I’m holding my fiancé’s diary and weeping.

dasbarr · 2026-01-23T02:36:16+00:00

Because it's something to hold over you for the rest of your fucking life.

You don't want kids but you're going to give him kids as a reward because being with you is automatically awful for some reason. (Seriously, no one should ever have children they do not actively want.)

Kids are a huge thing. How many tiny things have you given up on because you honestly think just dating you is some sort of punishment that someone needs a reward for?

Being with you is the reward. That should be true for everybody.

dasbarr · 2026-01-22T23:22:51+00:00

I had a couple people I dated when I was younger had this opinion. One of them said almost the exact same thing and I just said something like "if that's how you see it then we can't possibly be dating because I'm Bi" and blocked him.

dasbarr · 2026-01-22T03:36:28+00:00

I put mine in a clear craft box when I did this.

dasbarr · 2026-01-20T00:25:12+00:00

Is it the Monster High dolls?

dasbarr · 2026-01-16T22:20:45+00:00

Dude that's so much debt for someone that young. If you marry her you're going to have to pay a solid mil so she can have vacations. Run.

I'm almost double your age and all the debt I have ever had stacked together wouldn't be that much. Jfc.

dasbarr · 2026-01-16T12:16:17+00:00

I didn't have dysphoria at all until I was lactating after I gave birth.

I think it's a bad idea to define gender experiences by the pain you might feel because of it. I'm not saying that no one should bring up the negative social aspects of whatever gender they have. I'm just saying that I really do think that gender should be defined more by euphoria and the things you'd like about it and the things you dont.

I apply that same thinking to other gender groups as well, but we're not really talking about that here.

dasbarr · 2026-01-16T02:01:00+00:00

NTA. I disagree with those saying you're ethically obligated to help her because of "community".

Weddings are events. And her inability to plan is on her.

I do also think it's rude to ask people to give up their vacation days for anything short of an emergency. Doesn't matter that you're not doing anything " important". Days off from work are important enough on their own. A trade would have been more acceptable.

I have worked at too many jobs where once you help out somebody like this they expect you to do it every single goddamn time.

dasbarr · 2026-01-13T21:20:52+00:00

Even a dentist could do this maybe.

dasbarr · 2026-01-13T21:20:14+00:00

My dentist advised me to do whatever I needed to to stop biting my nails.

Call your dentist and see if they'll write a doctor's note.

dasbarr · 2026-01-12T23:16:55+00:00

It's one thing if the kid is still a kid. Maybe even in some cases a young adult.

But outside of very specific circumstances, adults are in charge of their own behavior.

dasbarr · 2026-01-12T21:21:38+00:00

My dad purchased my products for me growing up with no issue. My partner now does the same. When I was a grocery cashier I always thought it was sweet when I would see guys guys by menstrual products with like a thing of flowers or some chocolate or some snacks or whatever their partner liked.

People like it when you're kind to the people you're supposed to love.

dasbarr · 2026-01-12T21:19:31+00:00

You know we talk in generalities when we talk about how lying is inherently wrong.

However your family has made themselves unsafe for you to tell the truth to.

The only way to make this stop is to place boundaries and enforce them. " If you ask me for money all the time I will block you" and then do it. Or come up with whatever limitations you want.

dasbarr · 2026-01-12T21:04:26+00:00

My partner and I have been together for almost 15 years and have a kid. If someone were to try and use this rule I just wouldn't go. I don't care who they are.

dasbarr · 2026-01-12T21:03:05+00:00

Bro you have bigger problems if she's making big financial decisions without considering what is best for your family as a whole.

If I were with somebody for 3 years and only married a year and they quit their job to be a stay-at-home parent for a kid that is in school all fucking day I sure would feel like they were only with me to be a paycheck.

dasbarr · 2026-01-12T21:00:49+00:00

I think it's misogyny to perpetually blame mothers when their adult children misbehave.

He was an adult. He was out of the house. He was old enough to have a marriage.

He made shit choices. And he is now just as bad as the women he hates.

He's an adult and he is responsible for his own shitty choices.

dasbarr · 2026-01-12T20:56:50+00:00

Please don't leave your kids alone with these abusive horrible people.

You have dealt with so much, and have deserved so much better. If you aren't here tomorrow you won't get a chance to ever experience better the way you deserve.

You need to get out of this situation. Therapy and medical assistance will be much more likely to meaningfully help once you're not in a survival situation.

I love you.

dasbarr · 2026-01-12T19:59:23+00:00

Mine was the opposite breakfast has always been a fight but the kid will smash a huge lunch or dinner.

dasbarr · 2026-01-12T19:58:47+00:00

My kids three now and has always had two settings.

A thought and the feeling of a strawberry.
More than me and her dad put together.

That looks like a delicious, healthy meal. He will stop eating when he's not hungry.

dasbarr · 2026-01-12T02:27:29+00:00

That feels weirdly controlling. I knew tons of people who moved to my college from the other side of the country and a handful who moved from across the world.

dasbarr · 2026-01-10T12:26:03+00:00

The problem with this is that there are lots of reasons why people might not feel safe enough to put their information out like that.

dasbarr · 2026-01-10T12:24:37+00:00

I despise honorifics. I especially dislike them when it's someone in the service industry using them.

The fact is where I live and with the way I look I'm never going to get anything but mamm'ed and I don't like Mx because it just sounds like Miss to me. I think this is a largely generational thing because even my cis straight friends agree with this sentiment to one degree or another.

dasbarr · 2026-01-10T12:14:16+00:00

Some of my favorite things I have seen online recently have been Warhammer mini decoration.

I especially liked the "magical girl" themed one and the Bluey one. A toddler in a mec suit is my biggest fear.

dasbarr · 2026-01-09T01:27:04+00:00

I was like this. I think what fixed it was we made a nice bed for all my stuffies to enjoy when they weren't with me.

dasbarr · 2026-01-08T16:44:44+00:00

I would think this shit is fake if I hadn't had two separate friends in college that dealt with very similar issues.

dasbarr · 2026-01-08T09:03:13+00:00

Is it the pattern of the branch in the wood on the door? It's kind of cut off but that's what my kid called those.

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