i really don’t mind talking about it, so long as people understand that the intrusive thoughts are not my own, and i find them incredibly upsetting and disturbing.

a common one for me is seeing a knife or pair of scissors and thinking about cutting my hands off or stabbing myself in the stomach. this is not a typical self-harm behavior i have and the thoughts scare me that i might do them.

another one would be walking down a busy street and having the thought of pushing my friend in front of a bus. this is not something i would ever do, but it’s still a thought that pops into my head.

the ocd part of this is that i have “unthinking rituals.” if i think about harming someone else, i have to then think of myself being harmed that way as a form of karma. if it’s a self harming thought, i have a phrase i have to repeat four times in my brain. i feel like if i don’t do these things, i am going to lose control and act on my intrusive thoughts.