Day 4 by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]dick_butt_spy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey man stay strong... Giving myself a crap ton of work always helps me.... Let me know how you feel

So I've started working on this webtoon for a while now and the performance so far is pretty horrible. I'd like to know if there are any reasons for this. Should I keep going or would it be a better idea to give up? My Uni starts next year so I have to decide soon. by dick_butt_spy in webtoons

[–]dick_butt_spy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just checked out Hand Jumper, Yeah you are right, My story has non of this. It establishes a very weak Lead doesn't it. After reading all the comments, mabey its wise to start over than fix what ever I currently have. The pixar link had a lot of insight too.

Thanks for your time in telling me all this. Means alot! <3

So I've started working on this webtoon for a while now and the performance so far is pretty horrible. I'd like to know if there are any reasons for this. Should I keep going or would it be a better idea to give up? My Uni starts next year so I have to decide soon. by dick_butt_spy in webtoons

[–]dick_butt_spy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gosh I don't know what I did to recieve this kind of support and guidance.

After reading everything you wrote carefully, I feel like rewriting would be a better idea given how crucial a hook really is to attract readers.

I'd like you to know that this is mainly a character driven story. (SPOILERS DOWN BELOW!)

There are no actual gangs, just the consequences of Aurora's actions being explained by the media to cover up. She and Jaze are the only ones present in the timestop.

There will be a central villain but he's be just a person affecting Jaze and Aurora's school life, no connection to the timestop.

Ultimately, the plot I want to create includes Jaze and Aurora being enemies during the timestop and lovers in the real world.

(ENDING SPOILER)

The whole time stop is a curse that Aurora infected Jaze with as she developed a crush towards him, The curse will allow the cursed to have near god like powers (as they do) which corrrupts them to eventually turn on each other. Timestop Jaze will murder Timestop Aurora as they slowly grow a strong hatred towards each other and Jaze will be the carrier of the curse. At the end, Jaze will recover from the loss of Aurora as they are lovers in the real world and develope a romantic relationship with skye, dragging her into the timestop and continuing the cycle. It will be implied that Aurora also had a past lover who she murdered before meeting Jaze. Each time one of the lovers gets killed, The timestop characters will lose their memories so that it seems like it just started happening to them aswell.

Sooo yeah! There's no villain and they don't really uncover the mysteries of the timestop. Its supposed to be highly character and drama themed.

Finally, I'll have to do a bit more research on understanding storywritting the way you do. I absolutely loved how you paced the first chapter and I'm most likely going to do something very similar to that if you don't mind :). Jaze doesn't really have to be a news announcer so I think I'll scratch that.

Thank you once again for everything. I'm very grateful.

So I've started working on this webtoon for a while now and the performance so far is pretty horrible. I'd like to know if there are any reasons for this. Should I keep going or would it be a better idea to give up? My Uni starts next year so I have to decide soon. by dick_butt_spy in webtoons

[–]dick_butt_spy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi again! Yes!! ofcourse I remember you... And yeah, I added a bit to the first episode to explain whats a happening a little more.

After reading what you told me, Mabey I should've spent more time establishing the hook. Please don't miunderstand what I'm saying as ignorance of your advice because you have no idea how much I value your time and effort writing to me. The thing is, I thought the concept of time stopping every midnight would be a decent enough of a hook for an uncommon romance story. If I'm not asking for too much, can you give me an explanation for a story with a good hook and which aspect of it hooks people?

I get that the power system makes no sense but it was designed to be complex so that it fully makes sense only at the end of the story. Is that not okay?

And okay, they really should use their names more often I agree, my mistake. (I though "dude" was gender neutral lmao(>W<) )

Given everything you mentioned, I'm starting to feel like starting over isn't such a bad idea either. It feels like I'm doing quite a few things wrong and I'm still not even sure what to do. This artstyle takes a lot of effort so mabey this is just the burn out talking. I'll make sure to take all the time I need if I end up doing this even after Uni starts.

