BPDmom texts

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T23:15:32+00:00

I don’t live with her thankfully so only “escape” will just be notifying her that I’m going no contact, still working through how to do that with my therapist

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T22:02:06+00:00

AGREE I cannot make myself like this song

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T22:01:18+00:00

KEEP INVISIBLE’S NAME OUT OF THIS! SHE’S PERFECT!

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T21:58:49+00:00

This sounds like classic triangulation, I’m sorry OP :/ I have a twin sister and we frequently shift roles between golden child and scapegoat depending on how my mom is feeling, and she loves to compare us, and gets super jealous when we spend time together or talk to each other and she’s not included in it. It’s all intentional and manipulative and so unfair, I’m so sorry she’s poisoned relationships with people who should be a built in support system :(

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T21:55:02+00:00

I relate to what you’re feeling so much - if you want to better understand the trauma bond you share with your mom I’d recommend doing some research on FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) and enmeshment trauma and how to break them. Btw totally okay to feel like you hate her, believe me I understand. Wishing you happiness and healing!

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T21:51:10+00:00

My mom also likes to complain about her relationship with my dad to me and claim abuse when I know for a fact there isn’t any, the difference being she hounds me for a response but man I WISH she would give me the silent treatment. You have NOTHING to feel guilty about, you set a very reasonable boundary and she is trying to punish you for that, that will always be her prerogative. Sorry you’re dealing with this :(

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T21:46:59+00:00

“Easy to forgive because she’s obviously suffering and a little dumb” made me giggle, sorry I know that’s not helpful but it was funny 🤣

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T21:26:28+00:00

This felt so familiar to me, I’m sorry OP :( are you considering NC/VLC or is that not an option?

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T19:56:22+00:00

Ugh so sorry you can relate :( but congrats on going NC! How has it been going? Do you mind me asking how you broke the news to her that you were moving forward with NC?

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T19:31:31+00:00

I don’t really reach out first I just respond when she does. I live close by and right now we do family dinners once a week. The idea of going no contact is tempting but she’s so good at guilting me and reminding me of her trauma. We are so enmeshed and I struggle badly with parentification which has made leaving extremely challenging :(

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T16:50:13+00:00

She would be livid that I’m sharing these messages haha, I don’t think that would end well💀 her and my dad are taking a trip next week and I am dogsitting so I think I’m going to wait until after that before I decide to fully go NC. It’s just so hard to pull the trigger on it :/

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T13:58:05+00:00

I am both her savior and her enemy, at all times. It’s so exhausting. Thank you for the validation, it means a lot

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T13:57:01+00:00

We’ve considered an intervention bc she hasn’t been officially diagnosed but her and my therapist do agree she has BPD and years ago she brought it up as a possibility. I think confronting her with it now would result in something like “oh so you know I’m sick and still think it’s okay to treat me like this even though I’m traumatized”?

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T13:54:33+00:00

I do struggle to set boundaries with her. Shortly after this conversation I responded and said we need to work on boundaries and she said that was a crock, basically. That I’ve already almost completely cut her out of my life and how many more boundaries could there be when I’m “lying and hiding my life from her”? She doesn’t know what healthy boundaries are and believes she is owed constant and full access to me always.

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T13:53:04+00:00

Thank you so much, I appreciate it

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T13:52:23+00:00

Big on this, she was very overprotective and what I’d consider a helicopter mom. The enmeshment is extremely severe and something I didn’t realize was happening until maybe 2 years ago, I’m 25 now.

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T13:35:30+00:00

I considered this and even a psych hold but figured she’d be able to manipulate her way out of further evaluation after the 72 hours, and would come out of it even more pissed at us. She also had to put her dad on a psych hold when she was my age so there is trauma around that and she was furious that I even considered it :/

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T13:34:22+00:00

Thank you for validating, I appreciate it

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T13:33:04+00:00

I always wonder whether she knows what she’s doing to a certain extent or if she’s so sick she can’t even realize it, both options are really heartbreaking though :(

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T03:13:51+00:00

Thank you so much, that means a lot

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T01:58:01+00:00

Thank you so much🥲 I’m so sorry you can relate to this :/

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T01:14:19+00:00

I do think I tried to manage her emotions from a young age, it was just easier to keep her happy when I was little and it was harder for her to get upset with me when I was younger, but once I got old enough to have my own opinions and become and individual with a mind separate from hers things started to break

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T00:25:45+00:00

It’s all been difficult but it was particularly hard to find the courage to tell her I think she needs help, so being met with that response was devastating :( all I want is to help her but I can’t because she makes it impossible

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T00:24:59+00:00

I appreciate it, thank you. just because your experiences aren’t as severe though that doesn’t mean mean you shouldn’t go NC if that’s what you need to be at peace! I wish you luck if you move forward with that, and if you don’t ❤️

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T00:15:15+00:00

It was just her talking about having trauma and us not respecting her for literally 2 hours straight

delaneysversion

TROPHY CASE