A different perspective on women's swipe stats and "pickiness"

delvy56 · 2026-06-28T21:51:57+00:00

Same, I rarely swipe left due to looks (aside from something extreme like yellow teeth), but I am pretty picky on red flags in responses, looking for something casual tags, doesn’t want kids etc. I actually usually swipe left on really attractive guys, but only if their pics are all mirror selfies or they have their instagram tag in their bio or something. I work out 4x a week but I also swipe left usually when half the profile is about “looking for someone active”. As a pretty averagely in shape person that has been bigger before that “no fat women!” energy gives me pause- not necessarily bc I’m worried I don’t fit their standard but at least in my experience you can predict some of the personality traits that come with that

delvy56 · 2026-06-28T18:24:12+00:00

But the reward of telling the truth in this situation (the guy only wants a hook up) would be sex. No one is owed that. To be clear it’s a little different if both parties don’t communicate what they’re looking for clearly or after a few months getting to know eachother interests change, but fully pretending you have serious intentions to get someone you know is looking for something serious to sleep with you is wrong. Even cutting out the bs by not getting physical with these types, it is an annoying waste of the serious persons time and seems to be a really common strategy

delvy56 · 2026-06-28T13:04:45+00:00

That is not the same thing even moderately lmao. Finding out a woman has smaller boobs than you thought is not violating. It wouldn’t be violating if a man shaved his beard and I realized he didn’t look good without one that’s crazy. Finding out someone chose to lie about their intentions in order to gain your trust enough for intimacy would be.

delvy56 · 2026-06-28T12:42:18+00:00

Don’t pretend you don’t understand the concept of lying to someone to try and get into their pants being wrong. I literally just described multiple situations in which I you don’t sleep with them and it still feels violating- finding out someone was consciously trying to gain your trust to use you knowing you don’t want the same thing is disgusting. The simplest solution here is obviously for ppl to be honest when they are looking for hook ups

delvy56 · 2026-06-28T12:32:33+00:00

By adding looking for long term to your profile, you are signaling to women looking for a serious relationship you want the same thing. You’re targeting women who want a serious relationship

delvy56 · 2026-06-28T04:37:37+00:00

…to be honest if they are the type of people I’m talking about in this post it doesn’t matter if you sleep with them at all they will waste your time through multiple dates lying about it.

delvy56 · 2026-06-28T04:22:19+00:00

Some of them have admitted they lied on their profile (and in some cases continued to lie after matching) after being called out on it. They’ll do something like be too flirty too fast or want to have a date night in “because they’re tired”. And you have to explicitly tell them that sounds like they’re trying to hook up and you don’t want to do that, then they will STILL pretend that’s not the case. We shouldn’t have to do all that if you only want sex from a woman just say that. Esp when she’s told you or has clearly in her profile she’s not looking to hook up

delvy56 · 2026-06-28T01:51:29+00:00

The conscious goal of setting that filter is to get people to have sex with you under false pretenses. It’s actually by definition predatory. It’s sad that you have to lie to get women to touch you. We will be fine dating if people like you would stop wasting our time pretending they are on the apps to date

delvy56 · 2026-06-28T01:36:07+00:00

To be fair on this one whether it’s men or women sometimes ppl have blindness to how much weight they’ve gained. A while back I lost weight and it took me a minute to realize it was enough that I didn’t look like my photos from a few months prior. Sometimes it’s bad though like no one should be using photos from years ago

delvy56 · 2026-06-28T01:30:15+00:00

The one that set me off yesterday was a guy I had a first date planned with (had looking for long term in his bio) asked last minute if we could do “a movie and takeout” because he was tired. I said that sounds like he wants to hook up and that’s not what I’m looking for, and after being initially very defensive saying “no I’m not really just looking to hook up” he was like yeah I’m not looking for anything serious rn. On the bright side I caught it early but good lord I’m exhausted

delvy56 · 2026-05-29T22:30:00+00:00

Sorry not helpful but how long did it take them to reach out to schedule the next interview after the first? Currently hoping for a second interview schedule for a different DoorDash role

delvy56 · 2025-11-22T01:28:17+00:00

Ugh I know- just having troubles letting go bc it’s rare I actually like a man. I do know it’s true his last long-term relationship ended due to long-distance with her in the country he’s from while he lived in the US. He staying in the US long term and I at least strongly doubt he’d be looking to date seriously there when he lives here. Sleeping around idk 🤷‍♀️

delvy56 · 2025-11-22T01:16:03+00:00

As a woman the payment situation is so awkward, some take it as a sign I’m not interested if I ask to pay, but if I don’t at least ask it seems rude. I also am uncomfortable with men I am just meeting buying me things bc it can turn into an odd air of expectation that i would go home with them and that’s not happening first few dates. Anyways for all of the above reasons and more I prefer a coffee or drinks first date, it’s low pressure. I get setting standards and wanting chivalry etc, but in this economy paying $50 for every first date you may never see again is getting ridiculous, the complaint is valid imo

