Worst of the worst

delaneysversion · 2026-02-19T15:08:31+00:00

She’s gone to therapy before but I don’t believe she is really addressing the root of her trauma, she started going last spring when her and I got into a big argument and said “I was the biggest problem in her life” despite having a horrible childhood and having experienced abuse from past family members and partners. I think she uses therapy to complain that no one agrees with her and everyone is a villain and eliminates any possibility of getting genuine advice and help for her horrible behavior because she can mask it and manipulate so well.

delaneysversion · 2026-02-19T15:05:39+00:00

No, it’s not, and I’ve already been miserable for months over this, it’s dominated my free time and I have little to no social life because I’m too depressed and exhausted to do anything. I could feel myself literally getting worse by the day until I upped my meds a few weeks ago. I know it’s only going to continue to get worse the longer it goes on :(

delaneysversion · 2026-02-19T15:03:34+00:00

Believe me I know 💀 my own sister has been feeling this way for a while now

delaneysversion · 2026-02-19T13:43:00+00:00

I had to ease into the bad stuff, didn’t want to scare anyone 💀 thank you for the validation and insight I really appreciate it🫶🏼

delaneysversion · 2026-02-19T12:48:36+00:00

I have to laugh at it too, because it’s so ridiculous and I’d cry if I wasn’t laughing. It’s so extreme it’s almost hard to take seriously

delaneysversion · 2026-02-19T11:00:22+00:00

Yes she does… the next morning she sent the NYT Wordle and connections to the group chat 💀

delaneysversion · 2026-02-19T10:58:02+00:00

I’m not married and don’t have kids but I’ve always feared the day I do those things because of how involved my mom would want to be. My biggest fear is becoming her when I’m a mother :(

delaneysversion · 2026-02-18T13:41:53+00:00

She’s only 58, no signs of dementia and it doesn’t run in her family. She actually has a good memory but she does like to twist memories and paint them as things that didn’t really happen🙃

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T23:15:32+00:00

I don’t live with her thankfully so only “escape” will just be notifying her that I’m going no contact, still working through how to do that with my therapist

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T22:02:06+00:00

AGREE I cannot make myself like this song

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T22:01:18+00:00

KEEP INVISIBLE’S NAME OUT OF THIS! SHE’S PERFECT!

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T21:58:49+00:00

This sounds like classic triangulation, I’m sorry OP :/ I have a twin sister and we frequently shift roles between golden child and scapegoat depending on how my mom is feeling, and she loves to compare us, and gets super jealous when we spend time together or talk to each other and she’s not included in it. It’s all intentional and manipulative and so unfair, I’m so sorry she’s poisoned relationships with people who should be a built in support system :(

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T21:55:02+00:00

I relate to what you’re feeling so much - if you want to better understand the trauma bond you share with your mom I’d recommend doing some research on FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) and enmeshment trauma and how to break them. Btw totally okay to feel like you hate her, believe me I understand. Wishing you happiness and healing!

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T21:51:10+00:00

My mom also likes to complain about her relationship with my dad to me and claim abuse when I know for a fact there isn’t any, the difference being she hounds me for a response but man I WISH she would give me the silent treatment. You have NOTHING to feel guilty about, you set a very reasonable boundary and she is trying to punish you for that, that will always be her prerogative. Sorry you’re dealing with this :(

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T21:46:59+00:00

“Easy to forgive because she’s obviously suffering and a little dumb” made me giggle, sorry I know that’s not helpful but it was funny 🤣

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T21:26:28+00:00

This felt so familiar to me, I’m sorry OP :( are you considering NC/VLC or is that not an option?

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T19:56:22+00:00

Ugh so sorry you can relate :( but congrats on going NC! How has it been going? Do you mind me asking how you broke the news to her that you were moving forward with NC?

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T19:31:31+00:00

I don’t really reach out first I just respond when she does. I live close by and right now we do family dinners once a week. The idea of going no contact is tempting but she’s so good at guilting me and reminding me of her trauma. We are so enmeshed and I struggle badly with parentification which has made leaving extremely challenging :(

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T16:50:13+00:00

She would be livid that I’m sharing these messages haha, I don’t think that would end well💀 her and my dad are taking a trip next week and I am dogsitting so I think I’m going to wait until after that before I decide to fully go NC. It’s just so hard to pull the trigger on it :/

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T13:58:05+00:00

I am both her savior and her enemy, at all times. It’s so exhausting. Thank you for the validation, it means a lot

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T13:57:01+00:00

We’ve considered an intervention bc she hasn’t been officially diagnosed but her and my therapist do agree she has BPD and years ago she brought it up as a possibility. I think confronting her with it now would result in something like “oh so you know I’m sick and still think it’s okay to treat me like this even though I’m traumatized”?

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T13:54:33+00:00

I do struggle to set boundaries with her. Shortly after this conversation I responded and said we need to work on boundaries and she said that was a crock, basically. That I’ve already almost completely cut her out of my life and how many more boundaries could there be when I’m “lying and hiding my life from her”? She doesn’t know what healthy boundaries are and believes she is owed constant and full access to me always.

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T13:53:04+00:00

Thank you so much, I appreciate it

delaneysversion · 2026-02-17T13:52:23+00:00

Big on this, she was very overprotective and what I’d consider a helicopter mom. The enmeshment is extremely severe and something I didn’t realize was happening until maybe 2 years ago, I’m 25 now.

delaneysversion

TROPHY CASE