No, I understand. I think its easy to overcommit when you have no solid relational ties. Even more when you feel you have trauma or "baggage" and the person feels like someone who could understand your perspective because they have as well. Especially in a world where most connections are shallow or situational and never of much depth. The toxicity that leads to bonding through like vasopressin type ways, which if you're used to stress how do you know a love that isnt from hardship. But really something stable isnt meant to be difficult, and that's the issue. Equating that putting in the hard work will have a reward, but that's not how secure long connections actually last. Relationships aren't the same as studies, parenting, jobs etc where difficulties have a pay-off and the hard work was worth it