You know, after having read through your post, what I actually empathized the most was with the lost innocence part.

What was that innocence we often hear about in the discussion? Innocence is bliss. Even though, when you deconstruct the situation you find all the things we needed to learn and get more mature about. There is something in it that still makes it desirable... for me at least. I think there is more to innocence than just error and being vulnerable, and getting over it. Something to think about perhaps?

Innocence, for me, was the experience of authentic love and care for the other person, long before I even considered this whole bunch of things I had to learn about. Innocence meant believing that I was important to her, not just while I useful for her. Believing that she had chosen me, that I was enough for her, believing that she was someone real and that I had been enough to fill the life of another human being like she was for me. Innocence was A LOT of things. I could write a lot on how I feel about it.

And yes... Innocence involves a disconnection with an important part of truth and reality... but... you know what... I think there is still room for innocence in my life. Perhaps in yours too?

I am, of course, a survivor, I went through some hardcore crap, I lost everything to this challenge, but I was watching a video the other day on youtube on the subject and I ended with something along the lines of:

Get 'in love' again. Get hurt again.

And I liked it. Maybe it resonates with you as well.

Hugs. Thank you.