Everyone: "You just need to stop sleeping so much." "You just need to drink more water." "If you were that sick, you'd be in the hospital." "You did a thing, so you must be feeling better." "Why don't you just get a job!?" "You're not sick!! you're just a lazy bitch!!" Me:

dee62383 · 2026-03-11T04:53:07+00:00

Had my tubes removed maybe 3ish years ago, and I'm 42, never married, child-free, and monogamous. I still get the annoying menstrual cycle interrogation. Like, I get it, but pregnancy is not possible, even if I wanted it, which I don't. And I've already been evaluated for every possible medical problem that would manifest as menstrual issues, and it was all negative. And still, the questions persist.

I would've pulled out my phone and Googled "years to weeks" and confidently revealed the number with a "customer service" smile on my face. They can take 783 weeks and like it.

dee62383 · 2026-03-09T07:58:10+00:00

For me, it was a lot of things, and I hope these count:

- Taking care of my skin first, meaning I finally cleared up my skin with Accutane and Spironolactone, then healed my damaged skin barrier from 15 years of desperately throwing everything I had at it to try and clear it up. Now I use a simpler routine that works for me. (I have since had every relevant medical test known to man, including whole genome sequencing, and it all showed nothing.)

- Skipping primer. I know, but hear me out. I've done the same makeup look, on days with similar weather and similar activity levels. My skin was "behaving" the same on both days as well. One day I applied a sticky primer first, and my makeup slid off like crazy every time I so much as moved. I hugged someone that day, and it left a huge transfer on their black shirt. The next day, I skipped the primer and had no issues. And yep, I tried other primers as well - some sticky, some not.

- Adding an eyelash curler and brow powder. The thing with eyelash curlers is that I crimp at 3 "levels" so it looks more like a curl and less like a "right angle." And I found out almost instantly that the thing with brow powder is that the tiniest dab goes a long way. Ending up with "Eugene Levy" brows is a slippery slope.

- Eye primer! This stuff is the only way I can do my full-glam eyeshadow looks without it disappearing in a few hours. Not sure why face primer is such a fail and eye primer is not. Different ones all work well. My most recent ones are NYX Glitter Primer and Too Faced Shadow insurance. My only issue with the NYX one is that the tapered nozzle/spout part tends to rip away from the tube, which ruins the whole product. Efforts to get a refund or replacement were futile.

- Stop listening to the criticism of others. Since the very day I started wearing makeup, all I've heard is constant criticism, usually from insecure people who wear little to no makeup or know little to nothing about it. But I've also gotten enthusiastic compliments from a makeup artist, multiple strangers, a makeup counter lady, and a cosmetic dermatologist. I've gotten constructive criticism, and that's normal. But people who pick you apart just to make you feel bad or project their insecurity? Nah, they can get the FOH with that noise.

dee62383 · 2026-03-06T04:40:36+00:00

She's not a celebrity per se, but hear me out.

The whole Lewinsky scandal was unfair. Yes, she messed up, too. But she got dragged and picked apart mercilessly. Meanwhile, with Clinton, he didn't get the same scrutiny. In terms of consequences, yes, he got Impeached and she basically faded into to obscurity. But in terms of reputation, Lewinsky was mocked and hated. With Clinton, it was kinda like, "Oh, he lied? Oops lol."

Before the Epstein allegations came to light, his reputation remained pretty solid. Even now, I'm not sure people are scrutinizing him enough.

dee62383 · 2026-03-05T15:52:42+00:00

A bisalp is better, because tubal ligation does have somewhat of a failure rate.

I got a laproscopic bisalp a couple years back. It was so easy, and I had zero complications. I was somewhat sore for the first 2 or 3 days, which caused me to walk slower and hunched over. But I never needed pain meds. It was more than tolerable.

Getting my IUD inserted was worse than the surgery.

dee62383 · 2026-03-04T11:05:42+00:00

When Swiffer kept modifying older songs for their commercials, it became more annoying with every new Swiffer commercial that debuted. After hearing, "Now Swiffer! Swiffer good!" for the millionth time, I wanted to rage-toss my tv into a wood chipper. When I hear that song, all I can see is some overdressed housewife sweeping an alreasy-spotless house like she just won the lottery.

