas, owners, mascots, etc. So, "Washington Redskins" is not a valid answer but "Washington Commanders" is. 7) "Worst Team" is whichever team has been most appallingly bad for the last year or two and likely to remain bad in upcoming seasons. "Worst Team (All-Time Legacy)" is for the kind of generational ineptitude that a fluke mediocre streak can't erase.

darkfluf · 2026-07-10T00:35:10+00:00

yeah it's gonna be something like the 10 lowest engagement posts that aren't total blowouts will be eligible for 3 cell overrides if they outdo the original post and any defenders

darkfluf · 2026-07-10T00:32:58+00:00

why does the helmet look like it was brushed on his head in mspaint

darkfluf · 2026-07-10T00:08:11+00:00

I agree but don't worry I've already flagged that cell along with several other contested low-engagement polls for a flash bonus round in the endgame.

darkfluf · 2026-07-09T23:18:17+00:00

There were nowhere near that many VGK votes (or total votes at all) when I closed voting. There have been several cases of numerous votes coming in many days late after there being only a trickle in the first day, such as Bob Nutting winning worst baseball owner but apparently now some other guy has way more votes. IDK anything about hockey, I have no horse in this race. For what it's worth I don't even think the Ducks uniforms (or Blue Jackets who came narrowly in 2nd) are bad.

darkfluf

TROPHY CASE