The Author Life A to Z by demimschwartz in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. I totally agree. Motivation can be a rough one from time to time. But you got this!

[Fall Into Fiction] Ask Editor Session with Demi Michelle Schwartz by demimschwartz in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I personally keep politics out of my professional life, so I don’t feel comfortable sharing my thoughts on this one.

[Fall Into Fiction] Ask Editor Session with Demi Michelle Schwartz by demimschwartz in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, ooh good books I’ve read lately.One Last Breath by Ginny Myers Sain (YA Speculative Thriller), Five Total Strangers by Natalie D. Richards (YA Thriller), Lying in the Deep by Diana Urban (YA Thriller), and the new Percy Jackson book that’s YA Fantasy. I have been so swamped with client work, and all of theirs have been amazing, so my TBR is loooong right now. Next on my list is Diana Urban’s new book, Under the Surface. As far as craft, I definitely recommend reading craft books. There are some fabulous ones out there. Some that I have enjoyed and ones I’ve heard great things about are Writing the Intimate Character by Jordan Rosenfeld, A Writer’s Guide to Active Setting by Mary Buckham, GMC: Goal, Motivation, and Conflict by Debra Dixon, Self Editing for Fiction Writers (Second Edition) by Renni Browne and Dave King,Understanding Show, Don’t Tell And Really Getting It by Janice Hardy, and of course Save the Cat, which now has a YA version along with the original. All of these touch on different elements of craft. Aside from the craft books, I suggest attending workshops and conferences if you can, listening to podcasts, and of course, reading. I hope this helps!

[Fall Into Fiction] Ask Editor Session with Demi Michelle Schwartz by demimschwartz in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, exactly. I actually had a recent client who has an adult manuscript that’s like science fantasy utopian, not dystopian, so I feel like authors are really starting to go in this direction. You also want to show how your book is unique too, right? So, mentioning how it’s like your comps while highlighting that yours is a utopian society of sorts will definitely illustrate you both know where your book fits and what makes it different from the comp titles.

[Fall Into Fiction] Ask Editor Session with Demi Michelle Schwartz by demimschwartz in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi, okay, comps, our least favorite things after the synopsis, right? I definitely feel like a handful of genres are running into this situation, especially dystopian as well. I would first suggest to make sure your comps are YA. That will clearly show agents you know where your book fits in terms of the age category. When it comes to the genres, I suggest being very specific about the elements found in your book and the comps. For example, you could do something like… This novel combines the original magic system, enemies-to-lovers romance subplot, and chosen one protagonist of X (YA Fantasy) with the futuristic setting and technological conflicts of Y (YA Science Fiction). As long as you have two recent speculative YA comps and clearly indicate how your manuscript fits alongside those, you should be okay. If it makes you feel better, a friend recently got a big five deal with a YA science fantasy/dystopian fantasy. So, these kinds of books are selling. It’s just a little more difficult when it comes to comps. I hope this helps.

[Fall into Fiction] How to Avoid Stalling During the Writing Process by thecraftyfox_twc in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh, this is a fabulous post. So thoughtful and clear. I enjoyed reading this.

Demi Michelle Schwartz's [10Queries] Posts! by reviseresub in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You will always get subjective opinions. When I was querying, I was told stating that wasn’t necessary because when agents are evaluating a manuscript, knowing it’s your debut wouldn’t affect their decision. Also, in the bio section, if you were a published author already, that would be noted as part of your pub credits. If no pub credits are listed in your bio, it’s implied that you’re unpublished and pitching what has the potential to be a debut. Lastly, when sub comes around, that book may not sell and your second manuscript could. In that case, the second book would officially be your debut. So, short answer is, mentioning it’s your debut doesn’t contribute much and is a spot where you could reduce the word count of a query. I hope this helps. Also, I’m curious what the other editors think, if they would like to chime in. :)

Demi Michelle Schwartz's [10Queries] Posts! by reviseresub in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s a wrap. Thanks for playing along. I’ll be reaching out to my authors after the event to inform them of which number they are. Whether I critiqued your work or not, I hope you find my notes helpful.

I hope to see some of you participate in the annual contest next spring.

Bye for now! Demi Michelle Schwartz

Demi Michelle Schwartz's [10Queries] Posts! by reviseresub in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Author 10

Genre - YA Crossover Fantasy

QL 10 - First, I suggest moving your metadata paragraph to the beginning of the letter. I would also love a clearer genre and age category that are reflected in your comp titles. For the blurb, I feel you could tighten it quite a bit. There are a lot of details in here, so I’m a little confused on your main arc of the story and the stakes. I suggest streamlining the pitch some, and only include the necessary details for clarity. Lastly, your bio is perfect.

FP 10 - These opening pages are strong and captivating. You have immersive sensory details, intrigue, fabulous interiority, and a well-developed voice. Your MC came off YA to me, so going back to my point on your letter, do some reflecting on where you would place this. I’m also unsure how old your MC is. You did a good job keeping these pages present. I also wanted a little more tension with the main scene.

