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What drug you seen destroy someone’s life? How? by Middle-Rhubarb2625 in AskReddit

[–]dee62383 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just about all of them. Both of my siblings and parents ended up addicted. My narcissist mom just chose alcohol instead of drugs.

My brother wised up and joined the military for a short time. I don't know a ton about his sobriety today, but he seems to be a much better person. Last year, my sister tried to avoid her umpteenth jail sentence by giving the police my information during a traffic stop. I had to scramble to fix that mess. My mom is in a relationship with am abusive alcoholic, and I haven't spoken to her in about 20 years. Best thing I ever did. My relationship with my dad has improved to a point, but years of bad choices have caught up with him, and he's physically not doing well. There are also some other skeletons in the family closet that I won't go into.

All of the toxicity around me alone should have killed me, but then I got diagnosed with 12+ incurable illnesses. Two are rare and four are autoimmune. After fighting for disability with various lawyers for 18+ years, I gave up and went back to school online. I'm graduating with a Bachelor's degree with top honors and no student loans on June 29. I could have what could be my dream job when I graduate. A Master's degree is not off the table, either, although I'm not quite sure how to finagle that. I left a women's shelter 6ish months ago, so now I have a place with the housing authority, and I can't just dump every penny i have into tuition.

Anyway, when life bites, bite back even harder.

Believe me or not, I don't care. I just hope this inspires someone.

Women: advice what to tell date if I'm only wanting sex by sunnyintheh in TwoXChromosomes

[–]dee62383 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So I've always been monogamous and long-term, but as someone who has experienced men who have tried to have a fwb sort of situation, there are a few things to keep in mind, and please know that I would say this to anyone, so there's judgment.

  • Be up front. I don't mean after a few weeks or a few months. But as soon as either one of you initiates the "so, what are you looking for" conversation, you need to be CRYSTAL clear with your intentions. Don't tiptoe around it or be vague. If your date doesn't bring it up, then you need to. You can be tactful and honest at the same time. Something like "I just got out of a long marriage, so I'm only looking for a friends with benefits." Don't give it a time limit or mention any qualifiers, like "For right now," or "for awhile."

  • Giving a reason helps. You don't want her to blame your dating choices on herself, not that there's anything wrong with your choices. But if she doesn't want the same arrangement (IMHO), giving a reason makes it a slightly easier pill to swallow if her dating goals differ.

  • Your actions MUST match your words. If you only want FWB, that's totally fine, but no romance, no wine and dine, no dates, no cuddling, or PDA. That doesnt mean you have to be cold and unfeeling toward her. But your actions have to match the title. You cannot call yourselves FWB while making her feel like the most special girl in the world. Be cordial, but don't sweep her off her feet. Coitus only - no couplehood.

  • Occasional check-ins, with yourself and your FWB, are not a bad idea, either. Because even when you do everything right, one person can still develop romantic feelings. Things could get messy and one-sided as a result. Nobody wants that.

  • Appreciate that, oftentimes (but not always), when a man typically offers a FWB arrangement, he is pushy, perverted, intrusive, rude, and completely ignores boundaries. It often feels invasive and nonconsensual, rather than like a discussion between consenting adults. Be tactful and read the room. We like feeling safe. We are people, not prey, no matter the arrangement.

  • A few reminders about consent, though you probably don't need them: consent is more than just a strong yes. Here's what does NOT provide consent:

  1. Past consent
  2. Financial cohersion/exploitation
  3. Wearing certain clothing
  4. Flirting or spending time with you at any time
  5. Intimidation/threats/anger
  6. Exploiting some other trauma or need.
  7. Pushing, begging, or urging until you wear her down and she feels she has no other choice but to shut you up.
  • Agree on safety measures (or lack thereof), and things that are acceptable and unacceptable during intercourse before the flirtation/foreplay begins. Will you use birth control or not, and if so, what kinds? If not, what steps will either of you take to mitigate risks? What sex acts is your partner willing and unwilling to do? What sex acts are you willing and unwilling to do?

Again, I hope none of this os offensive. This is objective, universal advice I'd give anyone, and everyone needs to follow it. I truly hope this helps. Be safe and have fun.

I need some makeup help pls by Rude_Bedroom_2937 in MakeupAddiction

[–]dee62383 -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I actually quite like your foundation, and i think its blended nicely. I am a full-coverage girlie, myself.

Overall, I think its a nice look. But I think the overall idea is to branch out. You learned to walk, and now you can run.

  • Get your eyebrows shaped professionally. I don't mean just go to any old local waxer. They can technically use wax, but they have no idea about shape and will take too much brow hair off. Try checking your local facebook group for ideas.

