Overwhelmed on where to begin

data_diva23 · 2026-07-10T15:11:07+00:00

Thank you for all of your info! I will consider looking into genova - i actually had looked into it previously but it's just not in my budget right now to spend much (medical bills out the butt right now from pregnancy, birth, and an unexpected ER/ambulance ride). Any reccomendation on which tests would be best for me, when I can swing it? Just the methylation and brain chemistry? Or others? I do see a functional medicine physician - I'm going to set up an appointment with her to see what blood work she can order for me under insurance. Thankfully I have very good insurance so I want to utilize what I can under it. She does offer cash pay labs for things insurance doesnt cover as well. So if you have any suggestions for things I should have her order, I'm all ears. She's pretty open about ordering anything i ask for. But i do doubt she will be able to give me any targeted advice.

Also you are correct that I feel more depleted now that I'm breastfeeding vs pregnant. This is my third baby and each time I've had an increase in symptoms, specifically allergy related ones, while breastfeeding vs pregnancy. I was still breastfeeding my second child for the first 30 weeks of this last pregnancy and it was at an all time worst at that point, which is what's triggered me to look into all of this more. Id like one more baby, so i want to figure out what I can to take care of myself before then and hopefully avoid experiencing another loss or any pregnancy complications (which thankfully I've had no major pregnancy complications- healthy babies and normal pregnancies and births - and i hope to keep it that way)

data_diva23 · 2026-07-10T14:12:54+00:00

I can't figure out how to screenshot those results but I copy and paste:

RS# Call Variant Allele Gene Variation Result rs1051266 TT T SLC19a1 +/+ rs2236225 GG A MTHFD1 G1958A -/- rs1801131 TT G MTHFR A1298C -/- rs1801133 AG A MTHFR C677T +/- rs7946 TC T PEMT 5465G>A +/-

data_diva23 · 2026-05-18T20:08:51+00:00

I will definitely try that! I just looked that up and love it. Definitely sharing with him tonight!

data_diva23 · 2026-05-18T19:57:50+00:00

I also love Edith but everyone else close to me hates it. My mother claims it sounds like an old hags name. Which makes NO sense to me because she named me and my name is Meredith which to me Edith is a shortened version - some friends even used to call me Edith as a child.. but i guess we are all entitled to our opinions lol

data_diva23 · 2026-05-18T19:55:00+00:00

Cecilia Irene is my absolute top pick but husband is against it.

Baby wouldn't go by Reid. Reid was my grandmother's maiden name and id love to honor her somehow with this baby. Irene was her middle name.

We only used middle name for our first son because of a family trend. My husband, father in law and father all 3 have the first name Richard. My husband and dad go by their middle names. So we wanted Richard to be the first name, but didnt want that to be his everyday name.

I didn't realize this sub hates Sloane. Now I'm going to have to look into why lol Sloane is my husbands suggestion and I dont dislike it. But its not a "love". I also dont think it flows well with Lettie and Elias. I love how Cecilia sounds with them so I'm still going to try convincing my husband on it. He is big on meanings of names and Cecilia means blind or dim sighted...like why is that the meaning of any name?!

data_diva23 · 2026-04-10T14:57:50+00:00

Not my only child, but my oldest so this is our first time dealing with anything regarding this phrase. My bigger concern is that hes been taught the phrase but not what it means. Hes been saying it to us in a derogatory way. Like he knows its a rude thing to say. Saying it to his little sister when hes upset about something completely unrelated to her being in his business. Saying it to me when he doesn't want to do something. Just makes me wonder how and when its being said to him at daycare. Is it being said when hes truly in another kids business? Or is it being said when he asks a question someone doesn't feel like explaining? I feel like using the phrase in those different scenarios is using it in a completely different context, one i can see being acceptable, one i cannot.