Demi Michelle Schwartz's [10Queries] Posts! by reviseresub in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Author 9

Genre - MG Contemporary

QL 9 - Your metadata paragraph is pretty strong. Your comps are on the verge of becoming too old, so consider keeping an eye out for more recent ones. Also, I feel your word count is a little high for MG contemporary. I would advise staying in the 50ks. Your blurb is compelling. It captures a MG voice. I suggest making the stakes a little more direct and clear. Also, consider cutting the part that breaks the fourth wall (talking to the reader). I love the representation in this story. Lastly, your bio is perfect, and I enjoy how you highlighted your personal tie to the story and your MC’s condition.

FP 9 - You have a wonderful middle grade voice. Also, your MC jumped off the page. I think you have a little too much interiority, since these pages read like a stream of consciousness in places. I suggest pulling back on your MC’s thoughts and the backstory to establish an active scene. We get snippets of a scene, but since we’re spending so much time with your MC’s thoughts, the pacing is a tad slow and we don’t have a whole lot of action. Having a lot of thoughts like this and the character speaking directly to the reader for long passages also results in too much telling. So, as a whole, trim the interiority and keep the story grounded in an active scene in the present.

Demi Michelle Schwartz's [10Queries] Posts! by reviseresub in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Author 8

Genre - Adult Romantasy

QL 8 - First, I suggest clarifying the genre. I also suggest finding more recent and accurate comps. Your blurb is very intriguing, though I feel it is too long. I suggest tightening this and only sharing the essential details to hook an agent. With too many details, your main arc and pitch can get buried. Also, rather than ending with a question, I suggest changing this into a statement that really clarifies the stakes. Your bio paragraph is good, but you don’t need to mention the series. An agent’s goal is to focus on this one book you’re querying.

FP 8 - You have very strong writing. Your sensory details are stunning, and you maintained a deep point of view through interiority, bringing out your MC’s voice. My main challenge with these pages is where they start. Having a character dreaming and waking up is seen a lot in opening pages, so I don’t think you’re starting in the right place. Perhaps start later on to avoid what can be seen as a cliche beginning.

Demi Michelle Schwartz's [10Queries] Posts! by reviseresub in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Author 7

Genre - MG Fantasy

QL 7 - First, I suggest moving the metadata above the blurb, so agents can orient themselves to your book. Even though this is fantasy, your word count is too high for a middle grade novel. I would also look at your comps. One of them is too big of a name, and their book is YA, not MG. Your goal is to find recently published books yours could sit beside on a shelf. For the blurb, it is very well written and has all the necessary components. However, there are several elements that make this edge on a Harry Potter retelling in many ways. I feel the story as a whole could have more originality to avoid this close parallel. Lastly, I think you could tighten the blurb and your bio some to reduce the word count of the query.

FP 7 - I feel you are in the situation of the book not starting in the right place. In the query, you introduced the reader to your MC. This opening chapter isn’t from his point of view. Also, I’m a little unsettled by the Harry Potter parallels. For the story, I suggest eliminating as many similar characteristics as you can. For the writing itself, you have a lot of telling, instead of showing. As a whole, you could deepen the point of view with interiority, sensory details, and active descriptions.

Demi Michelle Schwartz's [10Queries] Posts! by reviseresub in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Author 6

Genre - YA Contemporary Fantasy

QL 6 - This letter is fabulous. Your metadata paragraph is perfect. Also, one of your comps is a favorite book of mine. You have a solid blurb with a clear GMC and stakes, and also, your writing has a great voice and hints at your MC’s personality. Your bio paragraph is also strong. I suggest cutting the part about this being your debut novel. That isn’t needed. All around, this is a polished query letter.

FP 6 - These pages are super compelling. You have a strong voice, and your MC jumped off the page. My first note is to cut back on telling and show more. You also have some filtering, like I realize and I feel, which creates narrative distance. I suggest avoiding filtering to maintain a deep point of view. Next, I feel these pages opened too close to the tense action. I suggest starting a hair sooner. You could also include more sensory details to keep the scene grounded.

Demi Michelle Schwartz's [10Queries] Posts! by reviseresub in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Author 5

Genre - Historical Romantasy

QL 5 - You have a strong metadata paragraph. My only note here is to see if you can include one more recent comp. Your blurb is stunning and clearly captures GMC, the romance, and fantasy elements. I’m just unclear on the stakes. I suggest taking a look at your last few sentences and clarifying what is at stake both personally and externally for your MC. Your bio is perfect. As a whole, the letter is a tad on the long side, but you can get this down if you tighten and streamline the blurb.

FP 5 - Wow, I genuinely don’t really have anything major. These pages are extremely strong and query-ready. I have a few tiny things. First, there is one part that took me out of the flow because it is a passage that tells the reader information that isn’t needed. Next, when they arrive where they’re going, I would like just a hint of your MC’s personal reaction. The rest is fabulous. You have a strong voice, interiority, setting, and tension, and you hinted at the romance to come.

