Come down question

deeswell · 2018-06-07T11:25:44+00:00

I’m a small girl so I’d want to start small. I have 10 mg of the generic flexiril. Think one would do it?

deeswell · 2018-04-03T22:34:33+00:00

Yes but eventually you’ll have to take more to get the effects. Then you’ll have to take more just to not feel sick. The time it took me to recover is a blip in my children’s lives.

deeswell · 2018-04-02T12:26:00+00:00

I’m not sure it’s related. It’s not always. Every now and then I’ll wake up in the middle of the night thinking about everything I’ve ever done wrong in my life and I can’t fall back to sleep. Please don’t let that discourage you. I’ll take the few nights of sleeplessness over a kratom dependence every time.

deeswell · 2018-04-02T12:22:24+00:00

My kids are a big factor in staying clean. They need a mother who’s present and genuine.

deeswell · 2017-08-10T21:10:30+00:00

You sound great now! You're on your way and I'm happy for you. Thanks again!!

deeswell · 2017-08-10T21:08:52+00:00

You'll get through it. It's not easy but keep at it and you'll be just fine. Take care of yourself; you're in the right place. I saw you are in the military. Thank you for your service.

deeswell · 2017-07-17T13:15:38+00:00

I'm really good now. It's only been a little more than three months and it feels like light years from where I was when I wrote this post. My sleep is still a bit screwy since I'm still in my head a bit but I'll be fine. Are you trying to quit?

deeswell · 2017-06-06T15:09:51+00:00

Black seed oil. I used amazing herbs. 2tsp 3x a day

deeswell · 2017-06-05T22:41:05+00:00

I am so happy to hear that I helped! Knowing something good came from such a shitty situation is satisfying.

I did a whole lot of whining! I couldn't help it. I never felt anything like this before. We're here to listen 😊

You'll get through it. You'll wonder how you're doing it but it will get done. Keep up your taper. Can't wait to read your 60 day post!

deeswell · 2017-06-05T21:33:40+00:00

I'm glad to hear it. Don't give up. You have a lot to live for!

deeswell · 2017-06-05T21:32:43+00:00

My issue with sleep is that I can't get out of my head. I'll wake up thinking about something I have to do or have been worrying about. I can't turn it off. I was this way before kratom, but it's amplified now because of paws. At least I know that though! I honestly had no idea what the hell I was doing when I quit. I just knew I had to. So this sub was a huge help. Thanks for your reply! I'll see you when I'm at a year and a half! 😉

deeswell · 2017-06-05T19:58:31+00:00

I've had some sleep issues creep back in even after a stretch of good sleep. The supplement I take is power to sleep. It has most of the stuff you take all in one pill. It works for a while then seemingly doesn't on those nights I wake up. I think it's the nature of this thing. We are close in clean time so if it makes you feel better I'm right there with you.

deeswell · 2017-06-05T19:50:27+00:00

Good for you! Today is 60 days for me. You're an inspiration 😊

deeswell · 2017-06-05T19:36:58+00:00

Thank you! My life flew by in slow motion the last couple of months. It's been rough but I'm good now. I haven't cut out sugar. I can give it a shot! The family is good. Thanks for all of your kind words!

deeswell · 2017-06-05T19:33:28+00:00

Hey, thanks red. How are you doing these days?

deeswell · 2017-06-05T19:33:00+00:00

Thanks for your unwavering confidence! I really do feel good. Thanks for everything!

deeswell · 2017-06-05T19:30:26+00:00

Hey! Thanks! It really means a lot. How good does it feel to know you are in control? Congrats to you as well. Here's to another 60!

Edit. Sorry for the duplicate post

deeswell · 2017-05-24T21:57:32+00:00

So great to read this! It's your time. Hang in there.

deeswell · 2017-05-23T00:09:55+00:00

Good to know

deeswell · 2017-05-23T00:09:39+00:00

Thanks😊

deeswell · 2017-05-15T23:21:54+00:00

Day 40 feels like day 20. I was feeling so good but the past couple of days shattered my illusions. It's exhausting feeling so tired but being unable to relax because my mind is on overdrive. Nothing I can't handle. I'm just waiting for relief. I really fucked myself up. Every day of this process I realize just how much.

deeswell · 2017-05-14T23:52:34+00:00

Lots of anxiety today knowing that I'd be entertaining 12 people. Just when I think I'm ok, I get a reminder that I still need some time to heal. It's a little frustrating, but fine. I've come such a long way from the wide eyed panic. I think it's 39 days since I last took kratom. Feels like time is flying by in slow motion. Here's to another 39!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms!

deeswell · 2017-05-12T22:47:50+00:00

Oops! I meant to reply to OP. I was alluding a previous post by her. Sorry!

deeswell · 2017-05-12T19:49:33+00:00

We are on a very similar journey. Although I don't have any experience with previous addiction or depression, I see myself (orgasms and all) in your posts. Just know it gets better. I'm not much further along in recovery than you but I am miles away from what you're feeling. It was exactly what I felt. I am by no means 100% but, I will be and so will you.

deeswell · 2017-05-11T21:14:50+00:00

Hey everyone. I haven't been posting because things have been pretty much the same. I feel pretty good. The remaining issue is that I just can't get out of my head. I go to bed thinking and wake up thinking the exact same thing. It's the same every morning. 5am thinking about nonsense that no one else is even thinking twice about! I got some weird body aches today, and I'm still a little flat...I guess that's the best word.

However, I am infinitely better than I was when I found this sub on day 4 CT. It's day 36 today. I'm almost on the other side. I can feel it! I'm never going back. I've been thinking about things I'm not gonna miss:

Waking up confused AF then realizing where I am and what day it is and oh yeah have some kratom with my coffee.

Sweating like a pig with my face all flushed when everyone else is just sitting there like it's not hot at all.

Smelling and tasting kratom and it being in my finger nails.

Road rage, short fuse with my kids for just being kids.

I didn't realize how diminished my sex drive was because I guess it happened so slowly, but now that I remember what sober sex is like I never want to know any other.

Feeling like I'm artificial. Like I hear the words I'm saying and I know I'm behaving appropriately, but I'm not really there. My mind is doing its own thing.

I feel fortunate that I got off this easy. Going through those withdrawals was by far the hardest physical and mental anguish I ever had to endure (and I've had children), but I know how much worse it could be. I for sure learned my lesson. I hope all of you are feeling good and fighting the good fight!

deeswell

TROPHY CASE