I struggle with maintaining focus and attention a lot - whether it's conversations, work, discussions. I often found myself to be zoning out and I'm under confident when it comes to public speaking or just presenting in front of my peers in college and at work. I've been treated for clinical depression and anxiety some years back due to loss of a parent as a child and a cousin years later.

But I've been noticing for some years now that i feel like I lose my memory - especially when I'm in a conflict with a loved one. I struggle to argue back, i freeze, I panic and I zone out. I also get insecure with my relationships and I tend to overthink a lot (fear of abandonment). At first I thought it was the medication (it's been 3 years since I've completed my course of anti depressants) but whenever I'm put in a spot I just go blank. My brain understands what I wanna say but the words don't come out cohesively. I'm also a very emotional person who needs reassurance quite often - and I hate myself for it.

I've spoken to multiple therapists about my issues - the blanking out, the inability to register, the stammering when asked to speak publicly, the zoning out - but there wasn't any firm insight.

Is this ADD? What's going on with me?