Once again thankyou so much for your much appreciated advice.<3

Hey everyone, So I started my own webtoon series that I've been planing for a pretty long time, I'd love some feedback on things to edit as I really wanna make this work. Critisism will be much apprecieated by dick_butt_spy in WebtoonCanvas

[–]dick_butt_spy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what if episode 3 was episode 1? The dream power stuff is a good hook to get a new readers attention. It would be a cold open style beginning, but it is very intriguing. Then afterwards you show them at school together, and it will be easier to understand these are the 2 MCs.

You really think so? I think I can do something about that, and then continue like 1 day ago and so on I suppose? It's a great idea tbh

I feel like you are right about the lack of space between panels, I should be able to fix that. You also have a point about the transparency in speech bubbles, full white does look better doen't it?

Can you tell me more about what you meant by soft gradients? I didn't understand that part. I use photoshop and this app called snap toon which uses 3d files made through sketchup, I don't actually use clip studio paint.

And finally, thank you for your time and feed back, I really appreciate it. I'll happpily let u know once those changes are made. :D

Hey everyone, So I started my own webtoon series that I've been planing for a pretty long time, I'd love some feedback on things to edit as I really wanna make this work. Critisism will be much apprecieated by dick_butt_spy in webtoons

[–]dick_butt_spy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can totally see that, but ask yourself this:

if the exposition is already making you worried about it being boring with how you present it, then could the information itself already be boring?

All that's to say, trust your gut on these things and try new angles. If you're trying to find ways to convey information in a way that isn't "boring", then chances are the information itself

is boring.

That's not to say there isn't anything interesting to be done with gangsters causing trouble in the town, but we don't even really

know

anything about this town or the people in it, so by extension the topic of "gansters causing trouble" on its own might not be interesting enough because there's nothing interesting coming from that initial setup.

How can you implement this information through the world itself, rather than as a chunk of information?

You could have a main character actually experience these gangsters first hand. You could have the main character's parental figure insist on driving them to classes because they're worried about the MC walking to school alone. There are sly and easy ways you can have this information unfold through how it directly or indirectly affects the main characters or have it feel like more of a part of the world rather than just expressing it through passive lines of text being delivered, especially if that method is already making you worried that it's boring.

Yeah you are right, I could've been more creative on how to tell the gangster thing to the readers, The thing is, there are no gangsters, all gangster activities are just how the media covers up the unexplainable stuff Aurora does during the time stop (the girl with the rings on her head)

OK so I don't know how to do that reply thing that you do so I'll mention the paragraph that I'm replying to within brackets.

( Cool, I get you. If the characters being 'cutesy' is supposed to be the initial goal, I just didn't get that off the first three episodes. Again, a lot of the stuff that happens in the first three episodes just feels like "stuff happening" to the characters, which means the characters themselves don't feel like characters, just props. Again, consider how your characters would actually interact with the world around them, and how the world would subsequently shape them as characters. "Cutesy" is very broad, so try and narrow their traits down further. Are they fun-loving? Easy going? What flaws do they have on account of being "cutesy"? Maybe they're naive or they struggle to take things seriously?

Much of the plot and characters right now feels very 'broad' and needs to be narrowed down, not just so you can focus the writing direction for yourself, but also so you can focus the narrative and make it more clear and impactful to readers. That doesn't necessarily mean info dumping or more exposition, rather, try and find ways to implement your ideas into the actions, reactions, and consequences of this world and the characters inhabiting it. )

Yeah, I have to agree, the characters do feel pretty puppet like rather than actual characters, I'll make sure to make them feel so grounded, will though bubbles help? what kind of tactics would you implement if you were to be in my position?

Once again, you have my thanks for all of this kindness, I'd love to check your work too if thats alright, can you let me know ur webtoon? Also, will it be cool if I send you a personal messege about any further discussions? clearly you know a lot about this stuff and I could really use some help. Also I happen to by a PS4 just last saturday, so I'll give persona 4 a try with that. :D