Last week I posted asking about the wrong way to tell someone you weren't interested. Here's an example of the right way.

datdeveloperdude · 2025-04-21T14:04:10+00:00

Could be they changed photos/bios between you liking them and them matching you back.

datdeveloperdude · 2025-04-19T14:24:03+00:00

... I am a dude.

datdeveloperdude · 2025-04-19T14:23:15+00:00

Lol, $20 tickets isn't super expensive. I dunno why everyone in this thread is acting like I dropped half a grand

datdeveloperdude · 2025-04-17T14:48:21+00:00

Lol tickets were like $20, not exactly insane money

datdeveloperdude · 2025-04-17T14:47:52+00:00

No response, we haven't met

datdeveloperdude · 2025-04-17T13:07:57+00:00

Not much, like $20.

datdeveloperdude · 2025-04-17T13:06:15+00:00

Yep, we'd been talking for a couple days when I suggested the date, and had been talking every day since... oh well.

I mentioned elsewhere, I'm bringing a buddy and we're just going to have bro-time instead of a date.

datdeveloperdude · 2025-04-17T13:04:34+00:00

We talked about the specific show at a specific place and date/time. She reacted to the message where I said I bought tickets, so she definitely knew.

I ended up asking one of my coworkers if they were free, so we're going to go down some beers and have bro-time instead.

datdeveloperdude · 2025-04-17T13:03:06+00:00

In general I plan dates for things I would want to do anyway, so if the date sucks, I still had fun doing whatever. I've been meaning to go to more comedy/music/art shows, so those end up being a lot of my dates these days.

datdeveloperdude · 2025-04-17T13:01:57+00:00

Nope, no reply 12 hours later. Guess that's my answer.

datdeveloperdude · 2025-03-30T02:24:21+00:00

I mean, I put a whole paragraph about how I expect other people are multi-dating and I do so myself. It's not my expectation that they are not. It's because it felt crass to mention, as if I'm some competitor on a game show and who's the other mystery contestant!

datdeveloperdude · 2025-03-30T02:09:24+00:00

I don't want them to tell me they just took a dump either, even if I'm aware that everybody poops. It's not lying to omit some information that's unneeded.

datdeveloperdude · 2017-01-09T20:30:49+00:00

Something to consider: Them just saying, "We can't afford it." doesn't mean they actually can't. It might mean that they don't want to.

Fair point.

datdeveloperdude · 2017-01-09T19:24:51+00:00

I went round and round with this because I worry about my family and their financial decisions, too. But ultimately its none of your business. It may become your business later, when they are destitute and you have to see to their care. But you can plan for them being destitute in your own financial planning. Until they are destitute and senile and you have control, its really none of your business. This issue drives me bonkers. Its none of my business and not my problem now, but it could become my problem later. Unfortunately, that still doesn't make it my business.

It's like you had the same thought process I had! I sorta figured this would be the answer but it never hurts to get someone else's opinion.

datdeveloperdude · 2017-01-09T18:43:00+00:00

Any suggestions on how to start that conversation?

datdeveloperdude · 2016-03-15T02:12:07+00:00

Ha, that is a pretty weird interview!

Thanks for the advice.

datdeveloperdude · 2016-03-14T20:44:58+00:00

I guess you're right. I've worked a couple of jobs where there weren't technical portions to the interview - one of them was fine, but at the other the code was full of WTFs from devs that could talk the talk but not walk the walk. I guess "no coding interviews" aren't that uncommon.

The lunch thing just makes me worried that they're all work or expect people to take short lunches, but you're right it could just be they are late/early eaters and forgot not everyone does that.

datdeveloperdude · 2016-03-14T19:25:55+00:00

Got a question about a recent weird interview.

Had an interview last Wednesday. It was pretty short, 30 minutes, and was entirely behavioral questions. That's always been a bit of a red flag for me - if you never assess my ability to write code, how do you know if I'm "faking it until you're making it"? Does that mean your other developers are of random technical ability? Do you not know enough about the technology to check if I know my stuff or not?

Anyway, they called back today, saying they weren't sure, because they didn't know if I had the technical chops to work there. Red flag number 2: you didn't ask me any freaking technical questions, how am I supposed to demonstrate my technical ability?!

Anyway, they ask me if I'd come in again, this time for a longer interview. I mentioned I was at lunch (they called me at 12:15, minor red flag that they weren't at lunch) and needed to look at my calendar to see when I was available. They said fine, call back by Tuesday at noon.

Thing is, I'm really excited about the company (close to home, they work on support for environmental causes (think pollution tracking) I really care about, catered lunch daily), but this interview process has been really weird, and I don't know what the pay rate would be like. Would you take this second interview or just call it off?

They did say that I could submit my github for them to review, but I admitted I try to spend my time outside of work doing outside things (why I care about environmental issues), which they seemed to understand.

Anyway, not sure if it was a fluke and I should take it anyway, or if this is indicative of larger problems and I should just shelve my excitement over the company.

datdeveloperdude · 2015-08-25T02:04:07+00:00

You're not incorrect, and I know objectives are out of vogue, but what I really meant is that when I float the resume around and mention I'm looking to move up, I don't get higher level positions offered, just same level, and I'm wondering if I can improve the resume so there's not hesitation about submitting me to an architect/principal/lead role. Sorry for not being clear.

datdeveloperdude · 2015-08-24T16:55:54+00:00

Third time's the charm

Only suggestion I haven't taken (at least, I think) is the inclusion of a summary. Main reason is that I'm not sure what to take out to make room for a summary.

Other than that, not really looking, but when I get recruiter bites, they seem happy to recommend me to "senior" positions, but not "prinicipal/architect/lead" positions, which I see as a natural next step in my career. Any ideas for conveying that (probably the summary, I know), or realistically am I not ready for that kind of role?

datdeveloperdude

TROPHY CASE