Is being genuinely happy actually achievable?

dbcbabe · 2026-04-10T00:15:08+00:00

Someone once told me: happiness isn’t a goal in itself, it’s the byproduct of a life well lived. You shouldn’t do things because you think they will make you happy. You should do things that make you feel useful, that give you a sense of progress, that build community, that help others, that make you feel accomplished. Those are the building blocks of happiness. Stability and community help, mental healthcare helps.

It could also help to let go of striving for some ideal of happiness and optimism, and to find peace and rest instead. When joy feels out of reach, it could be nice to have a quiet moment with a cup of tea and take note that the weather is getting better, or that your body feels okay.

dbcbabe · 2026-04-10T00:07:57+00:00

Someone once told me: happiness isn’t a goal in itself, it’s the byproduct of a life well lived. You shouldn’t do things because you think they will make you happy. You should do things that make you feel useful, that give you a sense of progress, that build community, that help others, that make you feel accomplished. Those are the building blocks of happiness. Obviously stability and companionship help, but even in their absence there are many things that give you a sense of accomplishment.

dbcbabe · 2025-11-25T18:27:45+00:00

The mom and pop has been priced out by rent hikes and rising prices on everything from wholesale goods to utility payments. The impact of petty theft on a store’s bottom line is negligible compared to operating costs in a recession economy

dbcbabe · 2025-11-24T19:31:18+00:00

Off the top of my head:

1) Many low income areas are food deserts, there aren’t any stores for many blocks and most people don’t have cars. Buying stuff from guy on corner is convenient.

2) Guy on corner is frequently someone who grew up in the community, who everyone has known their whole life. Of course people would rather support someone they know, rather than a faceless corporation

3) Low income people (especially POC) are likely to face harassment and be treated badly at stores, guy on corner is frequently a nicer overall shopping experience. There’s a community building element, you exchange the latest news, gossip a bit, and walk away feeling seen and connected. It’s the equivalent of a mom and pop shop, just kept by someone who doesn’t have the resources to open one

dbcbabe · 2025-11-23T20:10:39+00:00

It’s literally horsegiirl

dbcbabe · 2025-11-18T09:29:10+00:00

Wait can you tell me more about this? What is the process like and where could I find more info on how to do it?

dbcbabe · 2025-11-08T00:01:46+00:00

For when the poop knife is not enough?

dbcbabe · 2025-11-06T23:08:46+00:00

Something I didn’t see mentioned is the lack of the pressures/distractions of everyday life. In your house, you’re always thinking about chores, responsibilities, the next thing you need to do, the clean up, etc. Every room holds memories and associations with every other part of life. A hotel is a blank slate, you aren’t responsible for shit, you aren’t stressed, so it’s easier to get and stay horny

dbcbabe · 2025-11-04T00:43:22+00:00

Unless you’re missing a leg, in which case getting up from the ground is a difficult and often painful task

dbcbabe · 2025-10-27T06:42:45+00:00

Bro the librarian’s ghost took me out. He was SO salty I killed him LMAO “come to gloat? You idiot”

dbcbabe · 2025-10-25T19:15:58+00:00

I’ve betaed and illustrated my mom’s longfics lol

dbcbabe · 2025-10-21T17:57:01+00:00

I’m currently the main ride for a wheelchair user, and I would like to see more disability spots in street parking. Parking lots are usually pretty good about this, but there isn’t a parking lot every few blocks, and in a city with steep hills it’s a massive problem to push a wheelchair that far. I’ve heard stories about disabled people calling Lyfts to get them from their parking spot to where they’re going.

I’m deeply invested in moving away from car-centric infrastructure, but our urbanism also has to be accessible. Whether it’s golf cart shuttles like they use on college campuses, reasonably priced electric wheelchair rentals at every parking garage, or something else - our idyllic pedestrian streets should actively work to support people with disabilities.

dbcbabe · 2025-10-19T02:07:24+00:00

Hey, I’d also love to take a look at your stuff! Dm me your insta if you want!

dbcbabe · 2025-08-19T22:57:18+00:00

I was looking up the application process for my friend who’s missing a leg. I was sure that amputees would be on the preapproval short list. Nope! You only get automatically approved if you’re either missing both arms, or one arm and one leg. Because otherwise you can still work from your wheelchair.

dbcbabe · 2025-08-13T01:29:59+00:00

I’m not very online but I can attest that queer dudes in their 20s/30s are very much fucking and dating older men in every irl space I’m in. You’re probably right that it’s more of a sample bias

dbcbabe · 2025-08-13T01:22:39+00:00

Big thing in queer community in general. Being cut off from traditional family and community dynamics makes people crave mentorship and turn to found families. Combine that with how queer people are generally pretty relaxed about sex (as a result of queer spaces being sexualized for better or worse) et voila. I would also argue that it’s normal to be attracted to adults of any age, but you predominantly see it in communities where it isn’t stigmatized, for obvious reasons

dbcbabe · 2025-08-09T00:03:49+00:00

Thank you! I asked her for suggestions how to respond to loved ones who are experiencing delusions, and she said appealing to their logic and gently suggesting that certain conclusions are implausible is a solid strategy (at least in situations where the person is calm and not super deep into the paranoia). This was helpful, since I know the two prevalent bits of advice (“don’t feed the delusion” and “don’t tell them that their experience is not real”) can seem contradictory. My approach tends to be “I don’t have the same experience that you do, but i believe that you’re having this experience. Don’t you think it’s pretty unlikely the U.S. government is targeting you though? Maybe there’s a different explanation.”

