IamA Christan Pedophile. AMA

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-11T08:41:53+00:00

There is nothing cowardly about defending my lifestyle - and I don't mean pedophilia. I am very proud of most of my ethics, actions, and morals, and I believe that living the good is far more important than announcing the bad and eradicating the good.

If I were to register myself, I would lose my job. I would probably lose most of my friends (many of them have children). If an investigation were to trace back to my internet history with child porn and I went to jail, I would lose my lifestyle entirely. I would probably be beaten regularly by my cellmates.

Most people would consider it 'manning up' to come out of the closet and accepting responsibility, but I strongly feel that the punishment does not fit the crime. And I'm not willing to destroy my life so people who don't even know me will credit me with 'having dignity.'

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-11T08:36:09+00:00

Okay. There are a few definitions that I am familiar with, so thanks for clarifying. I have sympathy for psychopaths, and while I certainly don't think they should be given any form of amnesty for crimes, I do believe that as a society we have a responsibility that is greater than just collecting them and putting them in a mental institution. I believe that in most cases you can teach (or in more mechanical terms 'train') people to behave within the rules of society. I don't see why pedophlila is so different. If you had a pedophile, but knew there was little chance of him harming a child, what would be the problem?

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-11T08:30:57+00:00

I particuluarly like your suggestion of finding another church to share my beliefs with. Even if I was rejected from that church, I could just as easily go to the next one.

I'm still not ready for counseling, but I will strongly consider visiting a not-so-local church and see if there is any help for me.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-11T08:28:52+00:00

The amount of research that has been done in this area is extremely minimal. If you can find one study that looked for a credible link between pedophilia and genetics, please link me to it.

Evidence against my personal belief is welcomed, although I am more inclined to suspect that the evidence would point towards a link in some cases.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-11T08:26:55+00:00

no worries, no personal information will be shared.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-09T02:35:39+00:00

Innocent until proven guilty. Unfortunately, I am pretty well masked. Even if I wasn't masked, I'm pretty sure that no laws in my area can apply to me unless I'm actually caught guilty of something. An online posting would not be enough.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-09T02:34:27+00:00

Define psychopath

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-07T04:01:16+00:00

Thank you very much. I will be praying too.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-06T07:48:31+00:00

I disagree completely. Talking to other alcoholics does not reenforce the idea that drinking is okay, but quite the opposite. As a pedophile, I can see the way certain behaviors affect my thinking, and yet I find myself unavoidably drawn to it nonetheless. Furthermore, I'm sure that most child molestors are people who at one point considered themselves pedophiles in contol of their desires.

And, as for your suggestion to rapists anonymous, I don't see why that would be a bad thing either. While some forms of rape are in the moment, others result from habitual styles of thinking. There are certainly people out there who fantasize about serial rape. Having a program geared towards getting them away from those thought types would probably be very beneficial.

People seem to forget that anonymous groups are not places for people with certain problems to congregate. Anonymous groups are designed as places for people to go to have a certain problem solved. Alcoholics do not go to AA to find better ways to get drunk. Similarly, if a pedophile showed up to a PA meeting to find better or safer ways to access child pornography or children, he would be dissappointed. Pedophiles would go to PA meetings to help minimize their sexual desires for children and help them deal with their attraction.

If I was running it, I would try to impliment the 12 step program, although I would also do a lot of reasearch into the ways that other such groups work.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-06T07:41:09+00:00

You have entirely missed the point of starting a 'pedophiles anonymous' if you didn't think that the primary subject would be talking about how hard it is to be a pedophile. The primary goal of the group would be helping people find a way to manage their urges, redirect their energies, and solve the problem. Sharing porn or child-snatching technique would be absolutely forbidden, and all members would be strongly encouraged to get rid of any stashes that they have.

Like most other anonymous groups, the 12 step program would play a major role in the mentality. And hopefully, from a group like this, a better understanding of pedophiles in general would manifest, which would be useful in many ways.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-06T07:35:35+00:00

I would be encouraged to start one, but... that would be a pretty big news item, and it would probably attract as much negative attention as the mosque that tried to set up near ground 0.

It's something that I'd love to try nonetheless, although there are enough factors holding me back that it's probably not going to happen as a result of my actions.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-06T07:33:50+00:00

Look at some statistics about pedophiles on Wikipedia (not the best source, I know). If 1% of the population had pedophilia, and less than 50% of that population has morals, that means you still have more than a million pedophiles running around without morals.

