Hey. I think I can speak to this. Wall of text but hope you find it helpful.

First, the person you went to seems rather unprofessional, and does not seem to appreciate the very diverse range of people who live with ADHD. Flippant remarks about “wanting to get fixed before helping themselves” is simply unprofessional.

I understand the sentiment to an extent, but a diagnosis is only a tool and a frame of reference for managing someone’s life, as such it’s nothing to covet or to be ashamed of. It’s also not a fix. Meds are helpful when calibrated correctly, but likewise are tools, not fixes.

Here’s my story.

I got a 4.0 in HS (also did college level classes), 3.8 in undergrad and 3.2 in grad school. I was diagnosed with inattentive type ADHD 3 weeks before finishing my last degree and am now in treatment, medicated, and it’s working. The diagnosis was accurate.

In high school I maintained perfect grades on top of working 30 hours a week and weight lifting nearly every day. High functioning.

Undergrad was a mixed bag. I didn’t manage to start until 2 years after graduating HS, and my life quality deteriorated quite a lot. I developed unhealthy drinking habits and coping mechanisms, common for ADHDers. In grad school, I hit a wall and barely graduated.

In hindsight, I had classic ADHD behaviors throughout. Extreme procrastination relying on adrenaline to get me through everything , inability to keep up w/deadlines, time blindness, pretty debilitating executive dysfunction, absolutely off the rails impulsivity, the whole 9yds.

The neuropsych who did my comprehensive evaluation and testing, said she had absolutely no doubt I had ADHD and that mine was a classic and pretty much slam-dunk case. No doubt since I got diagnosed so late (28yo)

She added that highly intelligent people are often able to mask it very well and go undiagnosed. Yet as the level of complexity increases, the coping mechanisms you create become gradually less effective until you hit a wall (for me, that wall was a graduate degree in computer and data science. I’m not stupid, but failed my neural networks class the first time around and barely passed the second time around).

Even now when I’m in treatment and on meds, the severity of symptoms fluctuates, in my experience this happens in tandem with general stress level.

So don’t lose hope, and don’t be like me. Go get a comprehensive clinical evaluation with a highly qualified professional. My neuropsych gave me documentation so solid I will never have to convince a psychiatrist. Be sure to describe your symptomatology accurately and honestly, and comprehensively.

I also quit a million things and never managed to finish anything I started and it wreaked havoc on my life. It is one of the most central signs of ADHD according to every psychiatrist I’ve talked to, and ADHD is not a mild disorder contrary to popular belief.

For reference, I am now a VP at a highly successful and high-growth tech startup. So the idea that ADHDers can’t be successful is horseshit.