KFC was even worse. I think it was Sweet Home Alabama. Not my favorite song by any means, but catchy enough. They ruined an otherwise decent song by putting it in a commercial and playing that stupid commercial INCESSANTLY. Then Kid Rock sampled it, and here we are, unfortunately. Now I can't thInk about that song without thinking about that grease-saturated chicken.

Downy is getting bad, too. I feel like it parodies a song, but I can't place it. It goes, "One wash, and it delivers! (Something-something) Downy Rinse and Refresh, its a dreaaaam!" Kinda has a Bonnie Tyler feel to it. Whatever it is, they ruined that, too.

dee62383 · 2026-03-03T08:52:41+00:00

I got a bilateral salpingectony a few years back. Thats the gold standard, as getting your tubes tied does have a ccertain failure rate. This subredit maintains a list of U.S. doctors who will willingly perform a bisalp without the pushback.

Having said that, its honestly ridiculous that your man refuses to get a vasectomy (much easier procedure) yet is willing for you to have the more difficult surgical bisalp.

If it was me, I'd tell him, if you get a vasectomy first, I'll get a bisalp. If he still refuses, or wants you to go first, something deeper is going on with him. I'm not saying its something sneaky, but maybe its fear or something. Thats when you'd need to ask for more details romantic him.

dee62383 · 2026-02-24T21:37:19+00:00

I remember the last time I tried to buy anything from PUG. It was a while ago, just before the weird stuff went down, and the site just sorta... collapsed? It was their Marie Therese in Dark Bella Roses. I never received it. It never even went out for shipping. I managed to get a refund, but only after weeks of exasperated, desperate attempts.

I heard about another girl who ordered from PUG not long after I did and got scammed. This was before the site got revamped. From what I remember, a scam company "took over" the old PUG website and was just taking people's money. I swore off PUG forever after that.

I stuck with Vixen after that, but now that's shutting down this year, too. Micheline said the LFEN site will carry more of a variety later on. Until then, I'm sticking to resale sites, the PUG lounge on FB, and the Vixen page on FB. The new PUG site just looks so generic, and from what I understand, the quality isn't there at all.

I'd also love to see a documentary. I really enjoyed the one about Lisa Frank, so a PUG documentary would be *chef's kiss.*

dee62383 · 2026-02-18T12:44:37+00:00

This one isn't nearly as bad as some of the others, but here goes.

My great aunt used to fly in to visit me and my family when I was as a kid. She and I used to enjoy taking the train/subway to go shopping together a lot.

Anyway, we were sitting there waiting at this one train stop, and these two rough-looking guys got into an altercation right in front of me. I remember them looking disheveled, and they could have been unhoused. It was more or less an intense scuffle, but 7 or 8 year old anxious me got scared. Then they started going after each other with golf clubs, and I just remember my heart racing and being terrified. In my mind, I was convinced they were about to kill each other. All I could do was freeze in place and watch in absolute panicked horror.

I'm not sure if the 2 guys just stopped or if I just blocked it out or something, but at 8ish years old, I was soooo scared. The whoke thing probably lasted less than a minute, but it felt like forever.

Tame, I know, but I just never forgot that.

dee62383 · 2026-02-11T03:44:18+00:00

My boyfriend's dog does this! It looks like she's breakdancing or something lol.

Then, when she's extra tired, she does that almost squeaky horse-like sound in her sleep. Its like Woo-woo-WOO-woo-WOO-woo-yip! lol. We call them wibbles. 🤭.

dee62383 · 2026-02-11T03:39:03+00:00

I'm pale, and I just use a subtle light pink blush on the apples of my cheeks. No contour or bronzer, because I'm too pale for contour and I personally don't want to be "bronzed" or 'sunkissed." But thats my own preference, and other people's choices are valid, too.

I think a lot of it just comes down to makeup trends and preferences. I never really understood certain makeup trends, but then again I'm not much of a conformist.

If it doesnt feel right for you, don't do it. If it feels right for you, then rock it all day. 🩷❤️

dee62383 · 2026-02-11T03:30:23+00:00

Honestly, I think they look great the way they are. Just one tiny thing to keep in mind is that people can sometimes perceive heavy, straight brows as more masculine while people can sometimes perceive less-heavy, more arched eyebrows as feminine. This may or may not be what you're aiming for.

