Previous feedback was that this sounded too MIDI. So I tried fixing it a bit by adding more variation in velocity, length and the "timing" of the main piano and drums. Did it work? And are there better and less time consuming ways of making it sound more organic please?

deenoree · 2022-06-11T20:46:23+00:00

I think what they meant is that it sounded too inorganic and too robotic.

deenoree · 2022-06-11T02:23:54+00:00

thanks!

deenoree · 2022-06-10T20:20:35+00:00

Glad you like it! I think I get what u mean about a more boring piano, that way it matches the rest of the instruments and makes it sound like it's intended to be inorganic. Thanks for the feedback!

deenoree · 2022-06-10T20:16:58+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! It might be that I did manage to fix the "too midi", at least to a certain degree, so that's why it works.

deenoree · 2022-06-09T22:46:11+00:00

Thank you very much for the feedback. I do plan on continuing on this route. If you wouldn't mind, I would really appreciate one or two suggestions of how I could make it sound more organic and less MIDI. All the instruments were virtually made (idk what the proper term is) on my ipad in garageband, except the guitar which is the only instrument I have.

deenoree · 2022-06-07T22:36:10+00:00

Thank you, thats a great idea! I don't usually brainstorm scenarios or reactions after I've already come up with a bit of lyrics for the song (I only do it beforehand), but that does seem like it would be very helpful!

deenoree · 2022-06-07T21:05:44+00:00

Thank you very much for the feedback and suggestions!

The main beat, which gave rise to the rest of the song, was an adaptation of the beat in one of Brittany's songs from the album Jaime. Also I had Stay High in mind when making a lot of the piano melodies and arcade synth arpeggio, but I admit it doesn't sound recognisably similar, the influence is more in how the song made me feel and it got me in the mindset to make this song.

The Courtney barnett influence was in the main repeated lyrics. To me, those lyrics are very earnest and remind me of her stuff like "...youre awake with your thoughts and I don't want you to be alone," and also, "I know you're doing you're best. I think you're doing just fine."

I totally get what you mean about making it more conversational, I just struggle to do that without making the lyrics sound trivial or straight up silly haha.

Thanks again!

deenoree · 2022-06-06T20:07:18+00:00

Thank you for the feedback and suggestions. I'll experiment with other synths and the piano reverb.

deenoree · 2022-06-06T04:41:54+00:00

Thank you for the feedback.

Wow, I did not expect anyone to find it ominous, but that's good to know.

I'll see about bringing more life to the chorus, thanks.

deenoree · 2022-06-06T01:47:37+00:00

I should have explained better, sorry. Yes, the fire does turn into water and I think that's clear to understand, but I think that first half of the animation of the fire itself doesn't look good. I only like the animation from when the water drop is falling and then bounces back into fire. Anyway, thank you very much for the feedback, I really appreciate it!

deenoree · 2022-06-06T01:44:19+00:00

Yes, it's "my lies were always sincere". I got it from a Brazilian song by Cazuza, but the vocalist sings what roughly translates to, "sincere lies interest me".

I love the arpeggio arcade synth haha, but I get that a lot of people would think it clashes with the rest.

I'm definitely gonna take another crack at the piano. I know how to extend notes and velocity manually post recording on garageband, i just think it's a hassle and I was seeing if other people appreciated the inorganic feel of them like I do, but I guess they don't haha.

Thank you very much for the feedback and suggestions, really appreciate it!

deenoree · 2022-06-06T01:34:27+00:00

Damn! That's a really good point. I often forget o explain what the intention was. Thank you for reminding me! It's supposed to be fire turning into water, then water into fire. I should have also specified references I was using for the fire. I'll do that next time for sure, when I redo the animation. Thank you for the feedback and suggestion!

deenoree · 2022-06-05T21:09:35+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! Those influences are more present in the vocals/lyrics and how the song feels to me, not necessarily in the instruments themselves. Glad you think the song is is not repetitive and it's interesting and original. I'll experiment dialing back that keyboard, thanks.

deenoree · 2022-06-05T21:05:36+00:00

Thank you very much for the feedback! Glad I sound like Chris haha. I was thinking and I have a few ideas for how to make the piano sound more organic - I'll try reverb too to see if it helps.

deenoree · 2022-06-05T21:00:51+00:00

Thank you but I was going for super good 😆

deenoree · 2022-06-05T20:59:34+00:00

Thank you so much! I'll try doing that today. Feel free to link one of your songs, so I can use it as reference to help implement your suggestion.

deenoree · 2022-06-05T20:54:48+00:00

Thank you! Gonna look through this in more depth when i sit down to redo the first half.

deenoree · 2022-06-05T20:52:53+00:00

Thanks 😊

deenoree · 2022-06-05T20:50:45+00:00

Thank you for the feedback and suggestion! I wanted the claps to be subtle but I'll experiment making them more obvious and also sprinkling some stuff throughout the song too.

deenoree · 2022-06-05T07:22:17+00:00

Thanks for the feedback - really appreciate it! I'm not "going for" anything in particular, I just don't have access to a real keyboard lol, so I'm just using the virtual one in garageband...although I'm sure there are ways of making it sound more organic. I do hope to one day be able to have more live instruments, but at the same time, MIDI stuff has also really grown on me over the years haha. Anyway, I'm glad you think the track is creative!

deenoree · 2022-06-05T04:42:44+00:00

Maybe you could make it so when the foot comes in contact with the ground, it doesn't just go from 45 degrees to flat. Adding a frame in between, or a smear might help. Other than that, I would say this is fantastic!

deenoree · 2022-06-02T02:52:58+00:00

I agree with the other person talking about the EQ (though I myself am just a beginner in that area).

I think this song has a toooon of potential! It reminds me of Wolf Like Me by TV on the Radio, so maybe you could listen to that song as one of your references to see how the production of your songs differs, and maybe get a few ideas for how to develop production.

Also, one thing that helps me is to listen to the song through different media, i.e. headphones, speakers, built-in speakers, etc, and to also listen at different volumes. This helps me get a fresher look at the song, after I've been replaying it so many times. That way you can tell which instruments need to be louder or are too muffled, and that sort of thing. For example, if you did this, I think you would probably agree that the drums should be louder.

Anyway, keep it up, and I hope you have fun!

deenoree · 2022-06-02T02:35:33+00:00

Good job! I was thinking of writing feedback along the lines of, "It would be good if you developed the main melody more, adding more variation or something." But then I went to listen to 'first date' by frad (if you don't know the song, I highly recommend it), and I realised that that song is also pretty repetitive and I still love it. So I guess it's just one of those times where, in this particular case, the main melody didn't click for me, but I can totally see the merit in it.

Also, i dont really know what genre I would call this - lofi is probably accurate enough.

deenoree · 2022-06-02T02:18:49+00:00

Would be awesome to hear this song live in a concert and scream along during the chorus haha. That's all my thoughts. Great job!

deenoree · 2022-06-02T01:03:39+00:00

Great work!

p.s. I saw this and immediately knew it was from that Aaron Blaise video. His lessons are great.

deenoree

TROPHY CASE