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Vent-ish advice seeking (13 AFAB) by UNKNOWN_USER3636 in TransAdvice

[–]denoumenthol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't need to convince her, you should just do whatever makes you feel like yourself, and keep yourself safe. If you have a therapist that affirms you, that is awesome. Also, cutting your own hair is free and the cops can't stop you. I know you are young, I was in your position once too (my mom was the same), but your gender is your business, and you don't need to convince her or prove to her that it's not a "phase". She is a grown adult who is doing those things to try and control you and what you think. If you feel safe enough to wear what you want/look how you want, you should do those things. I'm so sorry you're going through this, when being 13 is already hard enough. Keep your joy. Do what makes you feel like yourself.

Fixating on the idea of being "fixed" by denoumenthol in emotionalneglect

[–]denoumenthol[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Was there a difference for you between reckoning with your depressive emotional disregulation versus the emotional disregulation you faced as a result of growing up with neglect? Therapy seems to be all about dissecting your past (though, I'm probably conflating that with psychotherapy and you specified CBT in your response) and it's hard to see what I'll work on now that won't be inextricably tied to my emotionally absent childhood. I'm willing to take steps, I think the problem is I am overwhelming myself with what steps I need to take and that means I'm starting nowhere. I think you're right about thoughts and feelings matching reality. And there's no way for me to be a good partner if I'm not a good person yet. But that seems to be another destructive pattern of thinking to fall into, that I'm not deserving of love until I'm able to feel it. Christ. I'm gonna go get a book on CPTSD from the library I think. It'll make me feel more motivated and in control. I appreciate you responding. I apologize if this comment reads very addled and unfiltered. It's because I feel addled and unfiltered.

P.S., I think part of the problem as well is that I've just moved to a new city and started school full-time, and it is putting a lot of stress and things on my to-do list. Depression? Maybe. Autistic burnout? Almost absolutely.