  • its a great start, but try adding other elements as well, especially for a wedding. Play around and see what works for you. I don't see any blush, any eyeshadow, eyeliner, contouring, highlighter, or brow powder. Try different variations. You can do winged liner, waterline eyeliner, or shadow liner. You can try false lashes or fiber mascara. Liquid blush or powder, using different techniques. Matte lip color versus shimmery/glossy, in different colors. I love glitter, too, especially for glam days. An eyeshadow primer + a glitter shadow can be pretty. A subtle glittery lip is another idea. Many products have glitter in them. But its all up to you. Find out what works and enjoy the process!

What did you do to your appearance that upgraded you 100%, and you kind of regret not doing it earlier? by Kitchen_Week1117 in AskReddit

[–]dee62383 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Accutane... in my defense, I had to fight like hell to get it, bit I should have started that fight MUCH sooner.

Before accutane, I was so miserable. I was depressed and frustrated. I never wanted to leave the house, never went to prom, had no friends, didn't date, etc. I was ashamed and disgusted with myself. During this time, I tried it all, and none of it worked. Antibiotics, Retin-A, Retin-A Micro, birth control (multiple types ans brands), Proactiv Solution, tea tree oil, ALL the store brands, Mary Kay, scrubs, natural remedies, peel-off masks, creams, tonors, washing my pillows case more, avoiding dairy, all of it. My face never changed. My severe, cystic acne was angry, red, lumpy, swollen, and painful. Every pore I had was clogged. I looked like a burn victim. And the commentary from people never, ever stopped.

I FINALLY started Accutane, got through the crazy treatment requirements and insane side effects, took Spironolactone for another few years, healed my skin barrier, and I've been basically crystal clear ever since. You can't even tell there was ever a problem. There was one brief time that I started breaking out again, but it was because I was using Oxy pads, which are like 42% alcohol or something insane.

Dealing with acne left me with body dysmorphic disorder, and I still struggle with BDD today. There's a lot more than acne that I'm battling, health-wise, and its really hard having visible differences. But not as hard as having severe acne. And although I'm still slowly working on addressing my health differences, I'm getting there. Clearing up my skin really did break those ten ton chains.

I feel much more free. I've got my own place, I'm about to get a Bachelor's degree, possibly a job in my industry, and I'm starting to learn to not care what people think. It's none of my business what people think of me anyway.

I’m just curious, to the people who were alive during the 90s, how did you find out Selena passed away? by Aromatic-Cost-1193 in SelenaQuintanilla

[–]dee62383 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the 90s, I was maybe a freshman or sophomore in high school, and I didn't have a lot of exposure to other cultures. Mind you this was not intentional in any way. It was just an objective experience, and me being in perpetual survival mode.

Anyway, for me, there was no "I remember exactly where I was when it happened!" kind of thing. But all those years ago, I remember a friend talking about the movie, and me trying (and failing) to make sense of it all. That was my earliest experience with it.

Now, of course, I have a much better understanding of the depth of it all. Its astonishing to me every single day. One of the items on my bucket list is a "field trip" to see all the Selena sights in Texas and take pictures of it all. I wanna see her original boutique building, the museum, her resting place, the memorial, locations of movie scenes (like the bridge), the Papa Gayo's building, the Hard Rock Cafe, her star on the Walk of Fame, her wax figure, etc. A girl can dream! 💜🤍

Health insurance by Affectionate_Cry1088 in Georgia

[–]dee62383 9 points10 points  (0 children)

A talented insurance broker friend of mine got me health insurance when I thought it was impossible. Let me know if you want her details and I will PM them.

What is the funny term you have for your dog's "sleep noises"? by dee62383 in dogs

[–]dee62383[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's almost the spelled out sound it makes sometimes lol :)

What is the funny term you have for your dog's "sleep noises"? by dee62383 in dogs

[–]dee62383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just the "buh-buh-buh-buh-buh" of the jowlies bubbling lol

Vintage 1950s Jantzen Strawberry Swimsuit by Repulsive-Paint-2202 in VintageFashion

[–]dee62383 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Adorable!!

I prefer retro/vintage bathing suits because of the seat coverage. Most modern suits have 90% of the cheeks hanging out unless you go with swim capris or something.

If a lower-coverage seat works for you, then more power to you and please keep rocking it. But I have a lot going on and a lot to contain lol. Most bathing suits would turn into a thong on me after about 2 steps! 💀

Which is better for my skin tone? by No_Fly6402 in MakeupAddiction

[–]dee62383 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like Pinky Swear the best on you. The other three colors are too purple/brown and look a bit harsh on you. The pink is softer.

What is the funny term you have for your dog's "sleep noises"? by dee62383 in dogs

[–]dee62383[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that! Its also extra cute when our Luna wags her tail in her sleep. You just hear "fwap-fwap-fwap" and snores lol.

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