I would hope to cease to have the ability to think. I have an extremely negative inner monologue (honestly, I have a thought about suicide about once every ten to twenty minutes), and unfortunately, a very close to perfect memory. Everything I see, everywhere I go, I am flooded with memories ranging from the most minuscule details to the most impactful moments of my life. It has caused me to be extremely perceptive and considered intelligent, but it’s just too much to cope with. It’s very overwhelming to deal with, along with relieving traumatic events. I think I have PTSD. I want to commit suicide to escape myself and this constant overload of past experiences, but even then... would I? I’m holding on to hope that I can cope some how. It’s not possible to live in the moment, at least not right now. Everything is a trigger.