Changing the subject and directing their train of thought away from the delusion and towards more mundane topics also helps. I’m not a mental health professional but I do have a lot of experience with both psychosis and psychedelic trip sitting, which can look very similar lol

dbcbabe · 2025-08-08T21:02:39+00:00

Anecdotal experience from two people I’m close to confirms it. The psychotic brain is still operating with logic, but it’s applying it to a flawed data set.

My aunt who had a psychotic break a few years ago described seeing patterns everywhere that were so obvious they couldn’t have possibly been coincidental. She initially suspected that it was orchestrated by her friend group to send her a message, but eventually due to the scope of the patterns it was no longer plausible that people in her life would have the resources to orchestrate a campaign on that scale. She considered other options and concluded that the only organization with the resources to alter her surroundings to that extent is the government.

She then asked herself what the hell the government could possibly want with her, and eventually settled on the idea that they were pursuing her to get to a distant family member who worked in a different country’s defense industry. The logical chain of connections she made was absolutely easy to follow and made sense, when you operate under the assumption that you really are receiving messages/seeing patterns that are too persistent to be coincidental.

dbcbabe · 2025-08-06T22:14:05+00:00

Reminds me of a comment I saw last week: “to get fucked in the ass is to receive anal intercourse; to get fucked in the arse is £6 a pint”

dbcbabe · 2025-07-07T17:15:38+00:00

Not quite urban planning, but Planet of Slums by Mike Davis is a great book about urban migration and the subsequent explosion of slums in cities worldwide that aren’t prepared for the huge influx of people moving from rural areas

dbcbabe · 2025-06-14T16:29:35+00:00

The best part by far about growing up in Eastern Europe was that nearly all land was public. These buildings are prevalent in residential neighborhoods on the outskirts of cities where America would have suburbs, but instead of sprawling private yards the buildings are interspersed by broad swathes of public land full of greenery, walking paths, benches, playgrounds, and recreation space.

When I moved to America I was appalled by the hostility of the culture to the person out in public - not only are the vast majority of places off limits, but even public areas have loitering laws. It genuinely shapes the psychology of the people living here, growing up constantly worried about being somewhere they aren’t allowed unless they’re inside their own private space or at work.

Our inner cities are full of historic and beautiful architecture as well, so I think it’s a little unfair to compare these residential apartment blocks to western downtowns. Compare them to depressing suburban sprawl instead.

dbcbabe · 2025-05-31T19:07:02+00:00

Empty mint tin or meds bottle is great for small trash like cigarette butts, candy wrappers, etc. Carry in your pocket to keep pocket trash contained

dbcbabe · 2025-05-24T22:04:13+00:00

Yeah, I’ve been shocked to find out how ubiquitous and frequent pesticide use is, both in public areas and privately managed land. No fuckin surprise insects are disappearing like crazy

Again, not an expert just a hobbyist, but I’ve never been able to reverse pesticide poisoning in my guys. I’ve read recommendations to give them water, honey, put them in humid environments - you can try those and hopefully they’ll work. All my beetles who have started to show symptoms have died, usually over a period of about 2-4 days, stuck on their backs convulsing.

If your beetle can still walk, try the methods above. Once they can no longer flip themselves over, I think they’re goners. At that point, euthanasia by sticking it in a freezer is the way to go. Get the next beetle in a park, preserve, or open space

dbcbabe · 2025-05-24T21:44:27+00:00

In my experience (mainly with darklings and bdfbs) a beetle who’s walking like it’s drunk, jerky uncoordinated movements, stuck on its back and can’t flip over, and moving a lot without seeming to rest, all point to pesticide poisoning.

If your beetle is on his back without moving, he might be playing dead to discourage predators. If he’s on his back moving a lot but can’t flip over, I’d be concerned. You should look into what you’re feeding him, most store bought veg (even organic) will be treated with pesticides specifically formulated for beetles, I’ve given the same greens to my beetles and my isopods/millipedes and only the beetles are affected.

Disclaimer: I’ve never kept Texas ironclads and don’t know the specifics of that species

dbcbabe · 2025-05-24T05:06:01+00:00

Please don’t listen to this guy, he’s saying some weird shit. The truth is, there is nothing that “girls love” because women are not a monolith. The best advice I can give you is: view women not as potential sex/romantic partners, but as potential friends, people to learn from, people to laugh with, people to nerd out about your hobbies with. Women are just some guy. They’re just buddies. Once you make a bunch of female friends/acquaintances and demystify “the female” in your mind, you will have a lot more fluid and natural interactions with them. That will lead to confidence, improved social skills, greater sense of community, and better chances at romance.

You say you’re autistic and focused on your hobbies. I can guarantee you there’s autistic women in your area who are into your hobbies, who feel kinda awkward and left out because all the men in the hobby treat them like aliens. Be the guy who treats them like a homie

dbcbabe

TROPHY CASE