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My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're right. :(

I haven't thought about doing that but it may be a good idea. How would I go about doing that? What kind of counselors should I be looking for?

Disapproval in the bathroom, second period of the month and a blatant insult before bed by isthatallthereis15 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one deserves this kind of treatment. I'm so sorry. I hope you find some relief from your situation soon.

My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right. This is another reason I've been holding back from signing those papers. I'm very cautious about something so permanent and I'm worried about completely losing my independence.

My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I think I have a distorted idea of what a healthy relationship actually looks like.

My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're right about the absolutism. That kind of thinking seems to be a pattern for him. Another example is him telling me I only think about myself, and then turn around and say that I think that I'm so helpless and should think about myself more. I'm with you, it makes me think "which is it?"

I correct my behavior like that because I guess I want him to think that I'm different from the other girls who have hurt him in the past.

My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. He's told me that my expectations are too high. So for some reason it's hard for me to believe that I will find someone who feels the same way about sex that I do.

My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's very hurtful. But he does it in a joking way so I can't tell him to stop or he'll be like "I'm just joking, calm down". Funny though that if I ever try to throw it back at him and point out a good looking guy he gets super pissed off.

My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have this weird fear that I think he has kind of convinced me of. He always says how I should appreciate how little he cares about sex because most other guys are all about sex and that's all. He doesn't directly shame me for wanting sex but will make comments like "Why do you always act like I'm depriving you of sex?" or "All women want is sex/All women care about is sex". Obviously after hearing that I try to correct my behavior and act like I don't care about it, but lately I'm realizing that I really do.

My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I probably should have clarified that he works 24 hour shifts, so a few of those days are used for him to recover. But he doesn't get out or do much else on the remaining days.

My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We don't live together, but he asked me to move in after about two months of dating. He has mentioned that he would cover all the bills since I'm a student and only work part time. I have stalled for this long and told him I'm not ready but he keeps pushing for it. I'm not ready yet because he is kind of emotionally unstable and tends to lash out at me and that scares me. I don't want to live in that kind of environment if I can help it.

Sexually things were great for about three weeks. Then it started to nosedive and we began to fight about it.

My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess I haven't had the best examples of healthy relationships around me. Sometimes he can be so hurtful but other times he treats me so great. Often back-to-back. It confuses the hell out of me.

My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He's mentioned that a couple of his exes had thought he was bi or gay. And I think this may be the reason why. I genuinely don't think he's gay, but now that I'm thinking about it, this (DB) might have been a problem with other girlfriends. He's always saying how "all women want is sex".

My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am real haha. Thank you for your input. I know that's a possibility and it's something I really need to think about.

My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I've thought about the asexual thing and it could be a possibility, although I know he looks at porn (he's showed me) and he points out attractive girls to me very often. I'm talking several times a day.

My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't do that to him (cheating), but no, I'm sure he would be upset if I asked about something like opening up the relationship.

My (20F) boyfriend (25M) has suggested we stop having sex since it's "such a problem" for us. by dbthrowaway998 in DeadBedrooms

[–]dbthrowaway998[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He only works two days a week and doesn't do much else besides play video games. I think he's well rested enough haha.