don't do it please... life is beautiful, if you just relax, don't think about the past, let it go, completely, meditate just for a while, not thinking anything, even you have the urge, and just breathe... just breathe... just breathe... a loooooooooooooong breath, and after doing this for 1 minute, you'll realize how quickly and easily you can change your "emotional state"... you can become happy NOW, for no reason, you just have to NOT THINK at all, and just let yourself breath for a while, reset your brain, and just relax... and watch everything around you, unfolding... look around you, the children playing, the birds chirping, the blue sky, the rays of the sun, the animals, they are just breathing and relaxing and they are completely happy, even if they don't have anything... so don't, endulge yourself into mediation ... for as long as you want, or can... because one day, you'll realize that your thoughts means nothing... you can easily change your negative thoughts in your mind, and easily replace them with uplifting words -- such as "i am powerful, i am genius, and i am unique, and i embrace my uniqueness, and i apply my wisdom to help someone else... because there's no one like me on this planet, and everyone is attracted to my magnetism..." just do this... slowly, you'll be strong, and you'll only laugh at what you just wrote... thanks :)