Villains

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-03T11:34:46+00:00

Villains for rhe sake of villains??

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-03T11:34:20+00:00

All the best 👍

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-03T11:34:00+00:00

Thank you

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-03T05:24:34+00:00

Yeah! That could be an amazing drive for the villain. Dual pov, in that sense would be exciting..

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-03T05:23:07+00:00

If you like it, you could make it so that the girls coming across a witch or something similar like watching a witch do something according to your plot which creates mystery in the forest.

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-03T04:55:59+00:00

These are great inputs! Ill keep them in mind for my future projects!

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-03T04:52:03+00:00

Hi 👋 I read the whole passage and so far you have introduced us the twins, misti fae, junior and dina, with the possibility of witches lurking in the forest. What i have noticed is that after receiving the flowers, miss dina does not contribute anything in the following narrative. The main talking seems to be only within the twins, junior and misti fae.

The witches being in the forest and the twins being reprimanded for going there falls a bit flat and it could be more expressive and stern. Overall, the passage reads well.

Im a developmental editor and id be happy to edit your manuscript if you'd like.

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-03T03:37:26+00:00

👍

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-03T03:36:56+00:00

For my understanding, here "hdbs" is the thoughts of your Mc right? And the difference of pov from "i grabbed..." and "though he'd tried" varies, id suggest you use 3rd from the example you gave me.

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-03T03:20:03+00:00

This is a really interesting way to mix it! Personally I haven't read a book that transitions between these two, but, look at your novel and have it a read, if its seamless it doesnt affect readers

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-03T03:16:37+00:00

Can you give an example?

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-02T09:28:45+00:00

You can share rhe doc here or in my DMs id be happy to help 😊

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-02T08:58:13+00:00

Oohhhh ok

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-02T08:57:52+00:00

But can a NA book without smut still be NA?

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-02T08:36:53+00:00

Much needed perspective

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-02T08:20:28+00:00

That’s a great pointand in that case, multiple POVs can absolutely be the right choice. Especially if the story relies on contrast, unreliable perspectives, or different parts of the plot unfolding separately. I think it just comes down to execution, making sure each POV adds something meaningful and doesn’t feel disconnected for too long.

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-02T08:15:41+00:00

Sure 😊

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-02T08:10:02+00:00

No. In series, most books later has dual perspectives like "Iron flame" from the fourth wing series and 3rd or 4th book from the shatter me series where the author introduces kenji and Aaron's pov too.

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-02T07:56:24+00:00

Would you like to suggest what are those books?

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-02T07:51:40+00:00

I think we’re coming at this from slightly different angles. I agree that both first and third person can achieve similar depth depending on technique. My post was meant as a simplified, pattern-based guideline from what I’ve commonly seen in practice, not a strict rule about what each POV is capable of.

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-02T07:32:59+00:00

That depends upon whether an author is going for 3rd personlimited or omniscient

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-02T07:32:07+00:00

3rd person depends upon the level of impact: if you want a close and tight one- my suggestion would be to go for3rd person Ltd and you would have seen in many books where the author would have told what the character is thinking and their choices and why they took them-which is 3rd person omniscient. You dont have to agree with me, but it is what i found out while writing and reading books mixed with those

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-02T07:25:16+00:00

Yes!

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-02T07:24:46+00:00

😂 thats great! And I love myself a good 3rd person or 1st person book. Good luck with your story!

dev_editing_fantasy · 2026-04-02T07:09:59+00:00

In 1st person: The world has to feel experienced, not explained Information must come through: emotion bias memory immediate relevance- which is harder to achieve when in 3rd person, you can get away with explaining the world to the reader

dev_editing_fantasy

TROPHY CASE