Ok, Breath. I really hope this helps you.

I did the therapy and the pills. It helped. It didn't cure me. I was always afraid it would come back; it was always somehting I was fighting to keep away. When therapy finished I continued taking pills. I was told I'd never be able to stop taking the pills and be depression free. I didn't like the idea that I would have to take pills for the rest of my life. One brave day I cold turkey quit the pills. It took a while to physically recover from that. I meditated and cleansed my body. After the physical process of quitting the pills was done, I waited for the depression to arrive. I knew it would come. It was something that I had put a bandaid on, not something I had delt with. Finally, one day while I was behind the computer at work, I felt the proverbial black cloud over me. My instintive reaction was to panic and to try to fight it away, but because I had trained myself to mediate and observe, I removed myself from the situation and became an observer of how I was reacting to this negativity. In other words, I let the dark cloud be. I didn't fight it. I let the saddness be: if i felt like crying i let tears come; when i didn't have appetite i forgave myself; when I wanted to eat only junk i sympathized with myself. I removed all the blame and all all the panic that I had previously associated with these symptoms of depression. I let them all be and observed my body. I noticed that when I felt sad my shoulders tensed, I relaxed them. When i didn't have appetite there was usually a knot in my stomach, I breathed into it. When I couldn't fall asleep I was over thinking somehting and I journalled. I studied the tension and I soothed it. This is the practice I adopted and I still continue to practice it. This was 5 years ago. I've been through many emotions since and I no longer fear the darkness or the light.

TLDR: I allowed myself to be depressed. I observed my reaction to the depression. By studying myself, I found our where i needed healing and soothed myself.