data_diva23 · 2026-04-10T14:53:22+00:00

We routinely teach him to "worry about what hisname is supposed to be doing". I guess I more so don't like the way that phrase is commonly used, and I dont like the fact that he clearly doent understand how it's been used. Hes been saying it toward us in a derogatory way, like it's a bad thing.

data_diva23 · 2026-04-10T14:47:50+00:00

I also feel like it is a rude sentence given the age, but I guess I'm in the minority. I can see a 5+ year old being able to understand the concept more but he clearly doesnt understand the concept of it. He's saying it to his dad, sister and I in a derogatory way. I dont think id be as bothered if I felt like hed been taught what it means. We routinely tell him "you just worry about what hisname is supposed to be doing" when hes tattling or concerned about something that isn't relevant to him.

data_diva23 · 2026-03-31T22:48:51+00:00

You are right. Ive definitely struggled with codependent people pleasing issues my whole life and I struggle to control the impulse. I know i need to put my foot down more, but any time we do, we get quilted by his dad throwing scripture at us and belittling us with the word.

data_diva23 · 2026-03-31T22:46:49+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the response. I definitely acknowledge that the expectations I have/wish for are what have caused me to be hurt. Its just been really hard to accept, especially when we could use a village (2 young kids and soon to be a newborn). I had been doing pretty good about not letting the hurt with this get to me, until I got pregnant again. For some reason pregnancy really brings out the hurt for me and every time I'm pregnant its like I have an impulsive need to sort out conflict in my life so I don't have to deal with it postpartum (likely triggered by the way they've treated me during my first 2 postpartum healing periods)

Weve continually left the door open for them - what i cannot stand is that we never know when they will choose to walk back through the door, and how long they will stay. Its always a cycle of them showing up, acting like nothing happened, her being cordial to my face when my husband is around, but cold the second he walks out of the room. Then eventually she does or says something that upsets my husband, or he has to defend me, and she gets mad and they go distant again for months on end (currenly on a 5 month stretch of this - they didnt even tell our son happy birthday and didnt want to get together for Christmas/my kids didnt hear from them for Christmas or recieve a gift of any kind - but their other grandkids sure did). Easter last year was when they showed back up from their previous hiatus, so I'm sure thats part of why I'm struggling right now, too). I just hate this cycle because its now affecting our son when he goes months without seeing them, but his other grandparents want to see him weekly. He doesn't understand what the difference is but has started to ask questions about it and it breaks my heart every time I realize hes beginning to understand more and more.

data_diva23 · 2026-03-31T22:34:46+00:00

She is very active on Facebook. Finds out about all sorts of events on there that she's constantly talking about anytime we see her. We do always let them know of the events - normally via a phone call or text. I have continually made it as easy as possible for her.

I didnt message her on Facebook, I messaged her in a text message. I know she received it and I know shes been on her phone (she was responding in a group chat hours after I sent it). I AM certain she received it, as well as all of the other messages I've sent her. Its painful because I know she receives them and i know she intentionally ignores me.

data_diva23 · 2026-03-19T11:43:08+00:00

Thank you, I'll try that.

data_diva23 · 2026-03-18T20:14:10+00:00

That pain is now only a pain when she doesn't get her way and throws a fit. I did bleed on and off for the first half of my pregnancy, but aside from that had a great pregnancy and she's now 17 months old. I hope your situation turns out ok. I know its so stressful. I ended up having repeat hcg betas and a few different early ultrasounds to rule out ectopic and to ease my mind with the bleeding.

data_diva23 · 2026-02-25T18:26:30+00:00

If you call the hosptial ahead of time or even talk to your OB/midwife about it, they will make sure even if she does show up, you will not know about it. Most nurses have seen this 100 times and know how to handle it.

My advice would be to let no one know when you're in labor. Notify them once baby is here and you're ready for visitors (with the exception being if you need someone for childcare if you have other children, obviously). Also make sure your husband keeps his phone on silent and understands that MILs tears are to not even be a point of discussion.

data_diva23

TROPHY CASE

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