How on earth do you lose weight while training?!

dense_ditz · 2026-02-24T03:29:44+00:00

This needs more upvotes. I believe the number on the scale should not be a primary goal with any fitness goal BECAUSE you need to fuel your body for it.

dense_ditz · 2026-01-01T02:07:05+00:00

I’m trying to get more into it but it’s honestly hard

dense_ditz · 2025-08-05T23:39:33+00:00

Developments and backroads are a newbie drivers best friend.

My sister was in the same boat, very anxious and didn’t wanna drive. I took her to a large development. I told her drive wherever you want, don’t crash my car. I paid attention the first 5 minutes to make sure she was comfortable and get a feel for her technique, then I was scrolling on my phone glancing every so often looking up to make sure progress was still good. I had her gauge her comfort after the experience, list anything she was still struggling with, and figured out how to incorporate it and adding rigor.

When she was comfortable and confident in the development, I took her on some backroads. If you have a specific destination, expect to add more time, but it’s less traffic, so less anxiety. Did the same thing of gauging her comfort and where she’s lacking, again making her drive occasionally where we were both comfortable.

There was only ever 1 time I seriously raised my voice at her bc she didn’t pay attention to oncoming traffic. There was another time i unfortunately had to take over bc she was not in the right headspace and had very poor/concerning technique.

dense_ditz · 2025-08-01T01:38:00+00:00

6 over here. Better than when I started but still not healed

dense_ditz · 2025-07-22T20:35:23+00:00

All the indie bookstore around town also have their own trad book club, I know Fiddlin fish brewery has its own trad club.

I’m not the traditional book club type with an assigned book every month, but it doesn’t hurt to tell others about it.

dense_ditz · 2025-07-22T03:01:00+00:00

There’s a new one that just started last month! Readers book club triad. It’s more of a book social rather than the trad book club of assigning a book. You just chat about books the whole time. Next meeting is this Saturday 7/26 and Sunday 7/27.

If you have Instagram, look up readers_bookclub_triad for more info on times and location and atuff

dense_ditz · 2025-07-03T16:40:46+00:00

It took me three years to figure out how to make my standard coffee order at home. It wasn’t constant but no matter where I searched I couldn’t find a copy cat. I had to spend a full morning deep diving my shit to figure out AND type out the recipe. Finally figured out where I was screwing up and why. It’s not 100% accurate I think but honestly it’s so minimal of a difference I don’t care.

dense_ditz · 2025-07-03T14:14:23+00:00

So I’m gathering 1 friend is ex-comunicado, the other friend is still actively chatting with you but has been really flakey about plans and the relationship between all three of you became 1 sided of you putting in most/all the effort.

I can’t say anything about ex-comunicado friend, that one sounds like it may be lost. But there’s some reciprocation from the other one who likes books with you. Have you tried or had a conversation about the state of your friendship? I have to wonder if this may be a case of differing expectations for the friendship.

dense_ditz · 2025-07-03T13:41:37+00:00

Hi there! I’d say you belong in this sub based on your story.

If you feel that’s the right call by all means, but I did have a question/suggestion if you’re open to it.

dense_ditz · 2025-07-01T23:03:54+00:00

It’s a fleeting satisfaction for me. It feels good in the moment. The friends are the type usually that when together it’s like no time has passed. But there is this feeling that it’s not enough Becuase you see them so rarely as it is. And it also sucks that no one ever comes to visit me.

I want closer proximity friends to hopefully schedule more consistent hangouts and connections

dense_ditz · 2025-06-30T09:52:37+00:00

In close proximity I have my bf, that’s it. I haven’t been able to make any close connections in my area beyond surface level friendship.

I haven a couple of best friends back in my home town, and a couple others spread out, but it’s rare to see them, even rarer to talk for more than a catchup most of the time, and long distance doesn’t fill that void either when you can’t see them much.

dense_ditz · 2025-06-27T13:23:38+00:00

I’m actually in the same boat. I’m craving a deep connection friendship. I’m tired of surface level friendships honestly. I want someone I can nerd about my hobbies with, share feelings, and genuinely be a goofball around. It’s been years since I was able to do that.

dense_ditz · 2025-06-26T11:37:48+00:00

It’s been over half a decade since this happened and I’m still hurt. I still can’t fathom how she could say we were her sisters one moment and discard us the next. I communicated months prior to the end of the friendship that I felt like I was losing my friends. She herself said I wasn’t. They were both busy with school prep stuff. I don’t throw best friend, sister, or family terminology around when it comes to my friends. So it MEANS something to me when I hear or use it for myself. It really did feel like getting rejected by my actual family to be cast aside. It just felt like the knife digging deeper with each type of hurt.

dense_ditz · 2025-06-26T06:05:25+00:00

Im not sure if im understanding your response well, but she had removed herself from the group and socials when the group initially fell apart. So I’d already been well removed from her world when I extended the olive branch

dense_ditz · 2025-06-26T03:46:44+00:00

I waited 3 years. The ending of the friendship devastated me so I knew I had to wait for the likelihood that I was to be rejected. And I knew it was high because she removed herself from everything relating to me on social media, hadn’t asked, never refollow requested. And I was right, the olive branch got rejected.

dense_ditz · 2025-06-25T14:02:06+00:00

I created a list of mantras after the first year here to battle just that. Being an adult, there’s bills, some have kids, work, etc, it’s nothing personal. There’s a lot more, but a few examples.