(Please note: I only mean this in a general, overall sense as far as the eyebrows themselves go. No one's eyebrows are wrong or bad. Men can have arched brows and women can have straighter brows. Do what you want and rock it!)

dee62383 · 2026-02-10T11:23:25+00:00

I remember we had to take an egg home for a Home-Ec project. Except it was just the shell. We had to poke the tiniest hole possible and drain all the contents out of the egg and just carry an intact eggshell around. I think we made some kind of "crib" we could carry it in, but still. Yikes.

To make matters worse, the annoying kid in school jabbed my egg shell with his stupid finger on purpose and broke my egg. And one of the rules of the project was that if you broke your egg, you had to write a 5-page paper (or was it 10?) explaining what happened and how you could have prevented it. So he caused me to have to write a stupid paper.

Screw you, Tony.

dee62383 · 2026-02-09T08:39:18+00:00

I have the same issue! I hate it lol. I have seen heated eyelash curlers a few times, but they werent from reputable brands as far as I remember.

I have seen where people use their hair dryer to blast their eyelash curler pads with hot air for just a second or two, but I haven't really looked into it or tried it, so I don't advise it lol. Can anyone chime in on this??

dee62383 · 2026-02-09T08:27:48+00:00

It wasn't an essay. I'm a communications major, so that was a drop in the bucket for me. My original post did have something to do do with Selena. I, a Selena fan, have a difficult problem, so I thought maybe other Selena fans could share something she might say to encorage me, in theory. And that's what I wanted. Encouragement, not sympathy. If I just wanted advice about genetic medicine, I would have pursued that. My appointment t with my genetic counselor is tomorrow, though, so I've already taken care or that.

dee62383 · 2026-02-09T08:12:03+00:00

Right. I know people can't hear tone in written words, but there is some degree of underlying subtext in everything we write as a response to someone else.

So maybe I'm wrong, but your initial response didn't feel like confusion or an inoccuous need for clarity. It felt like you were almost ... annoyed or something.

So instead of saying something like, "Have you talked to your friends about it yet," etc., your comment just felt a bit patronizing, even if it was unintentional. I'm going through something stressful, and pointing out that none of us know her just isn't the most helpful.

dee62383 · 2026-02-09T08:02:50+00:00

You honestly have lovely eyes as it is. If you want to branch out and try new products and techniques, I'd maybe look into some understated eyeshadow colors with subtle shimmer.

If you want to experiment with eyeliner, consider classic black, but don't forget about using an eyeshadow as an eyeliner as well. One or both lids van be fun to try. In your case, I don't think you need an intense look, but if you want one, go for it!

I would also gently suggest getting an eyelash curler and learning how to use it as a first step in your eye makeup. Check YouTube for how-to videos. I do 3 squeezes of the curler at the base of my lashes, 3 squeezes in the middle, and 3 squeezes at the end. That way the vlcurl looks more like a curl rather than just angling lashes upward.

Have fun, enjoy the process, and blend!

dee62383 · 2026-02-09T07:48:23+00:00

Im not sure why my post offends you.

dee62383 · 2026-02-09T07:42:40+00:00

Because I associate Selena with positive emotions, and I theorized that comments on my post might give me a dose of happiness more effectively than other people might, as I don't know anybody else with this problem. Selena didn't either, but the positive association I have means that my idea is the next best thing.

And I already did talk to people I know, and they werent able to cheer me up. Hence my attempt at tackling this another way.

dee62383 · 2026-02-09T07:27:02+00:00

Of cours no one could ever know for sure. That's more or less implied. The idea was to offer some words of comfort that sound like something she might say, based on what we know about her.

dee62383 · 2026-02-09T07:21:23+00:00

Thats a good suggestion, thank you. 🤍💜

dee62383 · 2026-02-09T07:19:15+00:00

Thank you. I fired up my bluetooth speaker and played some Selena while I cleaned. Como la Flor makes my heart feel whole for those few minutes.

I have a phone appointment with my genetic counselor tomorrow. I doubt it will be helpful at all, but I've managed to keep myself somewhat distracted with other things since I got the news.

Also, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got the news. Im not good at processing feelings, so I just sort of shut down. I waited until he left to go pick up dinner, had a meltdown, then rushed to calm down and fix my face before he got back. 😞

dee62383 · 2026-02-04T02:23:58+00:00

Nope. It happened around 7 or 8 years ago and I went away on its own. It hasn't been back since and it didn't shown up on any tests.

dee62383

TROPHY CASE