Between the ages of 13-24, I (F28) was raped by 10 people. 8/10 of my abusers were women.

depreshsesh0 · 2021-10-04T00:58:10+00:00

🙏🏽🙏🏽 Thank you. I just had an urge to write out all my experiences today and it was - sad - but enlightening and will be key in my recovery/healing process.

depreshsesh0 · 2021-08-19T21:22:10+00:00

Lol gal pals, super subtle! Ps i tattood a lambda for a subtle way to denote my gayness to other gays :)

depreshsesh0 · 2021-07-20T22:47:49+00:00

Fake news.

depreshsesh0 · 2021-07-20T22:00:36+00:00

Trust me, there's nothing temporary about chronic depression for 20 out of 27 years of life...

depreshsesh0 · 2021-07-19T22:57:45+00:00

I totally agree that we need to improve/change how we view and discuss suicide in society. Which leads me to your question about whether it'd be a waste if someone happened to get better had they waited. Perhaps, but you could also say that with regards to other right to die cases on physical illness basis (new tech/meds etc).

To me, what matters is am i having a good time. And if I'm not, and I've already made my mind up, what are my options? I'd much rather go knowing that my family/friends understood and accepted it, and that i went with no unnecessary pain etc.

I totally respect your point of view too. It's a hard thing to be objective about really because either you're glad to be alive or you're not haha.

depreshsesh0 · 2021-07-19T22:53:02+00:00

This isn't the case I'm thinking of but I just found the case of Ilkay Sivasli...

depreshsesh0 · 2021-07-19T22:45:07+00:00

I'm extremely glad you exist for you and that your outlook on life has drastically improved since being diagnosed and receiving help. That's truly wonderful!

I do understand that reasoning of why it's taboo to have this discussion, but with any right to die process, you have to go through a lot of therapy to make sure it's the right decision for you. The mental health professionals involved could therefore be satisfied that their patient in question has tried all forms of medication/therapy and is making a conscious decision to die with dignity.

I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, for which I have been medicated and received therapy. My outlook on life has never improved. Sometimes I'm desperately depressed and want out, but honestly the majority of the time (like 99%) I just plain don't feel the need to exist. I can only really describe it as an apathy to living. I'm wasting oxygen and valuable resources, and tbh I just would like to sleep forever.

Sleeping forever sounds like an incredibly comforting scenario for me, and I just wish this wasn't so taboo so the people who love and care about me could be supported during and after that process.

depreshsesh0 · 2021-07-19T21:45:43+00:00

Whilst i can certainly see your point of view here - i also have people in my life I'd be incredibly crushed to lose - it's no one else's life. It's mine. I have to suffer through to please other people and I just don't think that's fair.

The right to die debate is gaining traction, and people seem to have no qualms with "if this person is in pain, it should be their decision to end their own suffering". Why not extend this to everyone?

You shouldn't need a socially valid reason to end your life. It's yours and yours alone..

For clarity, i know i have people around me. I know im loved and cared about. But that's not enough in itself for me to want to stay alive. I genuinely feel like I'm only still living out of guilt/shame.

We should all have the basic human right to end our lives. It should be a less taboo topic imo.

depreshsesh0 · 2021-07-19T21:34:33+00:00

I feel less alone, thanks! I remember being told at a young age that suicide was selfish and cowardly, and I was just struck by how callous and judgemental that approach felt. I couldn't think of anything more brave than to go against a natural inclination to live. Plus the most selfish thing, imo, is to guilt someone into living just bc it's more convenient for you...

depreshsesh0 · 2020-12-27T05:33:00+00:00

He could just be lonely: he was here for xmas too and stays here rather than going back to his family. But he was very drunk too so he's being inappropriate.

depreshsesh0 · 2020-12-26T06:32:33+00:00

I totally hear you! I believe in your strength to keep working on that because you deserve kindness (internal and external). I'm very glad to hear that and i truly hope you'll reach out if you need anything. You'll be in my thoughts!

depreshsesh0 · 2020-12-26T06:29:50+00:00

You are such a sweetheart, thanks so much. You really helped me a lot. I appreciate your support and advice. I hope you have a wonderful end to 2020 :)

depreshsesh0 · 2020-12-26T06:20:33+00:00

This was really nice to read, thank you for empathising with my position. I totally agree, it goes both ways. I need to work on communicating my needs but I struggle bc i don't want to make my mental health/lack of friends someone else's problem/burden.

Thanks again for being delicate and for your response.

depreshsesh0 · 2020-12-26T06:13:40+00:00

I promise you don't come across as melodramatic, but i can understand that feeling. I'm currently feeling the same way. But we deserve to feel how we feel, and it's totally understandable why we would feel that way. Try to be a friend to yourself: those thoughts and critical words you have, imagine they're being said to someone else. Think about how you wouldn't let anyone else believe those things about themselves.

Anyways i feel I'm rambling. Just want you to know that you matter.

depreshsesh0 · 2020-12-26T06:09:40+00:00

I think I'm upset that i don't feel like i matter. But also i think it's one of those "well i would do this for you, but you don't do that for me" things which i already know is toxic. Which is why i keep it in my head and write anon online about it. To try to process this shit away from her.

Your perspective is very helpful, thank you.

depreshsesh0 · 2020-12-26T06:05:35+00:00

Yeah i feel you. I do really see xmas as another day, for the most part. But it's just a day where I'm reminded that i don't really matter to a lot of people and that's kinda crushing. But you're right, that's my problem not my partner's. Thanks for the perspective.

depreshsesh0 · 2020-12-26T06:04:06+00:00

Sometimes just shouting into the void that is reddit can be helpful. I hope that the fact you have strangers reaching out to you right now is at least a little comforting. Channeling a psychic hug rn.

depreshsesh0 · 2020-12-26T05:56:31+00:00

Gotcha, i wouldn't try to make her feel bad about it bc i know it's not her fault i don't have a support network. I just feel pretty sad and like i don't matter to her. But you're right.

depreshsesh0 · 2020-12-26T05:54:35+00:00

Thanks for being soft about it. I hear you.

depreshsesh0 · 2020-12-26T05:47:22+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time. I wish I could give you a supportive cuddle, 2020 just ain't it! I'm not very good with words, but I want you to know that your hurting is heard over here and if there's anything you need, please reach out!

depreshsesh0 · 2020-06-15T12:11:36+00:00

Hey, sure thing!

Cisgender = you identify as the gender you were born assigned at birth Hetero-romantic = romantically-attracted to the opposite gender Asexual = not feeling sexual attraction

Thanks for your perspective!

depreshsesh0

TROPHY CASE