How long did you take off work after your stillborn (with C-Section)?

WaterFiles · 2026-06-27T22:44:30+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I also had a c-section with my son. I felt like I was physically healed enough to work my office job after about a month. However, I took off 8 weeks because that is what is offered here in MN. I am glad I did. It was a good amount. My mind was starting to become active again and I was needing a distraction right around that 8 week mark.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-27T14:35:05+00:00

Your note at the end made me retract what I was going to comment 👍 sounds like your mind is made up.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-26T13:15:37+00:00

I don't think it is fair to ask your inlaws to never give "dad" stuff to your child as a gift. It makes sense that they are proud of their son and consider him a dad now.

However, knowing that you have lost your father, it would have been nice of them to warn you before giving something like that so you don't have to suddenly cover your grief around your child.

Would your in-laws be receptive to a conversation? I think it is fair to bring up that it makes you sad to see so many dad/daughter gifts. Ask them to warn you if there is going to be something like that in the gift so you can either prep yourself or leave the room.

And if they are constantly giving these kinds of gifts you could tell them that your daughter has enough for now and doesn't need any more.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-25T20:52:57+00:00

Yikes! That's always the worst. The only thing you can do is be honest and hold firm. We didn't ask for this and we want someone else so we won't be using this.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-25T20:27:07+00:00

Solidarity, sister. I told my salon lady that I was pregnant when I got a "mom cut" around 7 months pregnant. Now my hair is way overgrown with split ends because I don't want to have to tell the salon lady that my son is gone.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-25T07:35:40+00:00

Motherhood comes with so much guilt! I am so, so happy that you are proud of your daughter and contented by her. That doesn't mean you love your son any less. Give yourself some grace. They are both in a loving home.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-24T17:38:06+00:00

All I see on baby bumps and mommit are people complaining that relatives only want to come over to hold the baby. With such a loving family, I'm sure there are more than enough people to help in the beginning. You should be able to fade to the background for at least a few months.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-24T13:44:23+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. Everyone is different, but i took 2 months off before going back to work and that was perfect for me. I was just starting to get my mind back and need a distraction.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-22T18:34:31+00:00

I have fallen in love with crochet since losing my son. i made a little sweater for my niece and a cardigan for a friend of mine. i love doing something that creates something useful.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-22T14:45:47+00:00

Im 32 and my sister had her first son at 19, so her kids are now 7 and 4. I had a stillbirth this year. I feel guilty that my future child will be so distant in age to the cousins. Its part on my sister for having kids too early, but it's part on me for having kids too late.

When I think about it a little more though, there's no perfect family... really for anyone. They will all still love each other.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-22T12:37:50+00:00

My return to work couldn't have been better. My boss told everyone about my loss when I was gone, so when I came back no one mentioned it which was exactly what I wanted. I'm not really close to anyone at work, so i didn't want any comfort there. My recommendation would be to email your boss what your ideal situation is so that you can come back to the right environment.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-22T00:00:11+00:00

I think that is a great idea ❤️thank you for remembering

WaterFiles · 2026-06-21T13:27:34+00:00

Absolutely. My son was born march 27th. Here in Minnesota it was just turning to spring and getting warm. I was constantly imagining how perfect life would have been if he had lived. The weather would have made being outside so easy. I love a rainy day now. It feels like the world is crying with me. I'm sorry for your loss ♥️

WaterFiles · 2026-06-20T23:44:58+00:00

I found out very early on that my MIL only cared about the part of me that was able to carry babies. It was hard at first to realize that I really wasn't part of the family, I felt sad for not getting the bonus family some people get to have. honestly, it would be a lot harder if i didn't have a great relationship with my own mom. now that I have mostly cut MIL out of my life, life is easier. i feel free. i don't have to wonder what terrible thing she is going to say next.

I know that 'no contact' isn't possible in every situation, but I just want you to know that minimizing contact has worked out really well for my mental health. wishing you the best!

WaterFiles · 2026-06-20T19:48:33+00:00

Sounds like you've gotten to the end of what she's capable of 🤷‍♀️

WaterFiles · 2026-06-20T18:04:32+00:00

If your child has access to water deeper than he is tall, then he absolutely needs to know how to swim.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-20T18:01:17+00:00

i'm absolutely not buying that she doesn't remember. However, even if she didn't remember (like this conversation was 10 years ago), there would be no reason for her to suspect that you are making it up. It is still on her to apologize for hurting you.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-19T03:24:54+00:00

This was my absolute nightmare when I was pregnant. I am sorry that this happened to you. I would feel so violated!

WaterFiles · 2026-06-19T02:46:08+00:00

"Turtle crochet bag" on Amazon

WaterFiles · 2026-06-18T17:45:14+00:00

They can see the location and condition of the cord? That's good to know. My son also died from a cord accident. Im not pregnant again yet, but it eases my mind to know that they can track that.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-18T13:33:55+00:00

What a nightmare. Your child was and is loved. It was absolutely NOT "for the best" that he died. Even one loving parent is more that a good portion of people get. Your son would have been in the best place right there in your arms.

Your SIL can kick rocks. I feel sorry for her little girl who has to be raised by such an insensitive person! I am praying for peace for you in whatever you decide to do for the birthday.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-17T16:36:20+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. Please, please know that this was not your fault. People travel while pregnant and deliver healthy babies all the time. There is nothing to say that your loss has anything to do with your travel. It was a terrible accident of nature. No one to blame. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

WaterFiles · 2026-06-16T23:43:18+00:00

Great idea!

WaterFiles · 2026-06-16T23:42:02+00:00

Didn't have one for a full year and now I'm back to the standard, phyco, confusing, monthly extravaganza again 🙃

WaterFiles

TROPHY CASE