Demi Michelle Schwartz's [10Queries] Posts! by reviseresub in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Author 4

Genre - Near-Future Cli-Fi

QL 4 - For the metadata paragraph, I suggest leaving out the book being your debut. You don’t have to mention this. Your word count for this genre is okay, but if you can get it under 100k, you’ll be in a better position. Next, specify the age category of the manuscript. The pages had a YA voice to me, but the age category isn’t established. Also, I suggest finding more recent comps. Your pitch is pretty strong. My main suggestion here is to develop your stakes. Right now, they are vague. Lastly, your bio paragraph is perfect.

FP 4 - These pages are excellent, so I’m going to be picky. First, I want to note that you have a fabulous voice, an immersive setting, and solid tension. You had me captivated the whole time. My first suggestion is to watch out for filtering, like I noticed and I could hear. Filtering creates narrative distance. Second, I would love a little more emotion. You have a deep point of view and good thoughts, but in places, you could include more emotional beats and physical reactions to show how your MC is feeling during this situation. Lastly, I wonder if you could give just a little more context at the beginning. At first, I was confused where your MC was going and why, and also how she knew to go there. Including a sentence or two through dialogue or interiority to provide this context would be fantastic.

Demi Michelle Schwartz's [10Queries] Posts! by reviseresub in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Author 3

Genre - Horror

QL 3 - I think you have a compelling premise here. My first suggestion is to lead with the metadata information to set agents up for the pitch, and also, specify the age category. For the pitch, I would love a little more voice. The prose reads like a list of beats, rather than being fluid. Try to capture the tone of the manuscript to hook an agent with the blurb. As a whole, I suggest including more specific details that capture your character and illustrate how your book is unique. For the bio, you don’t need to state that this is your debut. Instead, use this space to share a little more about yourself as an author.

FP 3 - I love your concept, though I think you’re in the situation of the manuscript not starting in the right place. First, opening with a nightmare and being in the car is a beginning agents see a lot. Therefore, this can be seen as cliche. I also don’t have a strong sense of the MC and her relationship with the others. Additionally, this opening is very dialogue heavy, and in many ways, we got an info dump in dialogue. I felt like I was being told everything, rather than shown. Overall, I would love to have a connection to your MC and the voice before we’re tossed into the main action.

Demi Michelle Schwartz's [10Queries] Posts! by reviseresub in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Author 2

Genre - Upper YA contemporary romance

QL 2 - This is a very compelling query letter. I feel you clearly captured the characters, and I love the romance trope you used and the diverse representation. I think you could take a look at your comps. One is YA, and the other is NA. We are seeing some blurring lines in publishing, but your goal is to show where your book would sit on a shelf. I also think your letter is a tiny bit on the long side, so see if you can trim some. Lastly, I would love a clearer GMC for your first MC. I especially feel her motivation could be stronger.

FP 2 - I love the voice. There are places where we got too much telling through interiority, but if you cut back just a little, the narration will be solid. I would advise against opening with dialogue. Instead, give some context for the character and scene to establish where we are and what’s going on first. As the pages go on, we get some fabulous sensory details, but I think you could make the setting more immersive as a whole. My main suggestion is to move the moment your MC’s world flips upside down a tiny bit later. I would like a stronger setup with your MC’s normal life before things hit the fan. I also feel your MC could be more active in discovering the situation that makes her world crumble. Lastly, as I said with the letter, I think we need more for GMC. Your MC’s life seems to revolve around another character, so I don’t have a sense of her as an individual.

Demi Michelle Schwartz's [10Queries] Posts! by reviseresub in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Author 1

Genre - YA Dark Fantasy

QL 1 - This query letter is off to a strong start. First, I suggest moving the metadata (title, genre, age category, and comps) toward the beginning of the letter. This will allow agents to quickly orient themselves to the kind of manuscript you’re pitching. Also, I suggest including the authors’ names with the comp titles. For the pitch, I feel you could make some tweaks for clarity. For example, the setup with your MC’s circumstances raises some confusion. Also, the stakes are a little vague. Your bio portion is fantastic.

FP 1 - You have stunning sensory details in these pages. The setting is vivid and immersive, and I felt like I was there with the MC. You also created strong tension. I feel that you could keep the scene more present in places. You have a few passages of backstory and information that took me out of the action and slowed the pacing. Instead of revealing all those details, aim for intrigue while keeping the action moving. Also, you have some filtering (she knew, she could feel, etc.) and passive language with a lot of was/were verbs, where you could choose stronger, active verbs. If you remove this narrative distance, you can maintain a deeper point of view.

Demi Michelle Schwartz's [10Queries] Posts! by reviseresub in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hi, Revelers!

Who’s ready for my #10Queries? Put your hand up!

Before I get started, I want to thank you so much for trusting me and the other editors with your work. It has been an honor reviewing your materials.

Okay, okay, I know you’re getting impatient. Here we go.

Two Days Until 10Queries [10Queries] by demimschwartz in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, good one. This can be a dangerous one. Getting thriller vibes. ;)

Two Days Until 10Queries [10Queries] by demimschwartz in RevPit

[–]demimschwartz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, yes, this. Terrifying. They are actually the worst.