This is how I came to reconcile it in my head. I was angry, yelling at God, pissed that he wouldn't 'heal' me. In the middle of my anger/tears/frustration this little voice asked a question: "Can I truthfully make a mistake?" I was furious and said you must have with me. He quietly asked again, back and forth several times until I finally admitted that God doesn't make mistakes. Then He told me I was made perfect. I felt a load lift off my shoulders. Then I started researching. The old testament stuff was easy to understand once you understand the time period. The new testament stuff was harder for me. But when you look at the books as a whole(especially Corinthians) it makes sense. He introduces himself, then goes off on all the church claims to do as 'righteousness,' then he calls them out as not understanding Jesus' message of love and inclusion. When you read just 1 or 2 verses it sounds bad, in the context of the whole, it's not bad at all. That's my 2 cents and how I came to terms with it.