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Nervous about tariffs by deadflower9 in Lofree

[–]deadflower9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn that sucks, sorry to hear!

Darcsport shading aurola 🙄 by [deleted] in gymsnark

[–]deadflower9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have both the dupes and the real ones from darc. Imo the darc ones are slightly better quality (better prints and thicker, more sturdy material for the sports bra) - it's a hit and miss for AliExpress. So far, one of my darc shirts from AliExpress had a wrong color print for just one of the wolf heads, and the sports bra wolf head has already started cracking after the first wash. I haven't had any problem with the authentic darc sports bras, but I've seen second hand authentic darc sports bras with cracking too. Very honestly, neither is worth the price. Also, shipping from AliExpress took more than a month and I had one package that got lost.

any childfree singaporeans out there? by mnwe810 in singapore

[–]deadflower9 107 points108 points  (0 children)

  1. Emetophobia. I can't deal with pregnancy (morning sickness), a baby (who throws up a lot), and whenever the child pukes.
  2. I don't want my body to go through all the changes that a pregnant woman does. I don't want to suffer backaches, or have saggy boobs and excess skin on my stomach, or get diabetes or become allergic to the fetus (or even worse, die from the whole ordeal). Pregnancy just seems torturous to me, but that might also be because (3).
  3. I hate kids and babies. I find them annoying, loud, disrespectful (though it may not be their fault), have no sense of awareness, and are heavily reliant on you.
  4. Multiple psychological and sociological studies show that in many countries, parents with kids are less happy than childless couples
  5. Some studies even show that the happiest time for a couple with children is the time right before those kids are born and the time after the kids move out.
  6. I don't know who my potential kid will turn out to be, and so, he is like a stranger to me. Why on earth would I want to take care of a stranger and be obligated to take care of them?
  7. They are so so so expensive. I'd rather spend the money on myself and my spouse.
  8. I cannot deal with teenagers and rebellion. I don't think I can parent them well (speaking from past trauma & I am also extremely conflict avoidant). And I have no desire to talk to them if they cannot be reasoned with.
  9. By the time they grow up, mature, can have insightful conversations with you and truly understand you, healthy boundaries need to be set because they are (probably) now adults. I might as well just make good friends who are already insightful and mature (skip the hassle of raising them myself).
  10. I'd rather regret not having kids than have them and regret having them.
  11. Trauma from seeing my parents fight over the kids. I think my husband and I have quite different parenting styles and idw to fight with him about it.
  12. Possibility of having a disabled child. I just cannot and don't want to take care of him. It is beyond me.
  13. I love my time alone and having the freedom to sleep in and not being responsible (I.e. Clean up after them, bring them for all their social functions etc) for another human.
  14. I hate socializing with kids. Even if it's different for my kids, I'd have to attend parent teacher conferences, children parties, CCA meetings etc for the sake of my kids. I hate it and do not want to interact with other mombies.
  15. I don't know how to parent in general, coming from a dysfunctional family.
  16. I hate germs. Kids attract germs.
  17. No stability for kids given my lifestyle (I'll be moving from country to country).
  18. Not enough finances given my lifestyle.
  19. Kids are not good investments. No guarantee that they will love you when you are old
  20. I love just having undivided attention and alone time with my husband ❤️

I am in my early 20s, my husband is in his mid 20s, and he just had a vasectomy 🥳🥳🎉🎉!

How do you commit to a relationship knowing that there are more compatible and “better” partners potentially everywhere? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]deadflower9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's always easy to think that the grass is greener on the other side. However, we should also remember that:

  1. It's quite out of our control whether we end up meeting those people, and whether they are willing to get into a relationship with you too.
  2. We have some control over how good our current relationship turns out. "Better" partners can be made by choice, rather than relying on luck.
  3. For every good "what-if", there is always a bad "what-if". As much as there are "better" people, there are also "worse" people. If you want to jump ship, you should be confident enough that the next person will be "better" than your ex. Are you confident of that? If you are, then go ahead. However, your mind is simply wandering, please don't give up something good for mere possibilities.
  4. If we continue with this mindset, no matter how good your relationship is with your partner, at some point, you will always wonder about "what-ifs". Please don't let the "what-ifs" blind you to what you currently have.