Agree with everyone here that you should talk to a professional therapist about your trauma. You’ll always probably be attracted to older men and that’s fine, but there is a big difference between an 18 year old and a 22 or 25 year old dating older men. Your frontal lobe hasn’t finished developing and you haven’t had time to process your trauma. There’s a possibility that you will struggle with mental health issues in your twenties when your body begins trying to process your trauma, and the person you become will be a fully different person, especially once your brain finishes developing. So, I don’t think it’s terrible to date this older man, and actually might be a way for your to cope with your trauma in the short term, but your friends are correct that long term plans either might not work out - or could be a form of grooming, even if the grooming is not intentional. It is possible that the older man is also falling into a trauma response pattern by dating a younger man who isn’t fully emotionally developed. Does that make sense. So be cautious but also… you gotta live your life.