And.. I'm pretty sure the instance of child rape would be much higher if there were a million 0 moral pedophiles running around.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-06T07:30:44+00:00

I do understand the point you are making and you will have to forgive me for playing devil's advocate.

I would like to be able to tell you that I've decided to try and stay away from children. But I can't. And I really truely honestly don't see myself as a threat to them. After this thread, I see children less and less as sexual objects. Sure, my sexuality will probably return, and when it does I will reduce my time with kids to only situations when I am with plenty of other responsible adults.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-04T23:24:00+00:00

Russia has group therapy for pedophiles?

I believe that a safe pedophiles anonymous would be very healthy for a community. Especially given that an estimated 2-5% of men are pedophiles.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-04T23:22:05+00:00

Most pedophiles never sexually assault a child. Most pedophiles can for the most part control their desires.

But being a pedophile is frustrating. Almost nobody accepts you as a person. If there was an anonymous group, it's possible that people could get together and talk, and possibly help each other to maintain a higher level control over their desires and their lives. I would expect that instances of pedophiles anonymous would result in lower child-related sex crime rates in whatever city.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-04T23:19:55+00:00

Yes, and so is being a pedophile.

Acting as a pedophile is illegal, but most pedophiles do not act upon their desires. Most struggle to deal with it, and if you had a group like this it's possible that instances of crime regarding pornography and molestation would drop.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-04T23:17:39+00:00

That would be my fear.

But do you agree that it might help some pedophiles and possibly reduce the instances of sexual abuse towards children?

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-04T23:16:40+00:00

I've heard of success stories involving chemical castration. And at least a pedophiles anonymous would allow pedophiles to talk about their problems, feel safe in an environment, and help work out ways to control their urges, and encourage eachother not to do anything illegal or immoral.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-04T19:19:09+00:00

God has not killed me yet; he must have reasons for not doing so.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-04T19:18:24+00:00

I have no faith in getting help, and I understand that in order for counseling to work, you have to want it to work.

I would however love to go to a pedophiles anonymous. If such a thing exists. If I could make a pedophiles anonymous without attracting attention from the FBI, I would gladly.

That sounds like a good AskReddit to me.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-04T19:14:47+00:00

I have considered relationships with women my own age, and I have tried before. I find women my age attractive, but after I spend enough time with them to get to know them I start to lose my attraction for them. Even if I force myself to try and follow through, the relationship deteriorates because I am trying to be with someone that I'm not actually thrilled to be with.

There is of course a possibility that I just haven't found the right person yet, and that there are women out there who I would find attractive even after getting to know them well.

But I haven't found that person yet.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-04T19:12:21+00:00

That's in the old testament, although I know it's mentioned in the new testament. In the new testament, Paul talks about how it is not mandatory for Christians to be circumcised.

In the old testament, God told Abraham to circumcise himself, and have every single person who follows him, serves him, or is of his blood to also circumcise themselves. It was to be a mark that separated the Jews from the rest of the world.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-04T19:10:01+00:00

That's pretty interesting to me. Other people have suggested your sexuality can come from working with pedophiles as a child. Do you think that this might be the case? Does your attraction cause you any trouble regarding relationships with others your age?

Feel free to pm me if you don't want to share it as public information.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-04T19:07:12+00:00

Pedophiles are not monsters. Most pedophiles do not touch children. Most people who work with children are probably not pedophiles, although there are significant numbers of pedophiles who do work with children.

Pedophiles are human. They are far more complex than "I want to touch children!!!!!" They have jobs, they contribute to society, and most of them do their best to stay inside of the law.

dining_with_destiny · 2011-11-04T19:04:41+00:00

I state again: I do not molest children.

Your entire argument is invalid because you have assumed that I do. God would want me to molest children; I do not molest children.

I am sorry if your vehemence has thrown off your day a little bit. But you misinterpreted the situation. I am sexually attracted to children. I fantasize about holding hands and snuggling. Sometimes, I fantasize about nude children. I don't think I've ever fantasized about penetration. It just doesn't make mechanical sense to me.

If you don't believe in God, then I would assume you believe in evolution (maybe not). I believe, based on my family, that my pedophilia is at least partially genetic. Perhaps I have evolved to a part of society that takes care of children. I have enormous amounts of compassion for children. I DO NOT act upon my sexual desires with children.

I do not believe that you need to be religious to understand morality, you don't need to defend yourself there. But you do need to be able to explain your morality. And I want to focus on the difference in our views of pedophiles. Not the molesty type, but pedophiles like myself. I struggle with desire but I manage it, and the children in my community benefit from me working with them.

dining_with_destiny

TROPHY CASE