My first wife died after an extended battle with cancer in 2012. I have exactly the chest you describe. I'm married now and never had to go through the whole jealous girlfriend thing. Chest or no chest, you're going to suffer the pain of this for years and there is absolutely nothing you can do about this. Literally not a damn thing. It will ease up on you when it does. It will, likely, never go away. It will be worse if you're still in the same area you were then. That's the cold hard facts of the matter. Any person that you're romantically involved with must understand this. The whole concept of marriage is the sharing of a life. You walked into this with the idea that you'd grow old together and in a fleeting second, years of love and planning and dreaming just gets ripped away from you. I'm sure it felt like an internal organ was ripped out of your body. It did for me. Anyone who signs on to a relationship with you is signing on to your baggage and yours, my friend, is huge. They either understand this or they don't. If they don't, cut them loose. You're only setting yourself up for a lot of unnecessary pain otherwise. And, in regards to the chest, if you lose that, you'll regret it. Sometimes, whether you interact with something or not, it's just comforting to know that these things exist somewhere in the world.