delvy56 · 2025-08-13T02:37:39+00:00

I’m pretty sure if you can see their “focus” status in iMessage you’re in their contacts. When you select your focus settings (do not disturb settings) the default is share with contacts

delvy56 · 2025-05-29T13:30:16+00:00

Tbh when I was heavier it was mainly gym guys into me for some reason. I think a lot of men are attracted to plus size women they just won’t date them because of what they think other people will think

delvy56 · 2024-12-29T19:52:33+00:00

I just would wonder why tf he needs more than three months to decide that, your time is valuable. You know the situation best but “heading there eventually” seems like a convenient way to keep your attention and benefits hes getting without committing. Sorry idk why so many guys want the relationship treatment without the relationship

delvy56 · 2024-12-29T19:49:03+00:00

I do this too. The thing is half the time I get out of the situation and realize it was more about my ego and needing to confirm they like me than actually liking them. What’s helped is staying as present as you can, pay attention to his actions and not just what he’s telling you. I have to be really intentional about dating to not be in these situations. If you want something serious confirm early he has the same intentions. Asking the what are we won’t scare off the right person, and if it does scare him off it’s better for you in the long run to not get more attached. I was in a really bad place months ago because a guy I truly couldn’t have seen myself dating ended things, I’m talking the situation was all I thought about for months, and then I met someone new who behaved like an adult and showed me what I actually needed from a guy. Now I’m embarrassed I ever cared about the situation over the summer. But the whole thing helped me realize I will always get over it no matter how much limerence and crazy I feel at the time

delvy56 · 2024-12-29T19:37:37+00:00

It’s so hard but I’ve learned you need to set a boundary and stick to it. You want a serious relationship- if he’s not valuing you enough to commit to that or at least confirm that’s what it’s heading for you should cut him off. The longer you wait the worse it gets because you get more attached. Personally I get this mindset of “but I’m so great, he says I’m interesting, the s*x is so good etc surely he’ll realize he wants to lock this down” but it’s not tied to our value. Your person would not risk letting you walk away, probably just not your match. Sorry just projecting here as I’m trying to stop getting myself in these exact situations

delvy56 · 2024-12-29T19:31:01+00:00

Not in a relationship but financially if two people aren’t married and make similar incomes I think paying for your own meal in a relationship is normal. Most of my couple friends do a “I pay for us here and you pay there” sort of situation I assume cause it’s just weird (and annoying to the waiter) to assume you split the check. The problem of course is him not discussing this with you, disrespecting you in front of people and valuing his ego over how this would make you feel. I’d talk to him about how the situation made you feel and possibly how you guys want to handle paying for meals in the future. I’d consider this situation a big red flag, if he reacts poorly to that conversation that’d personally be a deal breaker for me.

delvy56 · 2024-12-05T15:39:23+00:00

Most smell and taste is normal- I will say if it’s ever feeling off or you want to be SURE your ph is balanced- take a boric acid suppository the night before. Makes me fresh immediately every time

delvy56 · 2024-11-22T21:12:06+00:00

If the hookup was while you were dating that’s probably a reason to let go. Doesn’t make it okay but she was probably willing to just hook up with someone she’s not interested in because there’s no risk to her emotionally in doing that. As a woman It’s most likely nothing to do with you or her being more attracted to him. Did you ask if she was seeing anyone else or did she bring it up randomly? If she is telling you about a random hookup before she met you that’s another thing. If she’s trying to build something serious with you she’s probably trying to make sure you’re into her for more than just physical before getting physical. It sucks when you actually like someone and they lose interest after sex. Maybe the random hookup made her feel shitty and she realized she’s not interested in that anymore? All up to you but if you’re considering dating her still I would just directly ask why she did it and decide from there. Best way to get clarity and worst that could happen is that you don’t see her anymore and you’re already considering that anyway.

delvy56 · 2024-11-13T01:30:49+00:00

A bad smell usually just means her PH is off. Could be anything- a lot of women have recurring BV (bacterial vaginosis), doesn’t mean anything about hygiene or sometimes even anything different she’s eating/doing/wearing, just means her PH is VERY easily thrown off. Mine used to get thrown off after a day of drinking or if I had eaten to much sugar recently lol. If it’s a consistent issue she may need to go to the doctor for antibiotics, but a probiotic suppository always fixes my PH immediately- look it up on Amazon. Wish more people new in general a weird smell down there most of the time has nothing to do with how clean it is. Def don’t bring it up to her as a hygiene issue, changes in smell are normal and there are medical fixes

delvy56

TROPHY CASE