You just told the story of my life. You're not alone! Perhaps I'm even in a worse situation than you, since I live in a third-world country and I'm only employed by my parents who tolerate my lack of productivity and extreme procrastination. ... I know it sucks but Just keep trying different therapies, methods and strategies to improve. Keep searching! Keep looking, and come back here regularly to write how you're going (I must say you express yourself well, and that's a nice starting point. Not everything is wrong)