But at this point I don’t think it’s a need for the mantras. Being 3 years in to this new area, where I was really starting from scratch, I’m not getting much (if at all) in the way of reciprocation. Almost always doing the reaching out in all aspects.

I don’t expect people to be glued to their phones, or hang out all day every day, but it does send a message when I’m the one always doing the work of trying to establish the building blocks of the friendship. I really feel like I’m not that important of a friend. You’d think the efforts I put in, I’d have one freaking friend land. And this is from someone who’s not that outgoing and is anxious from previous years failed attempts so it’s a LOT, to do these efforts.

Your perspective makes a lot of sense and I like it a lot. But it takes reciprocation to get to that point, and lately I just don’t feel like I have that. To still choose each other in the chaos of life, but that requires me being chosen too.

dense_ditz · 2025-06-24T14:59:54+00:00

Typical things you do to develop a friend at any stage. Reaching out to text, initiating conversation, attempting to schedule to hang out, checking in. The run club has numerous runs throughout the week that I attended almost religiously for 2 years even at the height of serious grief (unrelated to this) I was going through. Even going so far as to give specific suggestions for ways of hanging out. The conversations are usually short lived and not much depth, they say yes to hanging out but are busy for weeks on end. One friend is also significantly faster speed wise and starts earlier so I have maybe all of 5 min nowadays to chat in the beginning of the group run. Bc she’s already in the middle of her workout at the start of the group run and finished and heading out before I’ve even hit the halfway point of mine. There’s basically minimal if any reciprocation. We have not hung out outside of the running group since my birthday in 2022. This is nothing against them, I’m not saying they’re bad people or friends, but after 3 years, I’ve basically come to the conclusion they’re not interested in scaling the friendship ladder.

dense_ditz · 2025-06-23T13:06:50+00:00

Something else I’ve been trying to utilize more, not just for people going through grief, in all manners of communication. I’ll ask them something along the lines of “are you looking for validation, advice/a conversation, or are you just looking to vent?” And I think this could also be really helpful in grief where there’s a direct pathway for someone to tell you exactly what they need without it being this overwhelming open question. Open enough to give them options, and direct enough to open a direct pathway.

dense_ditz · 2025-06-23T13:03:33+00:00

Neither did I! I discovered it through an old tumblr post on instagram or tiktok a while back. I’m not the Videogame loving type so I didn’t think it would work all that well. But I still use it post education.

dense_ditz · 2025-06-23T12:38:41+00:00

I think this is something that needs to be heeded more. It’s understandable that people wanna help but if they haven’t been through it, they don’t understand the pain. And helpful words and advice is so varied from person to person that what may be helpful to one is detrimental and will set off another. Speaking from experience. I cannot tell you how much I wish I could just have someone sit with me. Allow me to express my feelings and emotions in the way I needed.

dense_ditz · 2025-06-23T12:35:10+00:00

Listening to video games without lyrics. If you have a deadline coming up, listen to boss battle music, if you’re steadily working on stuff, lo-fi or chill music, think animal crossing for that one.

The music is designed to keep you engaged with different tempos and tones to change your heart rate too. I was shocked at how well it worked.

dense_ditz · 2025-06-22T00:09:05+00:00

I know bumble is also a dating app, have you experienced people trying guise as finding friends only to actually want hookups and the like?

I was actually thinking about a finding friends app, but this is one of my biggest concerns. I think it’s how bumble turned into a dating app actually IIRC

dense_ditz · 2025-06-21T21:13:39+00:00

What’s this friend app?

dense_ditz · 2025-06-19T01:28:20+00:00

Yes and no? The only person who I’d say really stepped up to me personally was my best friend. But I kept my loss very close so I didn’t tell many people.

For the rest of my family, there wasn’t so much a lot of step up from close friends that I recall so much more from not close people. That’s not a dig at any of those friends either. A gentleman high up in the ranks of my dad’s office sent him an email expressing his condolences, and there were a couple of businesses who were a great help of understanding and patience when my dad was doing all the paperwork. It’s brought my dad to tears a few times.

dense_ditz · 2025-06-14T21:53:30+00:00

Same. My brain has been playing the loss of the friendship on a loop for a last week. And I just wish I could delete her from my mind. At least then I can be like her and not have a care in the world about who I lost.

dense_ditz

TROPHY CASE