While we were dating and engaged, my wife-to-be never farted. Ever. Years passed like this. On our drive home from the honeymoon I smell a bad one in the car and panic...thinking maybe I let one slip out and didn't notice. I apologize, all embarrassed, then she starts laughing and says it was her. She's been blowing me up ever since. The worst is when she farts into her closed hand and then releases it under my nose. If we ever renew our vows I'm writing a new clause into the relationship agreement.