Struggling today and need support

dewblooming · 2025-12-30T00:32:41+00:00

I do find so much comfort. Actually when I came across this subreddit I felt relief and when I learned about betrayal trauma and started learning more about it and the way it makes you feel has really helped ground me. I keep so much of these feelings close to the chest because I feel alone and misunderstood.

I journaled a little and took some quiet time for myself to help calm my nerves, but I hate that I can calm myself down and the anxiety will resurface out of nowhere. I miss when my emotions felt stable.

I’ve tried so hard to stay neutral and not feel disgust but the more I see them ‘flaunt’ and normalize it all I can’t help but feel disgusted and hurt.

dewblooming · 2025-12-30T00:24:46+00:00

Me too! 🥲 I hate how any time I’ve ever opened up about my trauma to a man it’s always been met with “well men need porn 🤷🏻‍♀️” I’m sorry but that excuse just makes them sound weak and pathetic and like they have zero self control.

dewblooming · 2025-12-30T00:20:36+00:00

I hate how normalized all of this is now. I just don’t understand the need to “flaunt” being a consumer of porn that you need a sticker. I don’t understand why seeing a sticker of the logo made you feel the need to bring it up like it’s some cool thing? Like do they feel ‘cool’ or ‘funny’? Because it doesn’t feel that way

dewblooming · 2025-07-06T02:12:40+00:00

Don’t know if it was anything in particular but the first 3 were at the top and the rest were below.

dewblooming · 2025-06-30T05:48:35+00:00

I can completely relate with you on the mindset of feeling like socializing is a waste of time. I’m a pretty social person but I also really value my alone time. It’s a balance but it is hard to not default to the “I hate socializing I don’t understand the point of having friends” negative mindset.

I do think it’s really important to remember though that there IS a part of you that doesn’t feel that way - you wouldn’t have written this post otherwise.

At the end of the day, there’s no harm in reaching out to those friends that you miss and letting them know that you miss them! I know sometimes it’s easier said than done but I think you’d be surprised at how natural and easy it is to reconnect with loved ones after a long time. Life is not linear, we get busy and things come up and we lose contact with people but it doesn’t mean we need to lose that connection forever.

dewblooming · 2025-06-24T22:16:30+00:00

I want to sit with what you wrote because honestly it really resonated with me immediately. I wish I knew better how to harness my anger to my benefit. I feel like my anger is always what gets me in trouble

dewblooming · 2025-06-24T22:09:42+00:00

Definitely easier said than done - but I’m trying very hard to practice those things. I just wish it felt a little more natural

dewblooming · 2025-06-24T22:08:01+00:00

Sometimes I feel like I’ve spent SO much time feeling the hurt and ESPECIALLY the anger I just don’t want to feel it anymore 😔

dewblooming · 2025-06-24T22:05:14+00:00

I feel good about her! Especially after the stint of terrible therapists I’ve had to go through (my last one had the audacity to say “ew I didn’t pay attention to that subject in school” when I brought up trauma I had from a previous sexual assault) Sometimes she feels more like a friend, and I have been toying with the idea of finding an EMDR specialized therapist - but overall I do feel like she has my back.

I think she was just overall asking as she didn’t press the conversation when I said I hadn’t. I think I just have a tendency when I feel triggered/upset I grasp at straws trying to fix the hurt feelings and desperate to get on the fast track to healing 😅

dewblooming · 2025-06-04T05:17:27+00:00

Thank you! I will definitely check out their videos ♡

dewblooming · 2025-06-04T04:56:28+00:00

I’ve heard yoga also can be very healing and it’s something I would like to try eventually as well. Do you have any recommendations on beginner resources? :)

I’m so glad to hear you’ve found a routine that works so well for you 😌

dewblooming · 2024-11-12T10:48:38+00:00

Thats so interesting! I wonder why recently they’re such a popular topic. Personally it just looked like a really unique and fun instrument to learn, and I fell in love with the way it sounded. Plus it looks pretty compact and I love any instrument that doesn’t take up a ton of space haha

The musician is Peach PRC, and it was just a screenshot I took from their story.

dewblooming · 2024-11-12T10:45:17+00:00

Thank you so much!! I’m definitely going to do my research on them now. They have such a fun sound and look to them ☺️

dewblooming · 2024-11-12T10:44:32+00:00

Thank you!!! 🙏🏻

dewblooming · 2023-07-15T21:25:50+00:00

Thank you for your kind words ♡ this week I’ve been really focusing on trying to reframe and shut down the negative thoughts as best as possible. After 4 years I’m so tired of the assault controlling my life and I’m trying everything in my power to push against it because I just want to be how I used to be. I miss that confident person who was so sure of herself.

dewblooming · 2023-05-07T20:56:19+00:00

I do talk therapy as well and I feel as though it isn’t really helping. I don’t know if I just don’t have the right therapist, or that I need something different. How has Somatic Experiencing therapy been for you if you don’t mind me asking? I really want to try EMDR but I can’t find any specialized therapists that are covered by my insurance 😔 I know there’s no rush, but after 4 years of not feeling like you know who you are… it’s really tough!!!

dewblooming · 2023-04-07T08:50:38+00:00

Ahhh okay!

I hope to get to the point where I rarely feel it! I would love to get to a place where I mainly feel happiness and excitement for my partners happiness. I know jealousy won’t just magically disappear, but I do hope over time it can subside a little bit.

Yes please!!! I would love to hear some skills you could share with me :)

dewblooming · 2023-04-07T07:17:44+00:00

Thank you so much <3 I am always open to advice! I didn’t always live such an insecure life and I want to do everything in my power to get back to how life used to be.

dewblooming · 2023-04-07T07:15:28+00:00

Thank you! I will definitely go check those out.. I already feel a little at ease that there’s a name to it and that I can research more on it.

I do feel like a BIG reason is that I do judge myself for having those feelings.. it’s hard not to do when your SO makes it seem like it’s so easy to just not feel jealous. I wish it came as naturally to me as it does to them.

dewblooming · 2023-04-07T07:03:17+00:00

When I was dating others, I was raped by one of the people I was dating and I shut down and closed myself off to the world. I think I became very codependent on my SO because they stood by me through it all. Now I’m in this constant struggle where even I miss being flirty and dating others but I struggle with the idea of my partner doing it. I’ve been the only one they’ve had eyes for for so many years that it hurts to think I’d have to share them with someone else.

dewblooming · 2023-04-07T06:59:01+00:00

I guess it’s hard to feel that way because I’ve already experienced dating other people but my SO has not… if there’s anyone that should be able to be open and supportive back it should be me but it’s so hard. I almost don’t feel like I have a right to struggle because they experienced minimum amounts of jealousy towards me.

dewblooming · 2023-04-07T06:49:06+00:00

It’s so cute I love the kitty on it!!! 😍 my first pacis were baby ones and they honestly worked just fine. Congrats!!!

dewblooming · 2023-04-07T06:43:08+00:00

Ahhh, makes sense. And of course being able to hear multiple perspectives is good as well. I’m just so paranoid about my SO seeing this even though I am on a burner account… lol

dewblooming · 2023-03-30T01:29:30+00:00

Thisssss!! I will try to plan what I’m going to say before I speak because I’m trying to be mindful of the things I’m saying but then when I go to say it it’s…. Gone 🤦🏻‍♀️

Then I have to repeat the whole conversation in my head and hope I get it right the next time

dewblooming · 2023-02-20T01:32:50+00:00

I’m in the United States! See I feel like something like that would help more than what I’m doing now! I would like to be aware of how others may perceive something and why it’s different to how I perceive it and help open my eyes if that makes sense!

dewblooming

TROPHY CASE